I'm so fatigued, my feet are dragging, my lids are sagging, and it's Sunday night. All I want to do is go to sleep, yet there is so much work to be done after the children go to sleep in order to be ready for our new week. I feel I am at best ever only one step ahead of all of them, or at worst several steps behind.
I'm trying to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Some day I won't have small artists' big messes left around the house to clean up and I will be sad.
Some day, I won't have a topsy turvy school room to neaten for our Monday Morning Start and I will yearn for years gone by.
Some day I won't have a milk order to put out in the milk box on the porch because I won't have a house full of children for whom to provide and I will miss it.
Some day I won't have crumbs to sweep and sticky ice cream from Sunday dessert to wash because my babies will be grown in homes of their own and I'll probably eat a tub of ice cream by myself because I'm missing them.
Some day I won't have to start loads of laundry overnight in order to keep up with the workload because I will be washing clothing for only my husband and myself and it will seem so paltry.
I don't know if this exercise actually makes me feel better, but I hear wise women advise us mothers in the trenches to replace our negative internal complaints with positive reminders of the blessings we have currently, so I am trying!
Before I read your blog just now, I was having dinner with my husband and the only 2 remaining of my 6 children and thinking about the advice I would give to mothers in the trenches. It seems so trite to say, "Don't blink! They'll be gone before you know it!" Alas, it is true. I remember being so overwhelmed by the noise and the mess and to-do list, unable to think or find a moment to myself. I wish I had had the wisdom that comes with all these years of experience, and then I would know that it really doesn't matter if the house is messy for a few months or a few years. What matters is loving them and training them in virtue to love and serve the Lord. If you have had fun with them, read with them, prayed with them, and hugged them (and fed them!), I would call that a successful day. I would also add prayers of thanksgiving to your positive thoughts for the incredible gifts you have been given. And remember: you still have a very young baby, and the older ones are learning many valuable lessons that aren't in books! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is such a good reminder. I so often find myself grumbling and frustrated at everything going on in my house, then I look at Emma and realize that at age 9, she's halfway to legal adulthood and our time together in our family home is finite. It really is hard to let go of my expectations, but I find when I do, things are more joyous. It's ME that needs to change, not my children.
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