This ends a hustle bustle, and yet totally typical week of:
- Broadway Revue rehearsal
- Very Special mother-daughter overnight getaway
- 4 doctors' appointments
- 1 vet appointment
- Ice skating class
- Apologetics class
- Girls' choir
- Altar serving and Fraternus
- Hosting Quiz Bowl practice for teenagers
- Fidelis
- Voice lesson
- Barbershop visit
We Have a Date!
Thank you for your prayers. Thomas has an appointment and we'll be headed to Boston Children's Hospital in the middle of May.
Mother-Daughter Getaway
Mary (13) and I left the house for about 20 hours (who's counting? me!) for a special mother-daughter spend-the-night at a friend's home. In fact, the dad and son went camping specifically so we could have the whole house to ourselves! We had a lovely time. I cried too many times to count, but that was good, too.
Thomas and I have grown much in being able to separate from each other in the 11 months he's been home from the hospital, but it is still hard and rare. In advance of this absence, I taught him how to text me.
In my absence, Chris did a great job and the kids survived and thrived.
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| Building Legos with Daddy |
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| Building Legos with Daddy |
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| Daddy took them ice skating |
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| Daddy took them ice skating |
Visiting Family
On Sunday, we had the joy of a visit from Earl and Charlene, family from Buffalo. It was truly a wonderful afternoon and evening.
Puppy Photos
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| Tilly napping at the vet's office |
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| Joseph and Nicky |
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| Joseph and Nicky |
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| Nicky sleeps underneath my (messy) desk. |
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| Napping Tilly |
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| Thomas and Nicky |
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| Thomas and Nicky |
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| Tilly napping while Thomas does school |
Always Busy, Never Achieving
I have always tried never to be fake and certainly never duplicitous online. Occasionally my real life is encouraging to others, but mostly my real is just real. Not inspiring at all.
I can never catch up on all the necessary "special" projects (e.g., buying clothes for the kid who has almost none that fit in the closet), let alone even do my fundamental daily duties (e.g., keep up with housecleaning or laundry or meals or grocery shopping). Waking up at 5:00 a.m. isn't early enough. Working without pause isn't enough. I'm always multitasking in service to others and that isn't enough either. I'm talking about actual basics in the home that never get tended to, or are always exceptionally late.
I certainly am not doing any "extras" like scraping together time daily to improve my own health so I can stick around long enough to take care of my kids.
I tried very carefully to keep Lent simple this year because picking grand and too many goals dooms a person to failure. I chose only two things: one bad habit to give up and one good habit to do during Lent. So far, ten days into Lent, I have not succeeded in either change for even one day. All I can try to do positive is to be grateful to God for Lent because it reveals to me just how wretched a person I am. The light of truth is always good and proper.
I just don't get it. In my religious, homeschooling circle, having six kids is on the smaller side of things, yet women with more kids do more than me all the time. I'm not running a homeschool co-op. I'm not hosting people right, left, and center (and when I do, I serve delivery pizza). I'm not tutoring other kids or teaching theater to the homeschoolers. I'm not working a part-time or full-time job or even running a side business from home. I'm not training for a marathon. I do nothing exceptional and yet, the basics elude me every single day, and I go to bed knowing I have not met the needs of the souls assigned to me.
I've luxuriated for 30 unnecessary minutes on my weekly blog post, but now it's back to figuring out which things on the list I'll finish and which things unfinished will keep me awake with insomnia tonight.
But you are doing something exceptional---taking such good care of Thomas, who has exceptional medical needs, and you have done an amazing job guiding him and supporting him while making sure your children all feel loved and special. Raising children who care so much for each other is exceptional in our culture.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry; this is a very hard way to feel. "Why does everyone else seem to be able to do it all, and I just can't?" I struggle with this, too, and yet I have had the experience of other people feeling the same way about me (i.e. they think I do it all, and with ease!!!). Is this a case of, as the saying goes, comparing your "inside" to other people's "outside"? Don't discount all the good you do...
ReplyDeleteIt's funny because I homeschool and have ten children....but am amazed at how much you seem to accomplish. Not just with Thomas' exceptional needs but even with all the other amazing things your family does. When I feel overwhelmed, my husband tells me to focus on the next (best) thing that needs to be done....and that's all we can ever do. I hope you will go easy on yourself and rest in the Father's arms when you feel overwhelmed or not good enough.
ReplyDelete"why is everyone else able to do it all, and I just can't?" is something that I struggle with too (just turned 2 year old and a newborn here). You happen to be one of the people I think of that way - I see all you accomplish and am amazed and wonder how you manage it/why I'm drowning. Which is to say - you get A LOT done and are an inspiration. I'm sorry you have the feeling of everyone else gets more done.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I struggled with reading your blog for years, even though I love it!, because I kept feeling like, "Man. Her kids do eighty-eleven good and beautiful activities and are involved in everything and have so many talents" while I'm over here homeschooling eight unique and unrepeatable, but often VERY ordinary, souls. <3 Grass is always greener, and 'none of us will be awesome until Heaven', as my nine year old likes to remind us. ;)
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