Homemaker's Work Shift

Nearly four years into my marriage and nearly three years into motherhood, I realized something interesting (to me) within the last couple of months: homemakers don't work a standard "shift" but work a shift more like two peaks.

In the last few years, I've really resented having to do morning duties and dinner duties. In the morning, I'm waking up, often after insomnia and/or bad rest due to a baby, I'm sleepy, I want to wake up slowly with my coffee, maybe read the paper, have a nice time. I certainly don't want to wake up to the rush of emptying the dishwasher, cooking breakfast, cleaning the kitchen, getting everyone dressed, making beds, and getting us where we need to go or starting our day. Then dinner time rolls around and I'd feel resentful about those duties. I'm tired. It's the "end" of my day (when do I get to "be off work"?), yet there is dinner to make, cranky kids to manage, a kitchen to clean, then the bedtime routine before I collapse into bed.

It occurred to me recently that I've been thinking like the corporate employee I was for about ten years before I married. I was used to thinking of my working day as 8:00 to 5:00, so my early mornings were my "own," as was my time after the work day ended. But some of a homemaker's biggest duties are the morning and dinnertime chores!

So for at least a month I've been thinking of my "work shift" (like a homemaker is ever really "off duty") as having a double peak. I wake up in the morning and it's time for a big push, then my day has a slow time in the early afternoon, then the evening is time for another big push. Realizing the double peak, I've decided that it is very important that I take advantage of the slow time in the early afternoon. If I keep being productive all day long then I'd never get any downtime and I'd feel exhausted and resentful. (I've realized that all those more experienced mothers were wise when telling me, "Rest when the baby rests!!!") So, for the last couple months I've been trying to lie down when the kids do: I lay down with them for their afternoon nap (which I've coordinated to be simultaneous), then I rest for 30-45 minutes. Then I get up and try to do something enjoyable while they're asleep, even if it's just eating my own lunch in peace or reading a book. I feel much more energized for the dinner push.

Coming from a couple of generations of feminist nonsense, it has taken me several years to come to this idea for how to have a better attitude about fulfilling some of my most basic homemaking duties. I thought I'd put aside my pride (at how long this has taken me) and share, in case it helps any other wives and mothers out there. I know I've been feeling a better attitude about it all for the last month!