Wednesday in Atlanta

On Wednesday morning, we visited the Monastery of the Holy Spirit in Conyers, GA.

The many geese on the property excited the children.

"Don't fall into the fountain, girls!"

We were unable to tour the monastery museum because it turns out that the cafeteria was temporarily closed: we had planned to tour the grounds, eat lunch, and tour the museum. Without food to fuel my little ones, we had to leave to find a restaurant. Another trip will have to be made in the future!

Joseph fell asleep holding his big brother's hand

In the late afternoon, we went to visit Chris' brother, sister-in-law, and our children's three cousins.

Joseph with Aunt Holly

Pop-Pops with three grandchildren

Joseph's tummy time

Boys vs. Girls: For at least an hour, the girls sat quietly on the floor pairing mommy stuffed animals with baby ones, then giving them "all the baby things they need" (read: dollhouse furniture). Meanwhile, for about two hours straight, John rode a red riding toy in wild circles throughout the house: you can see him careening around the corner in the background of the above photo.

I think the humor of babies in adult glasses never gets old.

So happy, even with her many wounds!

Mary trying to juggle with one ball: note the bandages on her forearms.

John really enjoyed walking the dog around the yard.

Juggling gone awry

As I watched Chris give Mary a ride on the riding lawn mower for entertainment,
I realized that we really have become Southerners.

Grandmom with Joseph

Cousin Annie with Joseph:
Hard to believe she was an itty bitty flower girl in my wedding and now she is an elegant young lady.

Tuesday in Atlanta

Before our arrival, Grandmom and Pop-Pops (temporarily) converted their garage to a play and school room! They even laid down new carpet. So generous a gift to us!

The play and school room

I planned and packed up our school for the week and placed it in a bin with all the items to be loaded in the van. But the movers arrived Monday morning and efficiently moved away all the furniture for refinishing the floors. They also moved all my items to be loaded in the car. Some I noticed right away and retrieved--like the bin of road snacks--but some I didn't notice till it was too late and we were in Atlanta--like the school bin!

I thought of Bl. Mother Theresa of Calcutta teaching her first students in the ghetto using a stick in the dirt: Surely I could come up with school on the fly! I did my best, but the week got busy and school ended up mostly being reading them literature and letting them do some great Preschool and Kindergarten workbooks Grandmom had bought.

Four sweeties

Our drama of the day was the latest injury of who do you ask? Mary, good guess!

Earlier in the day, I had supervised the children riding bicycles on the parking pad and driveway. I noticed that John was skilled enough to manage his bike down the long and very steep driveway, but not Mary so I instructed her that she wasn't allowed to ride her bike down the driveway. Later in the afternoon, the children went back outside to ride bikes in the cul-de-sac with two neighborhood children. There were four adults supervising, two of whom stood guard at the top of the driveway, which descends very steeply and at length to the parking pad below. But accidents can happen even in the best of circumstances.

Little Mary was riding in circles around the cul-de-sac when she busted through the safety guards and began peddling with all her might down the driveway (as if she weren't going fast enough already from her momentum around the cul-de-sac). Chris was quite shaken up to watch his sweet girl start to wobble on her bike and he knew disaster was imminent but there was no way he could rush to save her. We thanked her guardian angel that she didn't crash into one of the cars parked at the bottom.

Mary ditched her bike (wearing her helmet) and got fairly deep scrapes on both knees and swaths of road rash on her two forearms, one ankle, one shoulder, and one palm of her hand. I got my first lesson in serious bandaging, having never before needed more than a simple Band-Aid.

Atlanta in May

Our old floors are being refinished, so we had to clear out!

The floors may not have been refinished in 30 years.

Picking the stain color

From their perch, watching the woodworkers arrive

One normally 3.5-hour drive 

+ 4 children 

= 5 stops + 6 accidents from newly potty training toddler + 6.25 hours in the car

Everyone napped but no one at the same time, so the volume was high.

Most of the ride, John was perky and awake, chatting at us continually about all the subjects he knows.

But at the end of the ride, he finally finally fell asleep!

Margaret Kicked the Diaper Habit

If Margaret (26 months tomorrow!) had been my first child, I would think I was a Really Good Parent and, specifically, excellent at potty training. This would have been terrible for my pride and my soul, so I thank God that he didn't give me darling Margaret first.

