Testing Day

We have been absent from our family blog for one month exactly as our son Thomas was diagnosed with cancer. We were publishing over at CaringBridge (https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/thomaslauer/), but are now going to try to bring the two together seamlessly in order to continue the family blog I have written for 14 years. This blog post is copied from CaringBridge and is being published retroactively.

Testing day went as smoothly as we could have envisioned possible. Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes.

Last night, I experienced a terrible and vivid dream: I dreamed that there was a lion and a lioness outside on our property in the dark. They were simultaneously beautiful (the way lions truly are) and terrifying. They padded around the home silently and I watched through the windows, knowing they were trying to get to Thomas. At one point, the lion pushed his way through the door and grabbed Thomas in his mouth and I was pulling back on my boy, trying to save him with all my might against this ferocious, strong lion. We fought in the doorway until I woke up and was awake for the rest of the night.

Aunt Courtney arrived late last night, so was here and on duty when we departed at 6:30 a.m. All the staff in the Nuclear Medicine Department were kind, so it was not even onerous that there was about a one-hour delay while the Maintenance Department came to fix the air conditioning in the procedure room. Thomas was patient, although hungry from fasting.

Our one flub-up was forgetting Thomas' stuffed animals. Even as I had tucked him in the prior night, I thought to myself, "Everything is packed and ready to go downstairs, except these animals: I can't forget them when Thomas wakes up in the morning!"

I was so glad we had two babysitters at the house because Aunt Courtney was able to jump into the car and drive Beary and Ducky to Thomas' waiting arms even before he went for his procedure.

We were surprised and thankful--under these COVID-19 restrictions--that both of us parents were allowed to stay with Thomas while he went under general anesthesia. He was totally calm and did not cry.

But after he slipped out of consciousness, his Mama cried a little!

We waited in the Family Waiting Room for 3 hours while Thomas underwent a 90-minute MIBG scan and bone marrow aspiration. I think Chris and I were just very, very quiet. I finally succumbed to sleep for awhile.

I read some of Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence, which I've read so many times over 15 years that its pages are worn, but this time my mind was such a jumble that I mostly could not make sense of the words on the page. Numerous holy friends have told me that there will be times during this crisis that I find myself unable to pray but not to feel overly distressed at that and to know that there is an army praying for me and my whole family at this time.

https://www.amazon.com/Trustful-Surrender-Divine-Providence-Happiness/dp/0895552167/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3UVOE9PHTXZTV&dchild=1&keywords=trustful+surrender+to+divine+providence&qid=1591904521&s=books&sprefix=trustful+surre%2Caps%2C202&sr=1-1

We were so relieved to be called back to the recovery room. Thomas napped peacefully for another half hour or so with us sitting bedside and then woke up calmly, with none of the delirium common to tots, and no vomiting. After some juice and a snack, we went home!

I had realized that today was the Feast of Corpus Christi, but I had not realized it was the sixth anniversary of the death of Fr. Kenneth Walker. Several friends had mentioned they are praying for his intercession, so this felt very meaningful to me that his death anniversary was the same as our testing day.

Fr. Walker, please pray for Thomas!

https://fssp.com/letter-of-the-superior-general-regarding-the-death-of-rev-kenneth-walker-fssp/

https://www.catholicsun.org/2017/04/07/slain-priests-killer-sentenced-to-life-in-prison/

I came home to Aunt Courtney and V., a new babysitter who offered to help us out: this is such a blessing so that I'm not calling only and exclusively on the same beloved babysitter sibling-team we've always used. We have gone out on social events so rarely that it was okay that we only used one babysitter, but we anticipate much need for babysitting in the months to come.

So, we came home to these two wonderful babysitting ladies, children who were fed, a spotless house, and they had baked a cake and set up decorations for the Feast of Corpus Christi. Also, V. had been reading The Life of Christ by Fulton Sheen to the older kids for an hour and they were so enthralled by it that they asked me if we could order it--and then did order it on Amazon within 30 seconds of my saying yes.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0385132204/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Some of Thomas's test results will come in this week, some will come in next week.


My Gratitude List for Today

--a Mass being said for Tom
--a Mass being said at the Shrine of Our Lady of Lourdes in France and at the National Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows
--a prayer book and relic given to us by St. Matthew's parish
--the St. Jude statue that arrived for Tom today
--the family who made our meal tonight
--everything I'm sure I'm forgetting