After a brief respite of my travelogue, we are back to our regularly scheduled programming of the melancholic and philosophical thoughts of Katherine the Catholic Homemaker . . .
The latest enjoyment I think I have to give up or severely reduce is conservative talk radio. I am disappointed!
I've given up most modern media during my Christian walk, which has been anything but easy. I think the first media I gave up was watching the television show "Friends." I was a fairly new Christian and the sordid plot lines glorifying all manner of sins were getting to me (in Christian lingo, starting to "scandalize" me). What finally sent me over the edge was the plot line sensationalizing having a child out of wedlock and denying the baby a good father (because she wouldn't marry the man). I had watched "Friends" since the very first episode for nearly ten years, and I stopped watching it in the final season, plus would not allow myself to exercise the curiosity of learning how the show ended. That may seem ridiculous, but it was very painful for me! (I've given up many favorites since then, and this season gave up "American Idol," which was one of the last shows remaining.) The problems aren't just moral ones, but also that I don't like feeling addicted to a plot line such that I rush through my chores and look forward all day to finding out what is happening in a false world of a television show, rather than interact with real human beings or do any number of fruitful projects I'd enjoy.
Parenthood has caused me to feel it necessary to give up media not just on behalf of my soul, but for my children's souls--so as not to expose them (inundate them) with media I can say most charitably is bereft of Christian virtues. We limit John's TV to two shows per day, sometimes zero, and the actual list of shows he may watch is very short. Most children's cartoons are disgusting to us, teaching disrespect, rebellion, and immodesty, among other vices. (Also, we have concerns about how television actually changes the neurological development--for the worse--of babies and children and studies show that it appears to cause great damage in children who are later diagnosed with autism.) Limiting John's TV is challenging because when he is zoned out in front of the TV is one of the only times I can focus on something other than him and be productive. And it's a lot cheaper than hiring a mother's helper to occupy him for a couple of hours. How I would love to let him watch more TV!
We've also set the rule of not watching adult television in front of John. (While there are some adult shows that are benign, right now he won't tolerate watching them and just stands there shrieking for one of his cartoons.) Frankly, I'm so busy I don't understand how people have time to watch TV during the day or evening, but I remember that I used to watch many hours per day of it, so there must be a way. Right now, John is back to going to sleep late--around 9:00 p.m.--and I just can't last much longer than that because of Mary's night wakings and John waking for the day around 6:00 or 7:00 a.m., so I end up not watching any television after he goes to sleep either. I find myself going weeks without watching any television except the occasional "Curious George." I had hoped that watching so little TV would make me stop missing it, but I still feel like I am going through withdrawal symptoms.
About a year ago, I gave up listening to most music because Chris and I don't think the "rock" beat or the lyrics are good for children (there are many interesting books and articles on these ideas), plus many songs take me back in time to my pre-Christian days, which is not a place I want to revisit. I've been slowly building our collection of "good" music CDs, some classical, some folk, some children's nursery songs. Sadly, a year into this and I still miss rock music and don't get a thrill from classical music. However, I know that is a result of the bad training of my ear and my reasons for giving up the other music still stand.
Most recently I've been feeling my conscience niggled about conservative talk radio. I listen to talk radio every time I am in the car (which is every day) and usually during lunch and dinner preparations. It is the only way I take time to know what is happening in current events. With what limited reading time I have, I put that toward books, not newspapers or Internet news. I'm so out of touch, sometimes I've asked Chris what is going on in the world and he's had to tell me of international wars breaking out. I certainly don't want to give up talk radio, but I can't help but notice that talk show hosts (of any political persuasion) present a stream of sarcasm, mockery, unchecked anger, and a lack of sincerity. Those are vices we do not want my children to absorb. And, I have to admit, hearing that manner of talking every single day isn't good for my soul either. I am so disappointed about this latest realization. Listening to talk radio is one of my only connections to adult conversation and world information, plus I can listen to it while I multitask--and a mother's entire life is multitasking!
I don't share this to sound like a great Catholic because I'm not one. (I have so many unfulfilled goals, like a better prayer life, a daily rosary, daily reading about the saints, having the willingness to fast, etc. Add to that domestic goals like cooking from scratch more, eating at fewer restaurants, learning to sew, cross-stitching some art projects. And within a couple of years I have to carve out enough time to home school?!) I suspect that only a few of my friends will understand where I am coming from. Really, it's not much different than someone who chooses to give up doing drugs, smoking, or partying, for example, because she is now a mother. Those simply weren't my vices to give up.
Perhaps my praying friends will spare me a prayer to have fortitude in the face of this latest sacrifice!
Prayers coming!
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you with a lot of the sacrifices and finding ways to be virtuous.
Ashley
The sacrifices which hurt are the sacrifices which most please our Lord. A false or 'easy' sacrifice is no sacrifice at all. Giving up talk radio reminds us of the early, brilliant desert fathers who would give up studying Cicero and the other great Roman (pagan)writers because the Christian was simply too enamored of the writing. He gave up what he loved, because he loved God and virtue more.
ReplyDeleteFinally, we recall St. Francis de Sales' astute observation about protecting the soul: "Remember, in the body poison enters the mouth; for the spirit, poison enters through the ear."
