Challenges Abound

This week was rough.

I could say a lot, but it isn't appropriate for various reasons. Our family is being hit through the many vulnerable areas of finances, transportation, health problems (numerous of us), and pragmatics of running the home. I'm brought to my knees in tears, left wondering how so many challenges could land in our laps in only seven days' time. 

All of this is allowed by God's providential will. (How can we know that? Because if we already believe in God, then we know that nothing could possibly happen without God's allowance, a butterfly could not so much as take a single breath if God did not allow it. Neither could the devil attack, as he did to Job, without God allowing that either. To believe otherwise is to believe that the devil is stronger than God.)

Our family is not alone in our struggles. I know of two men in my social circle facing terrible brain cancer, I know of so many children suffering through their cancer treatments, I know of tragic divorces, much substance abuse, and simply so much suffering.

The slings and arrows in my week will best be examined with the balm of time, but not now. Even if the words are sometimes sawdust in my mouth, I will try to remind myself that God knows the bigger picture; he knows the beginning, middle, and end; and he loves me and us.

In the meanwhile, sweet Thomas remains cheerful, excited, and inquisitive as ever. He requested I make a calendar counting down to his surgery. He understands what is happening and he is so excited to see all his hospital friends (meaning, adult staff, nurses, doctors).

One day this week, Thomas drew this picture triumphantly announcing past-tense that Thomas Had Cancer. The little figures above his head are God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Ghost. I noted cheerfully, "I can see your heart and all your blood!" He replied sagely, "I did not draw my stomach because I do not have one."

On the back, he wrote, "Thomas had cancer. Thomas had scans. Thomas had to stay in the hospital."

Since discharge from three days in the hospital, Thomas has been stable this week, for which we are incredibly grateful because every day is one day closer to him receiving a surgery he needs. While I don't wish any symptoms for our son, I am grateful to God for letting me see over the last couple of months that Thomas's surgeon has always been correct that he would need this next surgery, and thus removing my doubts. 

So, this week, while I felt like a little piece of seaweed getting whipped back and forth by the power of the ocean waves, I continued doing my mother's duties and trying to create room for fun and memories. Chris did the same.

The weather was lovely most of the time for playing out of doors . . . .

Mary (12) has begun nightly reading The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe to Thomas and David, who have never heard it before.

I could not believe my good fortune when all the children wanted to paint their pumpkins instead of carve them. We enjoyed a painting party followed by good, buttery, salty popcorn.

It was a week of four doctor's appointments (three of us had X rays this week!) and much back-and-forthing with the rental vehicle(s), as we are told our smashed vehicle won't even be looked at for a work estimate for three more weeks.

We capped off the week with John (14) attending a semi-formal, professionally called dance (folk music) for homeschoolers. They really had a wonderful and wholesome time. These dances are good opportunities for young adults to learn to dress well, to treat the opposite sex with respect and dignity, and to have a wholesome good time (versus an illicit, harmful good time, so common among teens).

Lastly, I have replenished my stack of Books to Distract Me at the hospital next week. I believe I have a variety to suit all moods. My "neck reading light" is charged and ready for reading during insomnia. For the bookworms who are curious, here is the stack:

• The Little GI Book: An Easily Digestible Guide to Understanding Gastroenterology (halfway through this already)
• A Special Mother is Born: Parents Share How God Called Them to the Extraordinary Vocation of Parenting a Special Needs Child (I own this book and already read it years ago, but when I saw it on my shelf, I knew its destined time in my life was now, not then. I've already begun reading it anew, but cannot read more than one chapter at a time and should not read it when I want to keep my makeup on.)
• Awakening at Lourdes: How an Unanswered Prayer Healed Our Family and Restored Our Faith
• Tell Your Children: The Truth About Marijuana, Mental Illness, and Violence (halfway through this heavy-statistic read already)
• Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage
• Be Brave in the Scared: How I Learned to Trust God during the Most Difficult Days of My Life
• What Really Happened In Wuhan: A Virus Like No Other, Countless Infections, Millions of Deaths (halfway through this already)
• Windows Into the Life of a Priest 

Now I plunge ahead into one of our busiest 72 hours each year with surgery prep thrown in just for good times! Ice skating and hockey . . . men's meeting . . . professional family photos . . . Mass + procession + girls' choir singing . . . trick or treating (our 6 kids will be assembling these secular costumes an hour ahead of time without my help) . . . two Halloween parties on two separate nights . . . All Saints' Day (again, the kiddos will be assembling the saint costumes last-minute without my involvement) . . . doing extra laundry . . . special cooking . . . placing a huge grocery order . . . packing for a week in the hospital.

I appreciate those friends who are running into the fire to support me right now (so I can support my family) . . . you know who you are.