Summer Catechesis 2014

Warning, soap box ahead . . .

This was the week of Summer Catechesis--the name our parish uses for what is more commonly known as Vacation Bible School among Protestant churches. This was John's second year (he having participated when he was five, but not when six) and Mary's first year. Mary (5), of a different personality, leapt up and down, asking, "Do I get to go this year? Away? I get to go away?!"

Our children enjoyed the week very much. They raved about the music and dancing, arts and crafts, snacks, and play time with other children. I know many of the parent volunteers personally and have great respect for their homeschooling careers. The material taught at camp was orthodox and the mothers who ran camp were extremely generous with their time and energy.

We parents, however? Chris and I saw plenty of difficulties arise from our kids spending 15 hours in one week away from the family and our preference for a homeschooling lifestyle was reaffirmed. A lot of startling behavior came home this week that I believe can be attributed to increased peer attachments and strained familial attachments (see "Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers": one of the most important books we've read in seven years). More often than not, I watch my three children help each other, be supportive, be cheerleaders. By the end of this week of the children being divided into and defined by age groups, I'd seen a marked rise in segregation and mean insults from #1 to #2 and from #2 to #3 about being younger. I watched guilelessness vanishing before my eyes in just five days. (I don't see this behavior arise from all our other wholesome activities that comprise children from babies to high-schoolers without age segregation and with parents present: Latin choir, playing at the farm on Tuesdays, Shakespeare rehearsals, Fine Arts Wednesdays, co-op on Fridays. We make a great effort to socialize and expand our horizons.)

But didn't a week at "Catholic camp" increase the children's faith and make them stronger Catholics? Everything taught was orthodox--I made sure of that ahead of time plus I trust and continue to trust the mother-teachers I knew deeply--but the kids' behavior at family prayer time dropped considerably. Suddenly a Morning Offering or Family Rosary or bedtime prayers was a cause of much hilarity, wildness, and goofball behavior that couldn't be reigned in with mild reminders. Was that because I wasn't having them jump up and down and shout during Rosary? Or playing Protestant praise-and-worship music as a background theme to tap their primitive emotions during prayer time? Or making everything Catholic into a game?

Surely they missed their mother what with a little break away? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? No, their respect for me and obedience dropped noticeably: my corrections were ignored and eyes were rolled at me in reply. There was a new, insolent tone in their voices. Maybe some mothers of children five and seven think that is normal or even mild, but I don't!

Well, perhaps these were small, temporary prices to pay for my having a well-deserved break this week? A mother's respite counts for something too. But no . . . first of all, see my experience "going back in time" to caring for just a toddler and preschooler. Second, this week confirmed for us why we do not enroll our children in any kind of preschool or mother's morning out. The week's routine completely threw the littler ones for a loop, denying them their nap times (so they had only brief car naps at odd times all week), and keeping them strapped in their car seats for at least two hours per day: more than 10 hours in car seats in order to buy their siblings 15 hours of camp. There just wasn't enough time in between dropping off the children at 9:00 and picking them up at noon to do anything of consequence or relaxing. So, what to do to occupy two littles every morning, off routine and out of the house? I came up with different plans each day. The end result was two little kids very cranky and crabby (we're talking long, long stretches of screaming), not having the peace, order, and hours of physical movement they need each day.

All of this is to say (to the two or three people still reading this long!) is that one can teach Catholic material (any material) with perfect orthodoxy, but Chris and I are confirmed in our preference--particularly for these tender years--in a family-centered, home-educating lifestyle without long periods of separation or encouragement of peer attachment. If we could live on an old-fashioned farm, that kind of lifestyle would come naturally, but we don't so we have to artificially create and protect such a lifestyle.

So, next on our agenda is to rebuild some family connections between parents and children and among the children themselves until we see warmth, attachment, and encouragement of all of us to the others!