California Day 14

On Wednesday we travelled home. (You can see me, wearing Mary, in the window's reflection.) I don't know what I'd do without a helper, as Neil dropped off me and the children with some luggage, parked the car, brought the rest of the luggage, and we ferried it in to be checked.

After checking our luggage, we were quite early, so we waited downstairs with Neil for a while.

Above is a (mis)representative moment of the children being peaceful and sweet for a moment on the plane ride. Now, several fellow travelers on both legs of the flight approached me to say how well the children had behaved, so I suppose they're not in conspiracy to lie to me. However, it took a tremendous amount of parent work and the moment above was the only moment the children were actually sitting on their bottoms, in their seats, quietly entertaining themselves. Many parents know better than me how to travel with littles, but I'll share a couple of ideas for my friends who have been asking for them. When John was repeatedly misbehaving with his hands on the flight, I (repeatedly) put his hands into time-out. I gripped his hands together and told him he needed to give me a good, quiet, hand time-out (instead of struggling and shouting) before I'd let go. Then I'd count while he was quiet and then I'd let go. I also put him into a "hug time out" once, which was something I saw Chris invent. It's not meant to be fuzzy wuzzy, but it particularly works when John needs resettling from being rambunctious. Where else could I send him while on the plane? I brought him onto my lap, hugged him, and would not let go. He's not a snuggly boy, so this is a punishment. I told him I wouldn't let go while he kept fighting me and protesting, that he had to be quiet for a while, so finally he was.

We played every game imaginable to us (and I was so grateful that John is three now and I can actually play word games with him). This time I knew not to bother bringing the electronic gizmo I had bought (out of character) for travel as it made noise, caused sibling fights, and still didn't entertain them. Next time I think I might not even carry books on the flight because they didn't want me to read to them either. Instead, we played I Spy, What's That Sound? (make a sound, like 'hee-haw' and other person guesses 'donkey'), and Mary's newly invented game of Stop! in which I sing and Mary calls out 'stop!' I then stop singing mid-word with a shocked look on my face until she signs MUSIC again. Hilarity abounds. Other things the kids did were climb all over the seats and floor and I was incredibly grateful for lenient flight attendants instead of the ones who come by every few minutes to say that the children must be buckled and on their bottoms. Plying the kids with frequent snacks helped break up the boredom. I remember my friend Sarah commenting after a flight with four children (newborn to four) at how Mama making silly faces provided lengthy entertainment--and she was right!

The children napped only once. As we started our second leg, it was their normal nap time and I saw they were revving up into chaos. I told John that after we got into the air, it was going to be nap time. What was astonishing was that when I announced the time was here, John simply curled up in a ball, closed his eyes, and went to sleep without lifting his head once (while I then nursed Mary to sleep). I got one blissful hour of them sleeping, during which time the snack tray came by and I was able to buy some food, and I even read some of my book. I was grateful every moment, knowing it could end (and it did).

Last time I posted about travel, I received many questions about bathroom facilities, so this time I'll just oblige my readers. During our layover (25 minutes on the ground, only enough time for a bathroom visit, no time for lunch = Mama very hungry), I sought out a custodian to find a family bathroom and was thrilled with where he led me. The family bathroom in Phoenix is probably 150 square feet! It contained a full leather bench, handicapped accessible facilities, a shower (not that we used it) and room for my two littles two wander around the room, stretching their legs. Unfortunately, three times on the flights, we had to use the airplane facilities! On the first leg, Mary had just fallen asleep in my arms when John needed me to escort him, and she was jostled awake during the procedure: I apologized to our seat mate for the loss of blissful baby silence. Then on the second leg, first Mary demanded to be taken to the facilities (and refused to use her diaper, thankyouverymuch), so I took her and left John with our very kindly seatmate. (Also the bathroom was literally the wall behind our seats, so I felt more comfortable.) Apparently John talked the gentleman's ear off, telling him all about the safari, how John sings songs (and did a little performance), how he has a Big Boy Wrist Watch, and so forth. Later, John needed escorting again and I didn't feel comfortable leaving Mary, so that's when I learned that all three of us do fit in an airplane bathroom, even when I'm not wearing the baby in my Ergo.

One sad moment in Phoenix: Upon coming in for landing, John kept remarking on the city he was seeing and said, "I want to walk around when we get there." I said sure, he could walk around a little, thinking he meant in the airport. Well, we had that rushed 25-minute layover and as I was unbuckling him from the stroller to gate-check it, John grabbed the straps so as not to be released and said very quietly, with lip trembling, "You said I could walk around the city." Oh, poor sweet boy! I explained that I never meant the city, we had another plane to catch, I was so sorry. Then his crestfallen acceptance made me feel even worse.

When Chris picked us up at home, John hugged him, like this, head on shoulder, for probably 20 minutes. When I sunk myself into our van, with Chris to drive us home, I remarked, "Now marks the moment when I no longer have to be in charge all the time." What a relief!

We arrived home to new pine straw and wood chips in the yard, a freshly cleaned house, stocked groceries, a huge bouquet of fragrant lilies, and two gourmet chocolate bars. We are glad to be here!