She was not my first so I know her mostly charming and docile personality is hers to claim and the fact that potty training has gone so easily is in large part due to her.

She was obviously ready to be done with diapers six weeks before Joseph was born, but I couldn't manage potty training when I was so big and cumbersome. I tried briefly about six weeks after the baby was born, but I couldn't manage it then either because the baby still needed to be held all the time. This week I realized that, at four months old, Joseph is happily set down much more often, freeing up my hands, and we happened to have an entire week with nothing on the calendar: I grabbed my opportunity!

Two wonderful aspects this go-round: For some reason, Margaret has the agility already to do all her own undressing and dressing, getting up and down from the Regular Potty (she has skipped the toddler potty because she wants to be like one of the gang), and all steps of washing her hands. Also, I now have the frequent and cheerful help of the big sister whom I potty trained a mere two years ago! Mary is my super helper, escorting Margaret to the potty when I am nursing, cooking, or otherwise in the midst of something. I had heard of this from other mothers of older children, but it was like a dream, something I couldn't even imagine. Just think, in a kid or two more, I can probably assign one of my older children to potty train the toddler!

Day 1: I took away diapers cold turkey. Margaret had many accidents. I offered her a chocolate chip for each time she used the potty. At first she didn't care for the reward, so I began giving all the kids a chocolate chip for pottying and immediately she wanted to be part of the group.

Day 2: A few accidents, but many successes.

Day 3: Margaret stayed dry all her waking hours in the day!!! She wore a diaper for nap and overnight, but that's totally okay with me at this stage. I am still doing most of the initiating to use the potty, but I'm only having her do potty checks every two to three hours. In my experience, the learning toddler will start out with me doing all the initiating and slowly transition to initiating more and more herself till I only have to require potty checks before we leave the house for an outing (which I hear mothers still need to require for years and years . . .).

Day 4: Dry all day, even when we went on an hour-long outing in the neighborhood (although it did involve walking, not sitting in a car seat--I have found sitting in car seats to trigger accidents in potty training toddlers).

Day 5: Survived her first outing (to a store, two hours out of the house) and had only one accident (on another three-hour outing, when she was sitting in the car seat).

Day 6: Had one accident. Stayed dry during nap time for first time ever (not even my current goal). Then stayed dry overnight!

Day 7: Had one accident, but stayed dry during three outings! Forgot all day to ask for a chocolate reward, so I stopped offering them. Also, she began skipping the step of telling me she had to go potty and began taking herself to the potty and doing everything on her own.

So, I'm calling this one folks! It may be early, she's still learning, but this one is potty trained! Thanks almost entirely to Margaret, just a little bit to Mama, we can say sayonara diapers!

Laundry Ideas

The other day I realized that I'm pretty good at managing laundry. Because I am surrounded by so many loving and efficient families with many more children than our four, I think of ours as a "beginner family." But I can hearken back to when I would have thought four children's laundry was overwhelming, an impossible amount to manage. My how perspectives change!

My husband and I were talking about domestic tasks and him trying to get me to relax a little bit more, to do less domestic work: Trying to convince me, he said, "You know, other people have a lot more laundry crises than we do," his point being that I could afford to do less laundry. Of course, I interpreted it as, "Exactly! We don't have laundry crises, it's actually something I do well!"

Please don't ask me to write a blog post about meal planning or cooking unless you want to read the litany of my failings. But about laundry, I can open up the discussion!

I am writing from the perspective of a mother whose children are all still too young to be of real help with doing laundry. This is quite different than the mother who has numerous helper-age children. My eldest, John, is six-and-a-half, so I plan to teach him to do laundry basically starting now. I'd like to hear from more experienced mothers about when they began teaching laundry skills and how they did it. My plan is:

1. to have John start shadowing me, but I think he will "get it" so rapidly that 
2. I plan to transition to me shadowing him: just standing with him, watching him do it, and speaking up if he makes a mistake. 
3. And then I will hand off some portion laundry to him entirely! (I think I will first put him in charge of towels.)
1. Question: How do you divide up laundry responsibilities? Some mothers have the child responsible for his own laundry (or his plus a younger sibling's laundry). There is merit in making the child responsible for his own self. The risk is that the child doesn't do his laundry and then has a laundry crisis: no clean clothing when his parents want him neat and clean. Also, there won't be enough dirty laundry to create dark versus light loads, and I'd rather not mix the clothing, which causes increased wear and tear on the outfits. Another risk I see (the one most problematic to me) is promoting the idea that one is responsible only for one's own messes, as opposed to assigning the child "to do laundry on Wednesdays," for example, which promotes that we are all in this together, working for the good of the family. Thoughts?

