John seems to be entering a new phase of independence, as evidenced by one of his favorite new phrases: "I did it all by myself!" This is not a child who has desired much independence: he's always preferred my company, my help, my presence. I would try gently to lure and coax him to want to do things on his own, but the idea of being a "big boy" didn't attract him till really quite recently.
John is (finally?) starting to dress himself. He's enjoying showing me that he can do it, slowly but surely, even though he still asks me about each step: do I do the shirt first? one leg in each hole of the pants? the picture goes in front?
He has begun asking, "Can I help?" I try to say yes as often as I can! Tuesday I told him I had to go upstairs to make the beds and John asked if he could help. Then he added, "Do you need a Super Helper?" (like a super hero). Mama: "Yes, I do need a Super Helper! Do you know where I could find one?" John: "Right here!"
The flip side of John wanting to do things all by himself is that helping him is my new greatest leverage (threat). When I offer him a choice these days, the worst thing I can offer is that I'm going to carry him somewhere, or hold his hand and walk him somewhere, or take something out of his hand instead of letting him hand it to me.
I'm really enjoying this new phase!
I love how you're handling it. I found the best way to deal with the independence is to encourage it. Too many parents see it as a threat and it totally backfires and makes this age horrible. Like you, I quite enjoy it!
ReplyDeleteI love that independent stage. Emma pretty much reached it as soon as Jamie was born, and now she always exclaims, "NO! I can do it all myself!" She even feeds the dogs on her own now.
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit, sometimes it's hard for control freak me to just let her do things her way.