Tired Musings on Service

I cooked a meal this morning for a new mom, and the kids fell asleep in the car on the drive back, so that meant no naptime at home for Mary and no simultaneous quiet time for John. So, no break for Mama either! John suggested we make a picnic for lunch and eat it in the back yard.

So, I made a picnic and we took it in the back yard, but John was too excited by the whole idea that he wouldn't eat any of it, which means he got an opportunity later to go hungry since Mama is not a short-order cook and his previously prepared PB&J sandwiches had been placed in the dirt for the ants to eat them by a certain three-year-old boy.

John asked if we could do an art project and I was bored of the same old-same old, so I got the idea to do a nature study of sorts. We went outside and clipped various leaves and flowers from our yard.

We taped the foliage to a piece of butcher paper and labeled the items before hanging it on the kitchen window for all of us to enjoy. John often asks me the specific names of plants, birds, animals, insects, and clouds, so I'm trying to learn all those names so I can give him the accurate information.

Mary's drawings are becoming more interesting to me: little, tight purposeful scribbles instead of broad scrawl.

The kids entertained themselves at length today with the Montessori geometric shapes. John said this was "the towering tower of the Holy Father, the Pope, surrounded by towering cliffs."

Today was an average day that has left me meditating much on the concept of service, serving with love versus with resentment, and wondering what is the purpose of it all. The day wasn't especially challenging, just as challenging as are most days at home with children. Chris is coming home tonight from his second business trip in as many weeks. It was just another long day of making meals, sweeping, washing dishes, disciplining to form the children's characters, mending clothing, taking children outdoors for fresh air play, doing an art project, kissing boo-boos, washing three loads of laundry, reading stories, directing the kids to pick up toys, and so forth. (And on that note, I asked today if John wanted to put away his toys yet and reiterated no thank you, he wants to give them away to poor children. I'm becoming increasingly tempted to do that!) I led the children in a family Rosary and they were beastly, so they lost the special treat of a television show they were going to watch afterwards (which is how I was planning to mop the kitchen floor in peace), and it really would have been much easier for me to throw up my hands and turn on the tube, but I simply couldn't allow myself to teach them (mainly: John) that such bad behavior results in a special treat. How To Raise a Spoiled Brat: 101!

So then I had to endure Mary wailing "Mama! Mama! Mama!" the entire time just to mop the disgusting floor for all of ten minutes. (And, yes, I have tried letting my kids mop with me--we even own a children's mop--but they are too young to follow directions to stay on the dry part of the floor, so mopping with Mama always results in numerous slips and falls . . . and more wailing.)

Anyway, I have nothing profound to say except that life has me tired and thinking about service today. I end a day like today without leaving anything visibly accomplished behind. The floors are clean, but will be a disaster by about 7:30 a.m. tomorrow. The sink will be full of dishes by that time tomorrow too. I feel like a hamster running on a wheel to nowhere (and I have only two kids, I am hardly a hero!). Yet, then I think how Biblical teaching is that we are to serve with love, that is the point. And maybe the mundane things I do over and over again, or making hard (exhausting) choices for the sake of my children's characters and souls, are creating something more permanent than I can see while in this earthly life.

I don't know. Not profound, just tired. Not depressed, just a bit weary and thoughtful, but mostly happy. Deep thoughts by Katherine are not quite as funny as Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.