Margaret Learns Swimming

The children recently began taking swim lessons again after a two-year gap. I am so pleased to see Margaret enjoying herself last week, after her first lesson, which was dreadful.

I don't know how to teach swimming and I tend to be overly soft-hearted, so--with a knot in my stomach and trying hard to be a Better Parent--I allowed the swim teacher to ignore how frightened Margaret (three years old next week) to be for the entire lesson. For a half hour, Margaret screamed and cried in the water, begging me to come out, and the teacher told me (in front of her), "It doesn't matter if she cries, she'll get used to it. Just hand her to me."

And I did hand her over. 

I was trying so hard to toughen up myself as a softie mother and to consider that swim teachers know more than me about helping children overcome their fear of the water.

But, boy, this teacher sure was a lot more rough around the edges than the absolutely wonderful, gentle teachers at our prior (very expensive!) swim school!

Well, Margaret was so traumatized that the subsequent day she absolutely refused to join us for a much-anticipated family trip to Ray Splash Park which the children had earned with good behavior over several weeks. Margaret had previously been excited about going and she ended up refusing to go because of her first swim class.

I felt wretched about that turn of events.

So, when we went to Margaret's second swim class, I reminded myself that I am in charge (our being the ones paying for the lessons) and it doesn't matter whether the teacher knows more than me or not: I know my daughter and I'm allowed to have my (softie) preferences.

We had a new teacher who would be our teacher going forward, so I told her what happened last week. I said that I would consider my money very well spent if Margaret spent the entire eight weeks simply gently floating through the water, being held by the teacher, and she enjoyed herself and the water. I was seeking no level of performance and would pull Margaret out if she was scared.

This wonderful new teacher said, "I couldn't agree with you more!" She explained that a lot of parents demand performance despite the teacher pointing out that these are such young children. Then the teacher promised to Margaret, "I won't do anything that scares you."

Through some delightful play and imagination games, the teacher had Margaret in the water for an hour, laughing, splashing, playing, blowing bubbles in the water, and then floating with a noodle and floating backpack. When we got out, Margaret kept asking to go back in and then she reported to Daddy, "I love swimming!"

Praise God, I am so relieved! And I learned a mommy lesson. There are times to toughen up children, but this time, age, and place wasn't one of them!