Retreating

Today, the mama who doesn't leave her children is going on a silent spiritual retreat for three days.

I don't go on romantic vacations, I don't go with girlfriends for weekend getaways, I don't have Mothers' Morning Out. I probably manage coffee with a girlfriend once every few months. There is immoderation in that and I have yet to find the balance between devotion to a very challenging and time-consuming vocation and my becoming a resentful and burned-out martyr.

So, today I am heading two states away to a silent retreat for three days. The children's godmother is coming with me to help watch the baby (who is too young at 13 months for me to leave behind) so I can try to focus.

I accept any prayers for my ability to focus on this opportunity, as I am struggling much with letting go mentally of all my responsibilities, worries, and cares about the children and home. I had a friend provide me a meaningful  meditation: "Treat this like a business trip, just like your husband goes on. Barring an emergency at home, he can't do anything to help when he's gone but pray for you. He's doing his job. Now you have a job to do and that is to go on this retreat. Remember, you're not just a mother, you're a child of God."

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've thought of myself as anything other than a mother 24/7.

Treat myself? I can't do that. Escape for some fun? Not that either. But give me a job to do, I do jobs, I can do that!

So, I have prepared to leave as best I can.

All the laundry is washed.

The meal plan is created, written down, and groceries stocked.

The children's routine is listed out for reference.

The house is clean.

The preschooler is newly and successfully potty-trained.

I even created envelopes (and bins for Margaret) of each day's school work and fun activities (busy work) to use up the morning hours.

I made photocopies of the particular books and wrote the pages of assignments on them. I included in each envelope and bin a daily love note to the children.


The bags are packed and my ride is almost here to get me. Now I just need to calm my heart and rediscover this Child of God who is Katherine . . .

[UPDATE] Family photo just prior to Katherine leaving: