I had every intention of not posting to our blog on this subject, but I've changed my mind, inspired by a homily I heard last Sunday.
Over a week ago, I participated in the Face the Truth campaign as it came to our city. That means that I stood on street corners holding a five-foot-tall sign showing a graphic abortion photo. I promise my readers, I am not telling you this to sound like a really good pro-lifer and I hope I don't come across as sanctimonious. I was willing to face the condemnation of strangers by standing with a sign, but not the opinion of people who actually know and love me yet don't agree with my actions, which is why I planned not to post this to our blog.
However, it is such a useful ministry, in my opinion--it was the seed of how I converted to being pro-life seven years ago!--that I want to encourage anyone who desires to participate to do so. Many of my pro-life friends who knew what I was doing commented on how "brave" I was and I want to explain that I was extremely fearful, but anyone can overcome that if she wants to.
A homily last weekend by Fr. Frank Pavone, National Director of Priests for Life and Pastoral Director of Rachel's Vineyard, inspired me not to be so hidden about my participation. Fr. Pavone happened to be in town for the Right to Life annual conference. On Thursday he stepped away from the conference to hold signs with us downtown during the lunch hour as hundreds of executives walked past us. I was scared out of my mind in the week ahead, knowing I would do something so bold and that strangers would make hand gestures at me and shout mean things. The morning of, I was so scared I felt nauseated and was shaking for hours. It certainly helped me that Fr. Pavone happened to be there--he who has a reputation to lose and whom I've heard faces death threats and travels with body guards--standing quietly with us.
Because he was in town, Father celebrated Mass at a local parish and gave a wonderful homily. He made several excellent points. One was that we should never be ashamed of our pro-life efforts. How often do people say, "Of course I am pro-life, and I would never get an abortion, but I'm not going to tell someone else what she has to do, I'm not going to get involved with her business"? Yet people don't say that about child abuse or violent crime. "I would never abuse a child. Personally, I think it's wrong. But I won't tell someone else what to do with their child." Or, "I'm a religious person so I couldn't bring myself to commit a violent crime. But I'm not about to push my religious values on someone else." Nobody thinks it overbearing to stand up for the victims of violent crime or child abuse. Most of us look with sorrowful admiration on the mother of Emmet Till who demanded that his murdered body be placed in an open casket to give an image to the black Civil Right's movement. How different is it to show people the actual results of abortion: If they are in such support, then what is the problem with seeing it?
I attended two of the three events with Face the Truth, standing on pavement for an hour and a half at each session, wearing Mary on my front, wearing a backpack on my back, in the 90-degree weather (and later the rainy 90-degree weather). (As an aside, Mary was fine and happy. She had sunscreen and a hat and I stood beneath a shady tree each time. When she needed to nurse, I sat Indian style on the ground right there.) I was grateful to have the opportunity to participate, as my station in life allows less involvement in any pro-life activities than I'd like. I can do these things only because I have Chris' full support, as my going out "to the lines" means he stays home with John. I know that I will be involved only cyclically: Right now I have a portable baby and I feel great, but within months, Mary will be too old to be easily portable and too young for me to leave her for long, and at some point (God willing) I'll be debilitated by pregnancy for another better part of a year.
If I can overcome my mounting fear for weeks, I want to encourage anyone else who so desires that you can do this too! What's the worst that will happen to you? You might throw up with fear and have strangers yell at you: but you standing there with that sign might prevent even one baby from being killed. And perhaps my loved ones now think I am even more of a nutjob than they thought before, but I feel that someday when I stand before God I have to be able to say that I did something to try to protect the innocents.
Dearest Katherine, I love you, and I am so proud of you! You made a courageous decision to so proudly stand in the pro-life lines. In order to fight this evil that exists in our land we must cross that threshold of comfort. I have experienced great confliction; not for the reasons you expressed, but for the doubt in whether this protest will make a difference. I feared de-sensitizing people against this societal abhoration! After reading your journal, I now understand the importance of making the effort. Without the commitment of prolife activists, there is clear assurance that the abortion will take place. The situation can only improve! Thank you for writing so eloquently about your struggle and the internal conflict with people who criticize. May God help those whom you are trying to help, and God Bless you for your love of the innocents! Dottie
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, wonderful woman, wonderful cause.
ReplyDeleteKatherine, that was so beautifully written. We did a one hour silent prayer vigil in the Lawrenceville Square last October, and it was our family's first time. I felt many of the same emotions you described. My kids were 11, 8, 4 and 1 at the time, and I found it difficult to explain (age-appropriately) to the two oldest why we were there, what we hoped to accomplish and answer their sometimes too-deep questions. I remember praying that we wouldn't get anything thrown at us or worse; I truly had no idea what to expect. We had to explain why some people found it necessary to give us rude hand gestures and shout foul language (and laugh) as they sped by.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I hate that the kids got to see the ugly side of this issue, it was so worth it as a parent to be able to explain to my kids why we needed to pray extra hard for those people who weren't very nice - they're part of the reason we were out there. It was a humbling experience. There were plenty of people who slowed down to tell us, "Thank you," but those got overshadowed by the not so nice people. Again, it was a teaching opportunity like no other, and it was worth every second of uncertainty. I pray that we are able to make a difference.
Thanks for the encouraging words, ladies!
ReplyDeleteEnid: How was your experience with your four-year-old? That's an age I'd be especially worried about. Chris and I just don't know at what age past babies we're comfortable having our children at certain events, although I see so many children raised coming out their with there parents and it's a beautiful thing.
I've been praying peacefully out at various clinics about once per month, but at those events I do not hold a graphic sign.
We didn't have graphic signs. I think they said things like, "Pray for an end to abortion," "Life: The first inalienable right," or "Abortion kills babies." Things like that. My 4 yo was good; she stayed by me and sometimes held my hand. My husband took turns walking with her while holding his sign. Some friends of ours had their 2 yo in a two-seater wagon, and she was thrilled to get in and ride with him for a bit. Honestly? I'm not sure how we lucked out that day. I don't think I would have been as comfortable having them there if it had been too graphic. It did help that they were all able to hold their own sign. Lots of little things, but they all helped.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing, Katherine. You articulated something that I often struggle with myself: "I was willing to face the condemnation of strangers by standing with a sign, but not the opinion of people who actually know and love me yet don't agree with my actions"
ReplyDeleteSo I can imagine that perhaps posting to the blog perhaps took as much courage as holding the sign itself. Sometimes our friends and family can seem like the most treacherous mission field!