But back to the family with children too young to help.

First of all, the children can begin "helping" as soon as they can toddle. Toddlers just love to pick lint from the lint screen or be handed one clean, wet item at a time to toss in the dryer. Plus, by bringing the children with you to do a laundry task together, that is one less opportunity for an unsupervised child to get into mischief. Right now my 4- and 6-year-olds transfer laundry as a team, with one sitting on top of the washer, pulling out the wet items, handing them to the other child standing on the ground, who tosses them into the dryer.

How Much Are You Washing?

I have observed that families with big families usually start to dramatically reduce the number of outfits each person owns. A single person needs more outfits in the closet unless that person wants to be doing tiny loads of laundry every couple of days. But a family with many members does laundry basically daily (more on that later!), so only needs even as few as several outfits. I know one mother who gives her children two play outfits and one Mass outfit, and laundry is done every two days, so they're never short of clothing. Do the clothes wear out faster? Sure, they last one season, but kids grow out of outfits so fast that this streamlined approach works for her.

The outfits of my four-year-old girl, excluding a couple that were in the hamper that day, 
and the underclothing and a couple of nightgowns in the bureau.

I have more clothing for babies and toddlers because they get messy--very messy--every day and sometimes need outfit changes. I have fewer outfits for children ages three and up because they learn how to be neat(er). I am still at the stage at which I will change my child's outfit if it gets grimy during a day but I've heard what I consider perfectly legitimate practices in bigger families of mine: unless we're going somewhere where we need to be neat, then you can stay in your grimy outfit today instead of giving us more laundry to do.

I also have more outfits than I think needful because we receive some beautiful hand-me-downs from the cousins. Plus I like to sew, so that creates new outfits. But really, Jesus told us that anyone who has two shirts should give one away to the poor (Luke 3:11), so clearly I have work to do in this area!

Bins of clothing in the girls' closet

At this point in my parenting, I am keeping outfits to hand down to future children. Some parents choose not to keep clothing, even if they're having a big family, and I've come to see their logic too. For now--because I receive some really high-quality hand-me-downs and because I invest so much time in ferreting out modest clothing choices--I keep and limit myself to one bin of clothing per gender per size (e.g., Girl Size 3, includes both winter and summer clothing). In the girls' closet I keep the two bins of sizes which each girl is growing out of and into (e.g., size 2 and 3), and the same goes for the boys' closet. All the other bins are in the attic. If we are blessed with more children, I won't have the closet space to keep so many bins in the closets, so they will all go in the attic.

How Often Are You Washing?

One theme I see consistently in home management books (e.g., "Home Comforts" by Cheryl Mendelson, "Large Family Logistics" by Kim Brenneman) is that a large family needs to be washing laundry daily (except Sundays for us Christians!) in order to avoid laundry crises.

Some mothers set a goal. The author of "Large Family Logistics" writes that she aims for "four by four": four loads of laundry daily completed by four o'clock.

Around here, what I find currently works is a rotation: wash darks one day (2-3 loads), lights the next day (1 load), linens the next day (1-2 loads), repeat for the next three days, don't do laundry on Sundays. I also have a hamper in the downstairs laundry room where I toss the many rags I use to wipe faces, counters, dishes, and spills, and this I wash on an as-needed basis several times per week.

I have had numerous friends talk to me about their laundry crises and then explain that they're on the go so much that they're not home to do the laundry. That is a conundrum! Even in the homeschooling world, there are mothers who are very home-focused and mothers who sign up the children for a lot of activities. Right now, I am one of those home-focused mothers, but I could see that changing as my children are older.

Where Are Your Hampers?

Because I am the person who does laundry, I keep all the hampers in one place: the upstairs landing, accessible from all the bedrooms.

