Playing in the Leaves

This learning curve of caring for two children is tough for me. I can't think of a more eloquent way to say it. Of course, I knew it would be. Many of the tips for how to care for a toddler and a newborn are for after the toddler is accustomed to the newborn, to his not being the sole focus of Mama's attention anymore. I think time and Mama's common sense will be much of what is going to be required for getting through the difficult emotional aspects of this transition.

Poor John is watching a lot of television these days. And he's having many tantrums. Did my midwife tell me not to pick up 25-pound John for two whole weeks? Surely she meant only two days because I don't see how I can manage John's diaper changes and dressing and tantrums without a lot of physical exertion.

Yesterday I had some small successes, which are probably the only kind of successes possible eight days postpartum. In the morning I sorted through my bins of non-maternity clothing and for about 30 minutes I kept John engaged with me instead of watching yet more television. I would hold up an item of clothing to my body and say, "Nope, doesn't fit." I was just talking to myself when John began parroting me, helpfully pointing out over and over, "Nope, doesn't fit! Nope, doesn't fit!" That makes a chubby mama one week postpartum feel real good . . .

Then I had another success when I bundled up John and Mary to play in the back yard instead of watching yet more television. It was a balmy 58 degrees and gloriously sunny. John contentedly played for an hour simply moving hand fulls of leaves from one location to another. I was wearing Mary in my Maya wrap and the two of us were ensconced in a cozy fleece shawl.

Chris is helping a lot while juggling being back to work half time (and more). I had slept only three hours Wednesday night, so Chris helped me out greatly on Thursday afternoon by taking John back outdoors for more adventuring so I could nap with Mary. We're eating most of our meals in the kitchen now, but Chris is still bringing me breakfast or dinner in the bedroom anytime I want to rest more. I'm enjoying that Mary is so sleepy and content that I can leave her in Chris' care at times while I spend normal, Mama-son alone time with John throughout the day. In the end, I was on my feet a lot yesterday and I could really feel this morning that I pushed myself too much, which is humbling.