As long as we're on the subject of achieving quiet (while homeschooling), would mothers like to weigh in on achieving quiet while driving?
Last week, I had a close call while driving (thank you, guardian angels!) which I attributed to the cacophony of noises in the van distracting me.
What is very typical is that two or three of the children are trying to talk to me simultaneously. I can barely hear the two little voices emanating from the third row of the van, what with the distance the road noise, and the whooshing of the air conditioner. A fight will likely break out because somebody looked at somebody else, or somebody interrupted the other one, or perhaps because one child saw a bunny/excavator/bird/sign/whatever that the other child didn't see. Meanwhile the baby is very probably screaming his lungs out because we are four-for-four on babies who hate the van.
Through all this, the one child whose car seat is closest to mine (so can be heard by me) is going on about centaurs and how strong a dwarf is and what the difference is between a bird's wing being pinioned or simply clipped--unceasingly until we reach out destination.
What is a mother to do?
I had just assumed that having children meant that car rides would be extremely loud and chaotic, basically forever. Last week, after my heart stopped racing from my near miss, it occurred to me that perhaps just like we taught John at two-and-a-half to stop kicking the back of the driver's seat, maybe we can start teaching the children as a group to be quiet (silent?!) in the car.
And is this one of the reasons why I've heard numerous homeschooling mothers say that they use their car time for schooling, such as playing audio CDs of world history, Latin to memorize, or the Baltimore Catechism? There is no point just adding to the volume by playing those CDs, so the mere practice implies that the children are silent and listening.
Have any of you successfully taught your children to be quiet, to not talk, while in the car? Or perhaps you've heard of a mythical mother who achieved this? How was it down? Advice?
I have no great advice on this other than I tell the kids they aren't allowed to talk to me. I have no real way of enforcing this. I have threatened and actually pulled over on the side of the road if the auditory conditions are unbearable. Sometimes I just ignore them if they don't listen to my "no talking to me" rule. Or I put up the music. Obviously, its still noisy but I can't stand the questions that I can barely hear from AAALLLLL the way back in the third seat.
ReplyDeleteWe have by no means perfected this, but here is what I've found helpful.
ReplyDeleteMy 6yr old can read. So in the pocket of the seat in front of him I have books for him. The two girls are in the back (4 and 2). In between their carseats I have a backpack with 'car stuff' for them to do/look at. We have CDs of Catholic songs that the kids sing a long with. And occasionally listen to audio books. We just listened to "King of the Golden City" again. When the children start trying to talk over the music, which happens frequently, they get a warning and then if it continues the music goes off for awhile. I have to add that we are in the car on Sundays for just over an hour each way for Mass. And these things really help with being in the car so long. Oh, and we have also done the Rosary in the car with each of the two older children leading a decade.
I don't have this problem. I mean there is occasional chit chat or questions. And every once in a while Anna will sing made up songs at the top of her lungs (we are all still singing her ditty of several months ago: Doggy dog, bump your head, doggy dog, bump your head...). But generally all is quite, the girls fall asleep and Ben is just quiet because he is. But I wonder if a change of seating might help?? I do not have Ben sitting next to Anna because she would bug the snot out of him. So he is in the back row and Beatrice and Anna in the middle. When new baby comes Beatrice will sit in the back with Ben because he is nurturing and loving to her....and Anna, when strapped in her seat, is harmless to a newborn. Only other suggestion..have you asked them to please save the chit chat for once you have arrived and unless there is an emergency to keep quiet. Also we always have music playing in the car and the kids enjoy the music. So that probably helps.
ReplyDeleteWhen my children were quite little, we listened to music in the car. We Sing America was one of our (ok, my) favorites. Once they were older we started listening to audio books. You should check out the Little House books on audio. They are so very good! I remember listening to Little House on the Prairie while taking a road trip to Houston. Everyone, my husband included, was caught up in the drama of Pa building the log house, digging the well, and trying to get his little family established on the plains.
ReplyDeleteI'm just amazed that you got John to stop kicking the seat. We've been working with Theo on that for three years, and he is simply unable to keep from swinging his feet (and thus kicking my seat). I finally moved him into the third row of the van because I couldn't stand it anymore!
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the ideas. Yes, we are big fans of audio books and audio short stories (e.g., the Holy Heroes CDs). We own many and keep a stash in the car. I also keep Magnadoodle pads in the car for little ones to draw. And we enjoy listening to the classical radio station. We also sometimes pray the rosary in the car, especially if it's after a restaurant outing for dinner, but I'll also have the children pray a decade as a consequence if they are bickering too much ("We are going to use our voices for something that God intended, not for fighting").
ReplyDeleteStill, my kids are SO LOUD ALL THE TIME. I think I just need a refresher course and actually voicing a simple rule like Priscilla's, "You are not allowed to talk to me while we are driving."
When John was kicking the driver's seat incessantly for probably a year, we finally realized we had to do a campaign of consequences that would happen instantly and every time he kicked: he stopped kicking within a week.
We are about to hop in the car for our 30 minute ride to church, and I expect quiet for one reason: audio books. We don't always have perfect quiet in the car, the boys talk and occasionally games get loud, but they do settle when asked and we listen to a lot of stories. Sunday mornings are reserved for our weekly Sparkle Story and it is everyone's favorite part of the day! I definitely support the idea of music, stories, catechism, etc. How about Holy Heroes?
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear everyone is safe after yesterday, and I have definitely been known to snap, "Be quiet!" in tense driving situations. I try to give them a heads up: "This is a busy area (tight parking lot, bad weather), everyone stay still," but you can't prepare for everything when driving. It's nerve wracking!
Gotta fly! Blessed Sunday!
Courtney: You know about all the best STUFF! I hadn't heard of Sparkle Stories. They look really neat.
ReplyDeleteYes, we are big fans of Holy Heroes and own most of their CDs.
I have perfected quiet in the car. I've never ever played kiddied CD music EVER (because ugh how boring for me)- so they got used to driving in the quiet. And just years and telling them to be quiet has resulted in them being quiet. They are also allowed to read in the car if they wish. Car rides (even long ones!) are not torture.
ReplyDeleteElaine: That is encouraging to hear. I have made much progress just this week. Turns out it seems that I likely never told the children, "You need to be quiet in the car. Silent. You may not talk to me right now so I can concentrate on driving." I've been doing that and it's been great except for the two-year-old singing along happily, and I can handle that.
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