"Someone once remarked that 'childhood is such a wonderful period in life, that
it is a shame to waste it on children.' It is a wonderful time and any
parent who fills it with fear and punishment is a wretched person. To stem the
natural joy that bursts from little hearts is the height of folly. There will be
long, dreary years ahead, in which the parent would give anything to hear that
boisterous carefree voice again and deem it an honor to pick up scattered toys
and clothing. Don't wait until the nest is empty to appreciate your children.
They live in childhood's carefree days but once, and they pass, oh, so quickly,
never again to return!"
The paragraph is from Sins of Parents: Counsels on Marriage and Youth Guidance by Fr. Charles Hugo Doyle (1951). That one paragraph alone would give a misleadingly narrow idea of the tenor of the book, which advocates things like marriages staying together because of the devastation wrought on children from divorces (the first 40 pages out of 200 are on that subject alone!) and quite firm discipline (teaching) but not punishment of children. Anyway, I'm enjoying the book and that passage rather sent me over the edge, causing me to think of every time I'm irritated by normal toddler behavior from my sweet boy.
This passage is exactly why we don't raise voices or use any form of punishment in our house (time-outs included). We're not perfect (my voice can become shrill if I'm not careful!), but thinking about the future and asking myself, "How will I view this moment in 30 years" helps tremendously!
ReplyDelete(I should add that our views on punishment also stem from developmental research as well.)
These years are too fleeting! I don't want to have any regrets about the way I treated my babies!
What a nice passage, and especially poignant for me right now. Not having been feeling well, my patience has been running extremely thin as of late...and then I feel really guilty about it.
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