If one day I switch to having individual members wash their own laundry, they will have individual hampers in their bedrooms. But for this stage, I think it's fraught with laundry crises to allow young children to have hampers in their rooms. I can always glance at my hampers and know just how full they are: I lose this knowledge if children keep hampers hidden away in their rooms.

And how does one get the children to put dirty clothing--and only dirty clothing--in said hamper? Well, you tell me, more experienced moms! At the ages of my children, I still have to remind them every single night and "inspect what I expect" (as the author of "Large Family Logistics" says). Otherwise clothing builds up on the floor, which is Where Everything Belongs according to little people. I still have the children show me their clothing so I can say what is clean enough to go back in the drawers: I don't know when children become old enough, with teaching, to make this judgment call themselves. I know one mother who charges her children a fine ($1 per item, I think) for putting clean clothing into the hamper because it wastes her labor and the family's economic resources of soap and water.

When Do You Do the Laundry?

Personally, I fold the laundry as it comes out of the dryer. I won't take a load out of the laundry until I have the five minutes (that's all it takes!) to fold a load. This keeps me from getting overwhelmed with a monster pile of laundry to fold at the end of the day--when I'd rather be relaxing and getting off these tired dogs of mine! Another benefit is that doing laundry and folding it too when children are awake allows them to learn this skill and to participate in supporting the family. If I do all my cleaning when they are asleep, which in one sense would be much easier, I am denying them that opportunity and I am allowing them to become lazy, ready only to be served instead of to serve others.

Why am I so insistent on folding laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer? Because the iron and I are not exactly friends! I iron clothing once or twice a year. I knew it was bad when my husband came to me recently and asked, "Honey, do you know where the clothing iron is?" and he pronounced it like "clo-th-ing i-ron" as if speaking to someone for whom English is a second language . . . or to a wife who never picks up the iron! So, fold the fresh laundry and you won't have to iron, that's what I say!

So, I toss in my first load of laundry in the morning, either when I wake or after breakfast and dressing. It's early. Each time I come downstairs from the schooling either to take a toddler to the potty, change a baby's diaper, or serve snack time, I take that transition moment to switch laundry or fold a load.

The exception to my general laundry-in-the-daytime rule is for cloth diapers. When I am using cloth diapers, I wash the diapers every two to three days at night after the children are asleep. This allows me to wash all the cloth diapers at once, including my fabulous wet/dry bags, while not having any newly created wet or dirty diapers collecting during the process. Then when the baby wakes in the morning, his or her clean cloth diapers are awaiting her.

I know some women like to fold laundry all at once during the evening while watching TV, but that just doesn't work for me.

Where Do You Fold the Laundry?

We don't currently use our dining table in the formal dining room except on special occasions, so I fold laundry there throughout the day. Each person has his or her own stack of clothing and each carries up his or her own stack after dinner upon walking up for the bedtime routine. Someone else carries for the baby and toddler. John puts away his own clothing. I thought Mary (not yet 4-1/2) was too young to hang her own dresses so I've been doing it for her, but last week she got into a "little mommy" mood and hung all her own clothing perfectly. So, now I know better!

If we come to use our dining table for eating or schooling more often, I will have to revisit where I fold clothing, since I certainly hope not to have to climb the stairs several times per day to fold clothing in the bedrooms--but then I'd probably be thinner and more fit!

* * * * *

Some of my readers might think I'm a total nut for writing at length about laundry. I share this only because I've had numerous mothers inquire how I do laundry and I know that I've inquired the same of many mothers! It's a topic that always seems to enjoy lively discussion when it comes up in a group of mothers, so I think it must be of interest to our cohort anyway.

Please add any tips or experiences in the comments!

One Lovely Day

Some days homeschooling and raising four children ages six and under is so challenging that I reach deep inside to use all my virtues (which I hope are ever increasing) and I still fail (and fail and fail again). Other days are just glorious and I realize how much I will miss these days when they are gone. Days like today are so lovely that I shudder to think about when I won't have little ones around me.

John has finished most of his school texts for the year, so I am coming up with new work for him to do, just to fill about an hour of school work each morning in order to keep our structure. In a few weeks, we will officially end his Kindergarten year. After his school time, we have the whole day ahead of us! The weather is glorious and springy, not hot or muggy yet.

