We have been absent from our family blog for one month
exactly as our son Thomas was diagnosed with cancer. We were publishing over at
CaringBridge (https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/thomaslauer/), but
are now going to try to bring the two together seamlessly in order to continue
the family blog I have written for 14 years. This blog post is copied from
CaringBridge and is being published retroactively. Please subscribe to our
family blog to receive updates as I publish!
The overnight was tough for Thomas because the opioid he was on makes a person very nauseated if not taken with food, but Thomas wouldn't eat, so he kept vomiting, and refused even more strongly to eat, and the cycle continued. His last dose was at 10:00 p.m. and we decided to chance it and wake him only for his regular Advil dose and skip the opioid until morning. Still, I spent much of the night helping him with his vomiting and he asked me to sleep on the floor next to him--to which my answer is always going to be 'yes'. I felt fresh sorrow to watch him dry heaving and think about future chemotherapy.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:34)
This morning, I called the on-call surgical team and reached our very own surgeon himself, which was great. I'll spare all the nuances of the discussion but the surgeon agreed Thomas could stop the opioid cold turkey (having only been on it 48 hours) and switch straight to OTC meds. We did that and within an hour, Thomas's smile was back! He asked for a bagel with peanut butter and even managed to eat one-third of it! So far the combo of OTC meds is entirely keeping incision pain at bay. He still had a bit more vomiting throughout the day, but I think that is resolving.
Later Thomas came to the bottom of the stairs and climbed gleefully into my arms and I realized it was the first time I had been able to hold my boy in three days. What a treat for me! (He could gingerly walk around, but he wouldn't let me hold him for fear of incision pain.)
A neighbor I've never met dropped by with homemade meatballs (now frozen) to last us about four dinners. The pediatric oncology social worker (such a specialty exists) called me and did our case intake for about an hour and a half. She was lovely to talk to and she introduced many of the organizations and charitable foundations that are going to be helping us through this journey.
The home is in a tizzy. Everyone is off routine. We are living in a weird time warp in which it takes me hours to get breakfast on the table and I'm not quite cleaned up by lunch time and that cycle continues. Baskets of clean laundry are piling up. Yesterday I was so distracted that I hung up and folded an entire basket of the three little boys' laundry and at the very bottom of the basket realized it was a dirty load. I went back to retrieve all the put-away clothing to discover the pieces were indeed all covered in stuck-on food and grease, yet I hadn't seen any of it. In case readers are wondering, yes, siblings still fight and kids still disobey parents even when their sibling has cancer. We all continue to run the race toward holiness.
"Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset [us], and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of [our] faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Thomas had his first post-op bath tonight and it gave me such pleasure to wash his hair and make his precious body clean again.
May I end by offering you a beautiful and moving piano solo composed by one of Thomas's beloved babysitters (Mary Sue Brock) for him specifically? This song made Thomas smile so big . . . and made his mama teary! Click on this link and grab your Kleenex for listening.
"Dear friends, thank you for taking the time to listen to my song.
"This piano solo is a very special song of mine - a tribute to a very special boy. This darling 4-year-old has been recently diagnosed with cancer...
"This piano solo is a very special song of mine - a tribute to a very special boy. This darling 4-year-old has been recently diagnosed with cancer...
"I have composed this song to begin almost like a lullaby, a sweet tune for the sweet child, and then ringing with emotion in the middle before lapsing back into the gentle lullaby. The song is filled with beauty, gentleness, strength, and emotion, as well as joy in the knowledge that - no matter what the circumstance - we can always trust in God. I hope you will enjoy it.
"Please pray both for Thomas and for his family as they persevere through this trying time. Thank you."
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