Chemotherapy Yucky Feelings Commence

The yucky feelings from chemotherapy began on Sunday. We are told that children's chemotherapy is very different--in a better way!--than adult's chemotherapy experience, for which we are grateful. That said, we are also told that he will start feeling yucky as the chemotherapy kills the fast-growing cells: both the cancer and healthy cells like bone marrow, hair follicles, and intestinal lining.

Thomas is telling me he is tired and that he does not want to go outside, despite my encouragement. I set him up with painting and other quiet activities.

We had thought Thomas would still be in the hospital over Independence Day and, honestly, were just too busy/overwhelmed to go buy fireworks (see, that would have been the kind of favor I should have asked of all you kind friends who keep offering to run errands for us!). Therefore, come Saturday night when we were all home on Independence Day, we had no fireworks and both Thomas (4) and Joseph (7) fell asleep crying about that. Cancer causes every age of family member to make sacrifices and learn through suffering, and, for a tiny tot, having no fireworks is a real suffering.

So you know the next morning that I asked Chris to swing by the grocery store and buy us some fireworks! Thomas was exceedingly tired and nauseated by dinner time (did not even eat), so we set off our fireworks quite early in broad daylight, allowing Thomas to get to bed ASAP. He felt too queasy to go outside, so he asked to watch quietly from the upstairs window.

At the very end of our little display, he expressed interest to go outside and hold a sparkler, so we managed that sweetness before he fell asleep.

Again he asked to sleep in Mama's arms, now with a vomit bowl ready next to him, which is hard for Mama to see and think about. He is on anti-emetics, but they are not a magical panacea. When I feel sad, I envision the cancerous cells are dying and shrinking away from Thomas's abdominal arteries.

In other news, John (13) had "nothing better to do," so he found scrap wood and carved himself his own hockey stick for a spare hockey blade he owned. It really works and we think it is so neat! He continues to be on his recreational ice hockey league two nights per week and plays roller blade hockey by himself every morning.