Shifting the Breakfast Time

I find that as a family who homeschools and has, so far, experienced a new baby joining our ranks every couple of years, a routine is extremely useful but also that the routine shifts and adapts often. With children at different ages, continually growing, with new babies coming along, what works for any given homeschooling family changes!

For some years, I've been wanting to change our morning routine to delaying breakfast and instituting the routine that we don't come to the table until we're dressed for the day. But in earlier years, this presented more problems than I thought it would solve. For example, when all I had was a four-year-old, a toddler, and a newborn, they all woke at different times. No way was I going to wake up any given one or two children just because the baby woke up. And I was (am) exhausted from night wakings, so I was going to take any chance I could get on any given day to sleep in past 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. Additionally, it wasn't like I would have success with instructing a toddler or preschooler, "When you wake up, be sure to get dressed before you come downstairs to find me." So, we continued with our morning routine.

But the family grows and evolves, needs shift, and now I believe delaying breakfast will solve more problems than it creates, so I've done a one-week experiment of moving breakfast. I think it is going great!

Around 6:00 a.m.: Mama wakes up and sneaks downstairs, waking as few children as possible. Mama's goals are to drink one cup of coffee and one glass of water plus do her holy reading and check her email briefly before starting her exercise.

Children wander down as they wake up. If the baby didn't come down with me, I have to be the one to go get him as none of the children are old enough to carry him down stairs yet.

Problem: Children might be hungry. Solution: Children are allowed something very small--like a glass of milk or a (small) bowl of cereal and milk--which they can get by themselves upon waking.

Problem: My 45 minutes of morning exercise was causing me to start our school day later and later. Plus I don't relish coming to the breakfast table in my sweaty exercise clothing. Solution: By starting exercise by 6:30 or so, I am finished by 7:30-7:45 a.m.

Problem: I can use the television as a babysitter for the other children, but not for the baby. He would wander about the room, and keep crawling into my exercise machine (dangerous). If I put him in a Pak-N-Play, he would scream and had not become accustomed to it. Solution: Joseph is accustomed to his high-chair, so I started putting him in that, facing the TV. It's an awful sight for this mama to behold, but he will sit there long enough for me to exercise! (And right now, my exercising is a major family priority.) Problem: The cartoons I was letting the older children watch weren't keeping Joseph staring quietly at the screen (read: hypnotized), and often Margaret would lose her attention span and wander to find me. Turns out I was letting them watch increasingly 'big kid' cartoons because they are getting older. Solution: I told the big kids that they are old enough to occupy themselves, it is the littlest ones for whom I need an electronic babysitter. So, we're back to baby cartoons! Turns out Joseph and Margaret love 'Signing Times' and 'Barney' . . . and, despite loud protests, evidence shows that certain five- and seven-year-olds happily sit through 'Barney' also rather than go find something else to do.

One baby mesmerized

After exercising, now I tell the kids that we are going to get dressed, make beds, and brush teeth before eating breakfast. Problem: All these years, I was having us do those chores after breakfast. The kids had no motivation to start our school day, so 'getting ready' was taking about an hour. Inefficient and wasteful! Solution: By using hunger as motivation, it turns out that all five of us can be ready in 20-25 minutes! (Now, that is a 'simple get-ready,' meaning nothing' fancy, no makeup or nice hair do on my part, but we're ready for our school morning at home, which is what counts.)

Then we go to the breakfast table. Problem: I am a short-order cook for the breakfast meal (and I well know it). With kids waking at various times and my serving them various foods, I was 'slinging hash' in the kitchen for an hour and it was a mess! Not streamlined at all. Solution: By having us all sit down at the same time--even with my making somewhat various plates for them--we are eating together (family unity) and I'm only standing and cooking for about a half hour. Problem: When the kids starting eating at differing times, they finished eating at different times, and then would wander away. This meant they weren't helping clean up, and it meant they were playing in different areas of the house unsupervised, leading to mischief, messes, and meanness. Solution: Because we now end breakfast together, I can get their help cleaning up. We move immediately to school time--back to 9:00 or earlier, which is my goal--so there is no chance for mischief, messes, or meanness.

Then we go up to the bonus room to start our school day. Problem: When we were eating breakfast upon waking, very early (usually before 7:00 a.m.), the children got hungry for a snack during mid-morning. That would be one more interruption to school time, as well as one more mess that either got cleaned up by me (more time away from school) or didn't get cleaned up (leaving yucky mess all over). Solution: By eating breakfast later (around 8:30), their tummies can last until lunch at 11:30, meaning we do not have to interrupt school for a snack. (The nursing baby can get a 'snack' anytime, and I would make an exception for a young toddler whose tummy couldn't quite last three hours.) A related problem was that some people wake up hungry immediately while some people have tummies who don't wake up for an hour or two. So, for example, John would eat a big breakfast and hardly need any snack till lunch. But Mary would barely pick at her breakfast, but then want a big, hot-cooked 'snack.' It was all out of sync. Solution: By allowing a tiny snack upon waking, everyone is really hungry by breakfast time, so they all eat a big breakfast and can last until lunch.

Maybe all this seems so naive and obvious to some mothers, but perhaps my readers will remember that I grew up with only one sibling and going to school-school, so this is all new to me. I came into marriage with many accomplishments, but domestic skills were not one of them. I still remember my first night alone in my apartment as a 17-year-old, having to call home and ask how to heat up food since I didn't own a microwave yet. Culinary arts are still not my strength, but . . . 'she's come a long way, baby!'