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December 21, 2020, written by Mama
Overnight Thomas vomited at least 80 mL of blood, which leaves us shaken.
All day, Thomas had occasionally let out one cough followed by a big yawn, which are actually signs of withdrawal, so quite anticipated. It was 1:15 in the morning when I heard him cough four times in about two minutes. I got up to get our nurse, who had closed the room door in an effort to be considerate so I could get better sleep, but it meant he couldn't hear Thomas coughing. The nurse suctioned Thomas's mouth and got nothing.
I crawled back in bed only to hear a pretty big cough. I decided to request the nurse leave our door open so he could hear these sounds for himself, so I stood up and witnessed as Thomas began vomiting bright red blood.
I feel like Wile E. Coyote who keeps trying again, but keeps getting hit in the face with a cast iron frying pan--except that it's not funny. How many times do we fix a problem? How many times do we willfully embrace cautious hope? How many times is this followed by frightening challenges?
Thomas vomited what the nurse estimated to be about 20 mL of blood onto his bedding (but I swear, I don't see how it was that little: I watched it happening versus seeing it after it had soaked into sheets). A nurse immediately flushed his probably clogged NG tube and instantly 50 mL of blood whooshed out into the receptacle. They checked his J Tube and were able to draw out 10 mL of blood. The people who know these things say that the blood appeared to be fresh venous blood, but not arterial blood (worse). In reassuring news, this does not appear to be surgical bleeding: his drain outputs remain minimal, his blood labs appear sound, and his heart rate and blood pressure remain rock solid.
The going hypothesis is that the NG tube rubbed a spot open in his GI tract. Unfortunately, we must leave the NG tube in place because of other risks to Thomas and our needing a way to watch those risks and suction when necessary.
Of course, the team can feel reassured, but this Mama is terrified that this is the beginning of the cascade that began exactly this same way before: gastritis revealing itself via vomiting blood leading to necrotic organ death. I've asked how we can tell the difference.
The team reassures me that they are "watching this like a hawk." And speaking of the team, I am having to entirely trust the system right now because this is Christmas week, so my regular surgeons are on their own days off and I'm meeting some strangers who know Thomas only on paper. We will be watching Thomas's NG output which, thankyouJesus, came to a halt after the acute event. We will be watching labs, heart rate, and blood pressure. ("Labs don't lie.") Unfortunately, there are no good scans that reveal blood and, with Thomas's newly reconstructed anatomy, an endoscopy would be "very high risk," and something they would be averse to doing.
They've doubled his Protonix (stomach-protecting medicine). We watch. I cry.
So, I ask for your prayers on this December 21st.
- Today is the feast day of St. Thomas the Apostle, one of our Thomas's patron saints.
- Also, today is the conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn for the first time in 800 years. Many are calling this the "Christmas star" and it is brightening our sky on the darkest day of the year, the Winter Solstice.
- Please, we beg, let it be God's will that this is the end of our darkest times and the dawn of confident hope and strong healing for our Thomas.
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| Photo by Mary (12) of the Great Conjunction, 12/21/20 |
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