This morning we went for a walk to "the circle," which is the cul-de-sac a few houses down the street. I was reminded of the first walk I went on with more than one mobile child: John was likely three-and-a-half and Mary eighteen months, and I was Tense with a capital T! I was so distressed at them being outside of my immediate control and safety, the two of them walking on their own and almost assuredly to be mowed down by a car, I was a barking, shrieking, shouting mess as we took our not-so-pleasant walk around the block. What the passers-by must have thought of me! I came home a shaking mess.

Now I can take three kiddos on a walk plus wear the baby on my back and feel quite relaxed! Let's hope the trend continues.

I pushed Margaret in the stroller and you can see John and Mary far ahead on their bikes.

The cul-de-sac is wonderful because there is a giant woodsy "island" in the middle. I stand at the neck of the cul-de-sac and the children have free reign of quite a large area, which gives them a grand sense of freedom.

The two-year-old feeling independent as she zooms around the cul-de-sac,
seemingly so far away from Mommy but really entirely guarded.

After lunch and Quiet Time, we enjoyed our afternoon snack on a picnic blanket in the back yard: herbal iced tea with homemade pumpkin muffins topped with a dollop of whipped cream. We read "My Father's Dragon" while eating and then the children swang on swings, climbed ropes, and tromped in the woods.

This is my life! I get to live it! How blessed am I?

I was sitting in a comfortable lawn chair, reading a book, holding my sweet baby, when Mary ran up to me beaming with the announcement, "I've found something that hops!"

The first frog discovered in our yard in the five years we've lived here: Is it a Pine Woods Treefrog (Hyla femoralis)?

Sharing the amphibian

I thought that Mary had deposited the frog back on the plant where she found him, so I was talking to my neighbor over the fence, when I glanced back and saw suspicious activity. Upon questioning (read: shouting and running across the yard), Mary defended herself, "I'm just giving him a bath!"

Yes, folks, she was giving him a bath in our cups of iced tea. 

We hope the frog was none the worse for wear and we set him free again.

* * * * * 

The day even ended well! At 5:30 as I was washing dishes from dinner (yes, we eat early!), Margaret (25 months) approached me and announced, "Mama, I'm tired."

Turning off the water . . . "What did you say?"

"I'm tired."

"Well, do you want to go to bed?"

"Yes."

You don't have to ask this mama twice! The children have been way off their sleep routines for six weeks now due to a month of illness, then travel to the grandparents, then having workers in the house doing renovations. Last night Margaret cried for an hour and a half at bedtime (yes, despite our comforting her), which was so dreadful that today I assigned Mary to play with her during Quiet Time instead of allowing Margaret to nap. My plan worked to tire her out and Margaret was sound asleep by 6:00 p.m., taking an entire five quiet minutes to fall asleep. How dreamy!

* * * * *

As I was thinking back on this wonderful day and I felt so utterly relaxed, I thought that nothing bad must have happened, no challenges, a seemingly "magical" day. Then I remembered there were at least a couple of tantrums, one extended, several time-outs, numerous sibling fights including two which ended in one hitting the other with a projectile, today was Day 4 of full-time potty training Margaret (and you know how demanding that is!), and I was kept hopping most of the day, seeming to sit down only to have yet another child need me moments later. Yet on this day, I handled it calmly and charitably all day long. On other days I react with stress, tears, and anger. What is the difference? And how can I have more days when I react like I did on this day and not the way I do on the rough days? That is the question!

Angel of God

I do not take nearly enough advantage of the fact that little children are sponges when it comes to absorbing information they hear repeatedly. Margaret (25 months) hears us pray the Angel of God prayer once each night at bedside and once each morning at the breakfast table. In the last week, she began praying it herself in its entirety--and many times per day, the cute little thing!

Angel of God, my Guardian Dear, to whom God's love commits me here, ever this night be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen.

Joseph at Four Months Old

Joseph is four months old today! He weighs about fifteen and a half pounds, which is two-and-a-half times his birth weight. He nurses like a champ and shows no signs of that first month of exclusive bottle-feeding.

I think his eyes are darkening up like Chris' and John's.

Given that Joseph was born at 37 weeks, I was not surprised to look at those oh-so specific milestone charts and see that he acts a bit more like a three-month-old than a four-month-old. He smiles often, and we're waiting to hear giggles any day. He now actively engages me, trying to "flirt" with me to get me to pick him up, which I love to do!