The Holy Spirit's whispers have been clearly heard by one Catholic earnest about her progress in sanctification. One day her husband and children will praise her.
If Rush Limbaugh is good enough for Fr. Z, he is good enough for me :P
ReplyDeletej/k my melancholic friend.
love, your sanguine friend (no, I really am not listening to Modest Mouse right now. Noooo.) ;)
Great post. I'm right there with you. It's amazing how much we notice the subliminal messages or effects of things once we have children. It will only benefit ourselves while benefiting our children. Afterall, it is our soul duty to get our children to Heaven. No earthly pleasure is worth interfering with that!
ReplyDeleteElaine: You're my sanguine friend! I don't think Rush et al. are evil, but Fr. Z is an adult listening to him, not an impressionable child who can't sort through what he is hearing. Also, I know that the sarcasm and mockery of these talk show hosts cause me to succumb to my particular faults. I'm an extremely critical person, so listening to a lot of sarcasm and mockery can be an occasion of sin for me.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't know what Modest Mouse is!
Katherine - I can relate!!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this post since I first read it yesterday and had all sorts of things to add, but now I'm just too tired to type them out! (Boys had high fevers last few days, but no other symptoms.) All I'll say is, "YES!" Right there with you. I've stopped listening to most of the music I own (and it's really fairly "innocent" all things considered), but I've resisted actually chucking the CDs. This may be what I need to finally do it. *Gulp*
ReplyDeleteSame with TV...another longtime Friends fan here. I actually OWNED all ten seasons on DVD at one point. When DS1 was born, we had already made the decision to keep the children screen free, but not so for us. It's just recently that I've personally started being very judicious. We've never had cable and since the change to digital don't have any TV reception, but the internet and Netflix make it all too easy to still watch shows that really have no place in my life (CSI anyone??) Radio...nothing but Classic FM and NPR 2-3x/week for an hour or so.
We should have a conversation (email or phone) about media sometime. I'd love to talk more with someone going through similar decision/sacrifices!
This ended up being a lot longer than I thought. Guess this topic just gets me all fired up!
Courtney: I like how you phrased it: things that "don't have a place in my life." Yes, I'd enjoy talking more about it with you. I think I still have to respond to an old email of yours on another interesting conversation we were having! I'm sorry I've been so limited in my Internet time lately.
ReplyDeleteWhat about more contemporary christian music? How does that fit in? I've recently been listening to Phil Wickham, who's an amazingly talented young man with a heart after God. I'm all for giving up things that distract, despite my failure to do so in many areas. But I also try to be careful to evaluate when I give something up, that I am gaining a closeness to God through it, and not so that I can say (even just to myself) that I have done it. Jesus lived simply but also did not give up some of the things the Pharisees did for this reason.
ReplyDeleteHmm.... A better way to put what I was thinking:
ReplyDeleteSometimes I have to look at how I can replace what I'm thinking about giving up. The trade is better realized for me. Like some rock, for worship music, or time in front of the TV for more edifying reading. BTW, we still watch way too much TV!
Katherine,
ReplyDeleteI converted 10 years ago, and it is still in progress! Rest assured that it doesn't happen overnight! But I do notice now that where before I was deciding to give up something I "liked", now when I see/hear these things they seem totally alien to me and I can no longer fathom what I saw in them. And, YES, it is creepy to hear early 90's(the last time I paid any attention to it) rock music played somewhere and find myself saying all the words in my head. Because it is IN THERE!
I did dabble in "Christian" pop type music at first to try to substitute, but I did eventually get turned off by it. It is very emotionally orientated, and tries so hard to be acceptable to non-Christians that the lyrics and beats can be very suggestive. I knew for sure when one of my littles said "mommy, what are they talking about?" when a song that had a chorus saying over and over something to the extent of I love you, you make me feel so good, I can't wait to be with you. I said "you're right! what ARE they talking about!"
We like Irish folk music. The songs tell stories, and it is not as commercialized as other genres. (of course, not every single folk song is appropriate for children) Tommy Makem is one of my favorites. There are Traditionalists that have recorded some great Irish music CDs as well.
I can't help you with the talk radio as I have never listened to it. I did listen quite a bit to NPR when I first went off TV to try to keep in touch with the world. But I find now that I can't take much of it because of the liberal bias. I do read/skim the Wall Street Journal most days, and check out things on the Internet but that's about it. You have to take all "news" with a grain of suspicion and know that their view depends on what their motivation comes from.
I love your blog. You are right where I was 8 or so years ago. Back before there were blogs!
Alicia W.
Isaac and Alicia: How nice to hear from two old friends! I didn't know either of you ever visited my blog! I'm tickled.
ReplyDeleteRe: current Christian rock, Alicia described some reasons I don't care for it. I mean, "on the natural," yes, I like it and it gets me moving and grooving without the lyrics being about nasty things. However, I think the music is too suggestive and isn't quieting for our souls. (There is much written on this subject that explains it better than I could.) Also, the vast majority of that music is not theologically Catholic. The lyrics present a nearly purely emotional, feel-good connection to God, which concerns me, and the once saved, always saved theology is a frequent (non-Catholic) theme. But thank you for the thoughtful idea, Isaac!