{SQT} Grandmom, Requiescat in Pace

1. Losing a Wonderful Woman

This is a challenging Seven Quick Takes to write because our family had two weeks running parallel to each other, like people living in different worlds, with Chris and the three oldest in Atlanta as the family gathered for beloved Grandmom's final days on this earth. Their experience was a shadow over all our experiences at home, as we experienced the mundane, like a sick pet bird and very rambunctious little boys, while staying in close touch throughout the day with Chris, hearing about matters eternal from him. How does one reconcile it all? What if we lived every day with all its minutiae and frustrations knowing that every single second we are surrounded by eternally important life-and-death happenings?

Chris's mother Dorothy had contracted Wuhan Coronavirus during that very first serious wave, in early March, when our churches were shutting down, and all schools and activities were shutting down for the year. Unfortunately, she was of the age bracket and had the right pre-existing conditions that this virus (or even some mild illness) was very dangerous for her.  The two years prior for Dorothy were beset by several health crises, blood pressure spikes, and surgeries to remove major blockages in arteries.  This time when she contracted the virus was also so early that doctors did not yet know the best treatments. While she survived the initial illness, it took a huge toll on her body and she was never strong enough to come home from the long-term care hospital. After defying expectations by surviving more than one hospital-acquired infection, she acquired yet another infection and was too frail to fight it off.

We were called on Monday with the deeply sad news that Dottie was entering her final decline and family needed to gather quickly. I am so glad we had the freedom for Chris to go with our oldest three kids, for Dan to go with his three kids, and for Tim, one of his daughter's, and Mike to be there, too. The hospital did allow everyone to visit Grandmom in those final two days, after five and a half brutal and cruel months of her isolation. Her loyal husband Keith had started each day at 9:00 a.m. standing on his driveway with many of his neighbors standing on their driveways, all praying in unison for Dottie's healing. Then he ended each day by sitting outside of Dottie's window, in the blazing hot sun, whether she was awake or asleep, just so she knew she was loved. He was so consistent nightly for all those months that just recently the nursing staff had procured a canopy, a chair, and a fan plugged into an extension cord right outside Dottie's window to make Keith more comfortable.

All the family members were able to spend time with Dottie on Tuesday and Wednesday. About ten of the family gathered around Dottie to pray the Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet and then stayed with her while she breathed her last breaths during the hour of Divine Mercy (around three o'clock). I understand that our Margaret (9) was holding her hands when Grandmom passed away. There were so many tears shed in that room.

I hope you will all read Dottie's obituary available online here because she really was a remarkable woman. When I think back on it all, I think, how did she raise five boys in six years while her husband did four consecutive tours in Vietnam? I can barely do bedtime routine if my husband isn't here to help! How did she finish a college degree while her boys were in school? I can barely read a fiction book a month! How did she cook everything from scratch all those years and all the years I knew her? I pretty much consider myself a hero if I can make a meal of pasta, jar sauce, frozen meatballs, a frozen veggie, and frozen dinner rolls. How did she always have an open door and welcome invitation for guests--always?! My mother-in-law embodied great accomplishment with a kind heart.

Her funeral will be held next Wednesday.

Joseph (7) found Grandmom's photo on our wall, put a little note "heart Joe" tucked onto it, and placed a statuette of Our Lady atop the photo, then he shyly brought me over to see his handiwork, his little memorial.

2. Officially Back to School!

I will learn that I have no control whatsoever if it kills me, but in the meanwhile, I try to learn how to plan as if I know what to expect while being ready for the absolute unexpected.

I had set our first day of school as August 24, and then a few days prior was informed by the oncology clinic that they had moved Thomas's always-Thursday visit to Monday the 24th. I couldn't well start school while gone, so I lined up a babysitter and figured we would start Tuesday. Then the oncology clinic called me back and moved our visit to Tuesday--the only day the sitter could not come, so I found a new sitter for Tuesday and said we'd start school on Monday, as planned.

We got through just the Monday morning of school, lots of bumps and (to my shame) my raised voice, when we received the call in the afternoon that my good and dear mother-in-law was in fast decline: family needed to gather immediately.

Thus, Chris and the three oldest children departed first thing Tuesday morning and they did not have school for the rest of the week. Dottie's funeral will be next week, so the older children will not have school during the second week of school either. Therefore, I guess we are starting school the Tuesday after Labor Day, like when I was a kid . . . except that I will be at the hospital three of those four days while Thomas gets chemotherapy, soooooo . . . 

Aren't I glad I homeschool and signed up for extremely few online classes to constrain us?

Photos from the school week are below . . . 

I bought doughnut holes the night before and put them in individually decorated baggies at breakfast.

I am still 2 mm taller than my 13-year-old.

Thomas triumphant that he read some words

A friend shared publicly her YouTube play list of more than 100 classic children's books being read by regular folks--no animation involved. It is a great resource for David (3) when I'm teaching school. Click here to check it out!

Watching a play list of stories read aloud

Snuggling under blanket while I read aloud civics

3. Thomas's Clinic Day

Thomas experienced a short clinic day, his labs being good enough not to receive a blood transfusion, but he has not yet reached his nadir within this chemotherapy cycle. We were told to keep him home from social activity probably for another week, which is also why we did not go with Chris to Atlanta.

4. Clara to the Animal Hospital

I took Clara the finch to the veterinarian because she has what we learned was an inflamed gland on her back and she has plucked all the feathers from around it. Now I get to learn how to catch her once daily and give her a drop of medicine in her mouth. 

Oh my.

Maybe this will be easier than I think, given that I've become an expert at juggling complicated medication schedules and convincing a five-year-old boy to take medicine over these last months.

5. Miscellaneous Moments

It's still caterpillar week around here, with children collecting them by the dozens in the wagon . . .

Playing camping with the tent and all the kitchen equipment "eating our meal" . . . 

When you have the boys watch Leapfrog so you can work in the afternoon, only to discover they both fell deeply asleep so now they are going to be up Very Late at Night because of their illicit nap . . . 

And it happens over . . . 

. . . and over again!

6. Rosary Resources

Our family has been trying anew to make the nightly rosary more meaningful, so we have brought out yet again our trusty chart showing virtues for each mystery (click here, then follow the link through to St. Anne's Helper). We have also been taking turns with each person speaking a contemporaneous meditation telling what the mystery is about (actually explaining the crowning with thorns and how the virtue is tied to that event).

7. Bonus Reading

• This article explores how Franklin Templeton, an investment company, commissioned a Gallup research study to learn about Americans' perceptions about the Coronavirus, with an eye to better understanding the nation's economic recovery.  Poll shows huge number of Americans ignorant about COVID death rates. (Here is the original findings by Franklin Templeton: https://us.beyondbullsandbears.com/2020/07/28/on-my-mind-they-blinded-us-from-science/)
• Get on with your lives! Professor says as coronavirus 'not as deadly as first thought'
• CDC guidelines say wearing a mask during prolonged exposure to coronavirus won't prevent possible infection . . . and Tucker Carlson explaining the same thing (start at the 7:00 mark).
• The CDC (whom I trust more than local state authorities) just continues to confuse things. Now it says that healthy adults who have been exposed to COVID do not need to seek testing, just to self-quarantine. CDC reverses COVID-19 guidance, says testing may not be needed after exposure.
• In reality, “the science is so one-sided in supporting this result that it’s stronger than anything else I’ve ever studied in my entire career,” said Risch. “The evidence in favor of hydroxychloroquine benefit in high-risk patients treated early as outpatients is stronger than anything else I’ve ever studied.”  Yale prof: ‘Evidence overwhelming’ for fighting COVID with hydroxychloroquine

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