He seems to have his own look, which isn't as much like John as I first thought.

Joseph has discovered his hands, is reaching for objects, and can hold a light object if I put it in his hands. He has begun babbling. He is highly tolerant of being held and carried by his siblings, and I think he probably likes it.

So far, Joseph is a really calm baby. He is my first not to develop "colic" (or whatever it was) which caused the first three babies to scream inconsolably for three to five hours nightly for months. It has been such a dream not to go through that again. Joseph hangs out, watches, smiles. He cries when we're in the car, making it four for four on our babies hating the car. But other than that I've seen him act oh-so-slightly crabby a total of two times: after he had his tongue tie clipped and during the last couple days when he's had his first illness.

Joseph is our precious boy and it's unanimous that we love him!

Abby Johnson: "I Am No Better Than Kermit Gosnell"

I do not often copy-and-paste an entire article onto this blog, but I do when I think its message is very important.

I have followed the Kermit Gosnell trial (which required effort given the almost complete silence from mainstream media). I watched the one-hour FOX television special documenting his decades of practice--a show that was enough to give a person nightmares. I have read numerous articles. I know just how revolting his behavior was, I know that most of the pro-choice world wants to think that his was a big exception as far as clinics go, but it wasn't. I suspect some of misplaced horror: do they really think a baby killed in this way moments after being born has any less awareness or ability to feel pain than the babies killed that way every day moments before being born? Gosnell may have broken the letter of the law but he certainly didn't break the spirit of the law. And I know that those not outraged by  his behavior would be if he had treated cats and dogs the way he treated babies.

With all I know, I know Gosnell deserves our prayers, and I couldn't say it better than Abby Johnson does below. Her words are the same reason that when I was driving down the road and heard the news that Dr. George Tiller had been murdered, I burst into tears and began praying what I pray several times each night during the Rosary:

"O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, and lead all souls to heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy."

I draw attention to the fact that Our Lady herself at Fatima, Portugal, requested we pray the above prayer and Gosnell's sentence was handed down on May 13, the feast of Our Lady at Fatima.

Source of article: click here

Abby Johnson: I Am No Better Than Kermit Gosnell, Pray for Him

by Abby Johnson | LifeNews.com | 5/14/13 3:09 PM

I am vehemently against the death penalty. Now stay with me…this is not a post about my opinion regarding that. You can disagree or agree with me on that some other time. I did want to share a little bit about why I take the words of prolifers so seriously. I have heard so much vitriol spewed from the mouths of “Christian prolifers” since the Gosnell trial has concluded. I feel like I must address it.

When I was confirmed as a Catholic, I chose Mary Magdalene as my confirmation saint. I felt an immediate connection to her. She had sinned so much…and was forgiven in even greater amounts. She knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness…but she received it anyway. And because of this, she clung to Christ. She knew she was nothing without Him.

I have also done my fair share of sinning. And I have also been forgiven much more than I deserve. I abused and betrayed women in the worst possible way. I convinced them to kill their children. Did I slit the necks of children after they were born? No. But, I was an accomplice to murder. Thousands of times…women I knew, women I didn’t, my friends, even my family. I lied to people. I lied to women when they came to me for accurate information. I was among the worst sinners…those that help to take and destroy life. I am no better than Kermit Gosnell.

I took my own children’s lives…twice. Not because I was coerced. Not because I didn’t know better. But because I thought children would be an inconvenience to my lifestyle. I am responsible for their deaths…no one else.

So when someone talks about Gosnell and says things like, “murderers and people like him don’t deserve to breathe the same air as I do,” or “I hope he burns in hell,” it hurts a little. Because that was me. But I am still here…breathing that same air…and trying to spend my life righting my wrongs. And it’s not just me. I know they hurt others like me, as well. People who have left the abortion industry and will work every day to recover from their sins. People who are still in the industry and think they will be shunned by the pro-life movement…maybe they would reach out to us if they knew we would accept them. I am always terrified that clinic workers will see some of the words from prolifers. I have been told by several former workers that they will NEVER come forward with their stories because they are so scared of how they will be treated by us…by US…the supposed “Christian” movement. Their fears are real AND legitimate.

