Discouragement, Hope, and Sewing

I imagine that every station in life allows for plentiful opportunities to stumble, fail, be imperfect, and outright sin. I am personally acquainted with the opportunities that come from being a homeschooling mother of four-so-far: wife, mother, teacher, and home manager, 24/7. The number of times per day that these little children make innocent mistakes, lose their own tempers, throw tantrums, make messes, and spew bodily functions on the ground is only matched by the number of times I fail as a mother to respond with appropriate faith, hope, and love. 

Even if I that time respond outwardly in the best way possible--and that is a very good thing and result of extremely hard work--is my inner state one of peace, charity, and holy resignation?

So much patience is needed. Patience with them, patience with myself.

Thanks to clearance sales, I bought $90 worth of fabric and notions enough to sew six dresses and one pair of pajama pants--now that's a deal! I'll be working with corduroy for the first time and flannel for the second time.

The virtue of hope that we can get through this journey, this day, this moment is needed. 


From "Divine Intimacy" (Eighth Week After Pentacost, No. 249):

"We should never insult God by refusing to believe in His forgiveness; neither should we become discouraged because of the faults which escape us in spite of our good will. If we become discouraged it is because we are seeking perfection not for God's glory alone but for our own satisfaction as well, and also because we would prefer to find security in ourselves rather than to rely upon God alone. All this, in reality, is the result of subtle pride. Instead of becoming disturbed and irritated by our imperfections, we must acknowledge them humbly, present them to God as a sick man shows his wounds to his doctor, ask pardon, and then immediately renew our efforts with great confidence. We must learn to make use of our miseries and failings to plead our cause, to show God how much we need His help, and to increase our confidence in Him. Hope in God is the great anchor of salvation for our poor soul, tossed by the billows of human frailty." (emphasis mine)

When I feel helpless and out of control, I find a project over which I can take control, like cleaning the house, writing a list, or, as last night, sewing. I found an oddly shaped and small piece of scrap linen and some velvet notions my aunt had passed on to me when she was culling out her sewing supplies. While taking control of a project is a better coping mechanism than, say, taking to drink, it is less ideal than resting in my own weakness and falling into the arms of God.

Less than two hours later, I had made a size 5/6 girl's skirt of my own design. Sewing is really fun when one isn't afraid to make mistakes because the fabric was a free scrap anyway! I have a hope to sew much of Mary's winter wardrobe this year because (1) I have the fabric, (2) it is increasingly difficult for me to find clothing we like for her to wear, (3) it would result in her owning fewer clothing (which is good for her soul), (4) it would be a better use of my evening time than being on the Internet, and (5) the process would be good for my soul.