The Less Fortunate

I think God is preparing my heart for Lent or something because as of late I have been oppressed with feelings and sadness about those who have less than me. I hear echos of my mother telling me in childhood not to waste food because there were starving children in Ethiopia. And this morning John was doing his same old routine of asking for another cracker and cream cheese when he hadn't finished the first and I wouldn't give him another till he ate the first, telling him that it is naughty when he throws away good food because there are children who are hungry in their tummies and have no good food. On one hand I feel silly explaining such concepts to a two-year-old, but on the other hand I think that these things do plant seeds because John has excellent language skills and often shocks me by repeating back to me subjects he's been pondering since I explained something days or weeks earlier. So, my lectures about hungry children will continue! (Thanks, Mom!)

This morning we drove a van full of donations to two organizations. I give what I can first to Room at the Inn, a local Catholic maternity home, which will accept such things as clothing and all manner of baby gear. What they won't take, I deliver to the Goodwill. (Sadly, we don't have a St. Vincent de Paul Society in this city.) On our drive, John kept asking where we were going, so I kept telling the story of how there are mamas and babies in this world who don't have much money so the mamas can't buy clothes or blankies to keep their babies warm, and we have extra of those things, so we're giving some of ours to those mamas and babies. I tried to paint the verbal picture colorfully to make an impression on his preschooler's mind.

Last night when I'd been organizing the items, I'd felt overcome with emotion and I still do. For example, I donated away some more of my coats. I have an extensive collection of coats from my single, corporate days. I must have had some kind of obsession with having a coat for every occasion, every temperature, and in every color so I'd look beautiful. And now I'm a mom and I'm going to be pregnant or wearing a baby all the time probably for ten years, so I really only need a few warm-weather items. There are people actually too cold, right now as I type this, and I'm struggling to give away some expensive wool coats that are even too small for me. Seriously, Katherine? I gave some away, but I'm sitting here upset with myself because there are more in the closet that I don't need. Coats for only two adults in this family have our coat closet stuffed full and that is ridiculous.

And baby blankets! I had a huge collection of baby blankets, both given to us as gifts and hand-me-downs from so many family and friends who love us. I know it's nice to have enough baby blankets to get a woman through the early newborn days when the baby is spitting up on many blankets per day. I'm not saying that having more than one blue blanket and one pink blanket is a sin. But I was going through my collection of baby blankets and thinking how each one had different, nice attributes, different kinds of fabric, and different cute designs. Some blankets still had tags on them. And I struggled a little to give them away, but my mind was invaded by thoughts of mothers who can't keep their babies warm enough when they're out and about, or even at home because they don't have enough money to keep the house well heated, and I have a giant stack of blankets sitting idle in my closet. Seriously, Katherine? There are cold babies and you're hesitating? I gave away fifteen blankets and still have a plentiful stack for our future newborns (God willing).

There is no sin necessarily in financial abundance or comfort. For example, who is the Catholic Church supposed to turn for for donations to build churches (save souls) and take care of the physical needs of the poor if not people who have financial abundance? It's simply that sometimes I feel burdened worrying about others and it is hard for me to enjoy luxuries knowing the deprivations of others. I could eat that ice cream that costs $5 a bin (and I do--too often), and there's no sin in enjoying some ice cream, but $5 could provide a wholesome dinner to a family that has no food in its pantry.

I am reminded often of Ecclesiastes 5: 9-15, which I remember studying years ago in a Bible study and has floated around in my mind since then:


"The covetous man is never satisfied with money, and the lover of wealth reaps no fruit from it; so this too is vanity. Where there are great riches, there are also many to devour them. Of what use are they to the owner except to feast his eyes upon? Sleep is sweet to the laboring man, whether he eats little or much, but the rich man's abundance allows him no sleep. This is a grievous evil which I have seen under the sun: riches kept by their owner to his hurt. Should the riches be lost through some misfortune, he may have a son when he is without means. As he came forth from his mother's womb, so again shall he depart, naked as he came, having nothing from his labor that he can carry in his hand. This too is a grievous evil, that he goes just as he came. What then does it profit him to toil for wind?"


I know that God doesn't require us to drive the junkiest car we can, live in the smallest hovel, or wear the rattiest clothing. God doesn't want Communism. God sometimes gives blessing in the form of financial soundness, but he also asks us to use our blessings well, sometimes by passing them on. So today I have more organizing to do. I can think already of a giant cardboard box I have full of cold weather scarves in every color under the sun that I felt compelled to acquire over the years, yet almost never wear. I think one or two basic scarves would serve my neck just fine and other people could probably use the others.

And please know that this post is just to share my feelings as we enter the Lenten, then Christmas, seasons. I'm not a wonderful Christian practicing earthly detachment, giving just as many alms and donations as God would have me do. That I struggle with giving away beautiful belongings that are useless to me (except to fill my overstuffed closets) just shows how weak, covetous, and greedy I can be.