I know some will say, “but you repented, that is the difference.” But what if I hadn’t…not yet. What if I was still inside the abortion industry? What if I was still an accomplice to murder? What if it took me longer to realize the truth? Do I deserve to die? Are we saying repentance is about our timing? Certainly, it is not about us. It about God and His perfect timing.

Right now, I shouldn’t be in this movement. I should be the COO of the 4th largest revenue generating Planned Parenthood affiliate in the country. I should be overseeing the largest abortion facility in the Western Hemisphere. I should be making 6 times the amount of money that I make in the pro-life movement. But I’m not. Why? Because of forgiveness. Because of mercy. Because of grace. Because of God. And because of REAL pro-lifers. The people I turned to accepted me for me…baggage and all. They knew that I was a broken person, and they loved me anyway. They knew I needed significant healing, and they helped to provide it.

I remember one story in particular which always makes me tear up when I think about it. One of the ladies, Karen, that immediately befriended me after I left Planned Parenthood was asked a question by a reporter. He asked her, “So, what was Abby like before she became pro-life? I mean, how nasty was she?” Karen’s answer was so genuine, and so Christ-like. She simply said, “I don’t remember that person. She is a new creation in Christ. I won’t talk about her past, I only want to talk about her future.” Wow. What grace. What forgiveness. She could have really spilled the beans on me, but she chose not to. Why? Because she truly loved me…and she always had, even while I was working at Planned Parenthood. She always believed the best in me, always believed that my conversion would happen.

It was Christ who changed me. It was the merciful and compassionate words of His people. It was no condemnation. It was not prayers that I would burn in hell. It was not those who yelled and called me names. It was the words of people like Karen. Those who prayed that I would, one day, walk out of that clinic. Those who had constant faith…even when that faith was a struggle to have. I am here because of THEM and because of their Christ-like witness.

Don’t we want that for every abortion clinic worker and abortion provider? Don’t we want that for Kermit Gosnell? I smile every time I imagine his conversion. What a heavenly victory that will be! Can it happen? If you say no, then you do not know the God that I do. My God is in the business of miracles. And my God does not want anyone to suffer in hell. He wants ALL of his children to come to him…yes, even those of us “monsters” that are in or have been in the abortion industry.

Hate comes from hell. Mercy comes from Christ. When we have hate in our hearts, our spirits are damaged. Be careful with your words. Not only are you a living witness of Christ and His truth, but you could put your own soul at risk. “Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him.” 1 John 3:15 When we hate, we are no better than those who kill.

I am not the sweetest person. I’m not the one who catches all the flies with honey…sometimes I am all vinegar. What do you expect? You expect the most tender hearted to work in the abortion industry? Maybe we aren’t like all of you. Maybe we aren’t the most kind-hearted. Maybe you don’t understand how we could do what we have done. But those of us that leave…we are fighters. We are willing to take hits for our former sins. We are willing to stand up in places that are uncomfortable. We are willing to be bruised by others because we know that we have to…we know that will be the price we pay…it just hurts more when the bruises come from those who should be rejoicing in our repentance. We are passionate. We don’t waste time beating around the bush…not when it comes to life…especially the lives that we helped take.

Those of us that have worked in the industry all live our lives with a constant burden. One that will not be free from us until we reach heaven. We can’t let our burden slide off of our shoulders…it is what keeps us on fire. It reminds us of why we fight so hard. We have seen death and evil in a way that most haven’t…and we participated. We are forgiven.

So, should I be able to “breathe the same air as you?” That’s not really up to me to decide. But if you say things like that, know that a small piece of our heart is broken, and I have to believe that it grieves Christ. But even if you break our hearts, we forgive you. Even if you bruise us, we forgive you. He who has been forgiven much, loves much. And we love a lot. I am eagerly awaiting the day when I can call Kermit Gosnell a former and REPENTANT abortion provider.

LifeNews Note: Abby Johnson is a former Planned Parenthood abortion clinic manager, who has become a pro-life advocate.

A Contrast in Quiet Time Activities

Today during Quiet Time, I passed by Mary in her bedroom and saw she had set up a tea time at which she informed me Pink Cat and her baby kitten and Doggie and her baby rhinoceros were eating pink cake.

Then I popped in to check on John having Quiet Time in the Bonus Room and found that he'd set up a battle between the Narnians (see Aslan at the forefront?) and the Calormenes.