Changes in Perspective

I had a very trying day Thursday followed by a quite pleasant day Friday. One of the lessons I have remembered about the infant period is that I don't have control over everything and I can't know what is coming next in any given minute, so I might as well accept that uncertainty. (That is really a lesson about life in general, but it is magnified when one has a newborn!) On Thursday Margaret would not sleep longer than ten minutes if I put her down. I had a sitter here for three hours, during which time I was trying to sew, so I kept putting Margaret down, she'd wake, I'd spend time getting her back to sleep (since she was screaming with fatigue), I'd set her down, she'd wake . . . . Three hours of wages spent so I could thread the four spools onto my serger and that is it, literally! Still, it wasn't "wasted" since I would have been even more frustrated with my morning if I were simultaneously trying to take care of John and Mary (and I wouldn't have even managed to thread the serger). The children were particularly rascally that afternoon and I, in my great desire to be in control, lost control and was reduced to a crying, screaming banshee. And that still didn't get them to shape up (of course). Mamas, have you noticed that it is when you are most trying to maintain perfect control of everything that frustration causes you to lose control of yourself? I notice that over here. Margaret continued all day to need me to hold her or she wouldn't sleep (I never figured out why except, you know, that she's three weeks old), which is how I learned the lesson that I can wear a baby in a sling while I sew! I figured that out late at night and then finally managed to sew half of Margaret's Easter dress with the subject herself sleeping on my chest. As mysteriously as Thursday was a trying day, Friday was a really enjoyable day! Honestly, Margaret probably needed to sleep on me as much as the day before, but I didn't mind because I was bustling around instead of trying to set her down so I could sew. It's all a change in perspective! And it changed my mood for the whole day. In one day, I took all three kids out twice by myself for the first times. In the morning I drove them to a great traditionalist Catholic bookstore thirty minutes away to stock up on various gifts for Easter, First Holy Communion, and Baptisms upcoming. Margaret slept during both drives and the children were well behaved and charming while we shopped. (Lessons learned: It takes about 10 minutes to get out of or in to the van due to nursing, diaper changes, and coaxing of big kids. Don't bother putting socks and shoes on Mary until we are at our destination because she will simply take them off during the drive and throw them around the van so someone has to crawl around looking for them. Also, buckling a kid into his car seat inevitably reminds him that he has to go potty.) After stopping home for lunch and a little down time, I took the children to church to attend a Passion Play put on by homeschooling children for homeschooling children. It was so charming! This was John and Mary's first play, so I told them about etiquette of being an audience member and they did pretty well. John was transfixed. Mary wasn't necessarily glued to the action, but she kept her commentary to me to a whisper. (Lesson learned: When traveling through parking lots, it is useful and fun for the kids to "walk like a chain!" with my holding Mary's hand and John holding her other hand, leaving me one hand to hold my purse, snacks, water bottles, and car keys.) The children were given cupcakes after the play. To complete our darned good day, I encouraged Chris to attend his monthly men's movie night (even though he was concerned to leave me with all the bedtime duties). For the first time, I tackled bedtime for all three kids by myself! While using admonishments, but without needing any screaming or punishments, I managed to feed the kids dinner, guide them in cleaning up the den and their bedrooms, get them dressed with teeth brushed, read them stories, and have them in beds (Mary asleep!!!) by 7:29 p.m.! John stayed awake longer, but played quietly in his bed, so that was fine by me. (Lesson learned: Bedtime routine can be accomplished with baby asleep in the sling or awake and nursing, but the first is easier.)

Today is Saturday and I have grand plans for Chris to occupy the big kids while I wear Margaret in a sling and try to do some basic house cleaning. Things like vacuuming my carpets are about two weeks overdue and that is a yucky situation!