SUNDAYOn this day, our family felt so many graces poured upon us, as if we were flanked by powerful angels.
Our Joseph (7) just received his First Holy Communion last Sunday and I expended too much energy stressing out and being crabby toward family members for two weeks preparing for the sacrament. I never could have guessed that our family would be experiencing another sacrament just seven days later--one for which I wouldn't have any time to get stressed about the pomp and circumstance--no reception, no cake to order, no suit to prepare, no gifts. But God knew.
We learned definitively at mid-morning that Thomas did, indeed, qualify for an Emergency Confirmation. In the Latin Rite of the Catholic Church, Confirmation is one of the seven sacraments and, while Canon law directs it to be given "at the age of reason," it is delayed in this country until around age 14. The Catechism of the Catholic Church defines Confirmation thus: "Baptism, the Eucharist, and the sacrament of Confirmation together constitute the "sacraments of Christian initiation," whose unity must be safeguarded. It must be explained to the faithful that the reception of the sacrament of Confirmation is necessary for the completion of baptismal grace.89 For "by the sacrament of Confirmation, [the baptized] are more perfectly bound to the Church and are enriched with a special strength of the Holy Spirit. Hence they are, as true witnesses of Christ, more strictly obliged to spread and defend the faith by word and deed." (paragraph 1285)
Thomas qualifies to receive Confirmation due to his cancer diagnosis. "As a general rule, Roman Catholic children in danger of death due to sickness or injury should receive the Sacrament of Confirmation (Canons 889 § 2, 891) (Read more interesting information here: http://www.canonlaw.info/a_childrenindanger.htm)
The ceremony held in the priest's sacristy was so beautiful. Thomas was so short and his confirmation sponsor Daniel so tall that Daniel could hardly reach down to touch his right shoulder as he needed to do throughout. Thomas stood docile and attentive, and at one point reached out to hold his Daddy's hand to comfort him when Daddy was crying. You can watch the video here.
Thomas' Confirmation name is Benedict Jude.
Our family received so many gifts of love this weekend. The Body of Christ is coming together in such a powerful way! Three meals have been delivered to us before even our two-week meal chain already full (and we have wonderful friends and neighbors who want to sign up for meals once we know Thomas' chemotherapy treatment plan). One neighbor I've never met dropped off fresh scones and explained that her two siblings survived childhood cancer, so this was an issue close to her heart. We were showered with many relics of saints today, many of them first class, for long-term loan during Thomas' treatment plan:
- St. Rita,
- St. Philomena,
- St. Theresa of Avila,
- St. Mortin de Porres,
- St. Catherine de Ricci,
- St. Therese of the Child Jesus,
- St. Ann and Joachim,
- Relic of true Cross,
- Crypta Lactis B. Mariae Vin Bethlehem,
- Crypta Nativitatis D.N.J.C. in Bethlehem,
- St. Peregrine Laziosi,
- Stone from Apparation cave of St. Michael the Archangel in Monte Gargano, Italy,
- Cloth touched to bone of St. Hildegard,
- "Sacro Speco" grotto of St. Benedict in Subiaco, Italy,
- And very personally touching, a relic (hair) from our dear friends' baby who was born alive and baptized at 26 weeks before passing: Saint N., pray for us!
One kind gentleman who has a true mission from God I have met one time about five months ago and he drove two hours to bring relics to Thomas. We were given Lourdes water and St. Philomena oil. We were given two beautiful art prints of our lady, a drawing of a spiritual bouquet by children, a Benedictine cross, and a sweet, quiet soul--even quieter than me!--gave Thomas a hand-knit duck whom he has named Ducky and says he is going to bring to his CT scan. His siblings gave him a beautiful drawing, a crucifix, a rosary, a tiny box filled with metal angels, and five whole dollars (!). Two priests that I know of said their Mass for Thomas today, a whole convent is praying for him, and I think hundreds of people are dedicated their family rosaries for him. And here I was worried so stupidly about how my son would have his one-and-only Confirmation and not receive any gifts.
One neighbor mailed a package for me I needed to ship and another neighbor has agreed to come to our house tomorrow when the repairman comes (yes, our freezer broke on Friday, in the midst of all this, and our food melted). I am learning how to accept help, my Achilles heal.
Back at home after a restaurant celebration, we went swimming. I had ordered Mr. Rogers' book "Going to the Hospital" and it arrived, so I read it to Tom for the first time: he loved it and hung on every word, then invited his siblings to sit with him to learn. (You can hear it read aloud here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lRnPct-USo) Also, I had my first phone call with J.G., who is a mother of a son who was diagnosed with a Wilms tumor two years ago and is now cancer-free. We had good discussion and will talk again soon.
During bedtime, I had the most treasured conversations with Thomas. First, he had gone to his room early and cleaned it up (which he never does)--"because that is holy, Mama"--and set out some of his new Confirmation gifts in a display, "to help me learn how to be holy." He told me, "It is important for me to be holy because I'm a soldier for Christ now" (what Catholics consider to be the effect of Confirmation). Also, when Joseph (7) wanted to play with Thomas' Ducky, instead of Thomas shouting or hitting him (which would be more typical, honestly!), Thomas said to me, "Mama, I'm going to let people play with Ducky and my toys, as long as they ask me, because that is sharing and sharing is holy."
Joseph then asked me why Daddy had been crying during Thomas' Confirmation and before I could come up with an answer, Thomas calmly and confidently explained, "Because I might die." I was stunned, as neither Chris nor I, and nobody in our family, has spoken those words anywhere aloud, let alone around Tom. I asked him with faux calm, "Why would you say that?"
"Because if the lump in my belly grows too large, I would die. That's why the doctor is going to use scissors or something to make a little hole and take it out."
I decided to roll with it since Thomas was leading the conversation so peacefully. "It won't grow too large, honey, because the doctor is going to take it out. He's going to give you a medicine to make you sleep so you won't feel any ouchies. Then you will wake up and the lump will be gone! But that's not tomorrow: tomorrow is just the picture of your belly."
Joseph, who had no idea his brother is facing surgery started yelling questions, "What? What are doctors going to do to Thomas?!" I told him that Thomas explained it pretty well!
After this weekend, our schedule is cleared for the week. I've cancelled everything. I've done all the laundry early so the baskets are empty. We don't know what lies ahead, but God does and he loves Thomas more than we ever could, even though we cannot truly fathom that.
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