Day 26: Resting

Copied and back-posted from our CaringBridge site for permanent record here.

December 13, 2020, 3:00 p.m., written by Mama

Today is a day of much-needed distraction, mental rest, and napping because the mental strain is becoming tremendous.

 Miss Hailey from Child Life gave me Christmas lights to hang up in our PICU room a whole week or two ago, but I was not yet ready to put them up, I realized because I could not commit to the idea that Thomas would still be here on December 25. This morning, I woke up and put up the lights as I drank my morning coffee.

Upon waking this morning, I almost called home to tell the family it was St. Lucy's feast day, which we have always celebrated with the traditional waffles, lussekatter (cinnamon rolls), coffee and hot cocoa, the girls dressed up as St. Lucy with her crown, and with driving to view Christmas lights (Lucy is associated with candles/light). I decided not to remind them because it was just sad that no celebration would occur. However, later I learned that one child remembered and gave Daddy the idea to serve waffles, so he went and picked up a whole ton of Waffles from Waffle House to eat at home. It may not look like St. Lucy's days of yore, but it warmed my heart so much that our tradition was remembered!

This morning, the children got to enter a gingerbread contest! Our neighborhood Women's Club is hosting a gingerbread house contest, all the children entering using the same kits. Our nanny supervised the children making their houses on Friday and today Daddy escorted them over to turn them in for the contest. They've had so much fun.

Tonight will be Luminaries for Thomas in our neighborhood. I think it will be so sparkly and beautiful: perfect for St. Lucy's night!

I did receive a call today from a certain 7-year-old of mine asking permission to read The Hobbit. To explain, in our house, I have pre-read almost everything, I make notes on the inside of book covers about any mature content and what ages I think would be appropriate to read, and I manage the library of 5,000+ books. In our home, the kids have an understanding to ask my permission before reading books new to them. Literature may be classic, but that does not mean any given book is appropriate for any given age. And in a move that completely warms my heart, even the oldest of the kids will come to me and say he or she is desiring to read a new book, here's what he feels like reading, what would I advise, and we walk around the house, looking at shelves, conferring on the decision. You know, I seriously considered pursuing a Master's in Library Science so I could be a librarian: I guess I am able to do that in my own tiny way! Anyway, here I am, worrying so much about all the lost homeschooling education currently happening as the formality of our homeschool has been like a ship dashed against the rocks in a gale. I've worried particularly about Joseph's learning how to read coming to a complete standstill in second grade when it should be launching. It turns out, he has advanced so much in reading just from his own personal perusing of books during my absence (weeks of chemo, now weeks in PICU) that he is able to read The Hobbit! My educator's heart loves that so much.

At lunch time, I did another first: I trusted the nurses to watch Thomas and I walked myself downstairs to eat at a restaurant in the lobby. Joining me was my old friend, my 1960 paperback copy of To Kill a Mockingbird with its yellow pages and cover entirely missing.