Call me crazy!

This morning Chris tried to give me a gift: time. You see, John is only at peace if he is in somebody's arms. I figure that he has months and months to learn to be alone, but he spent eight months in utero, constantly in connection with Mom, so the silence of not hearing my heartbeat is rather terrifying for him now--when he has not even reached his due date! So, we hold him. Because I am nursing, that means that I hold John mostly around the clock; Chris certainly wishes he could hold him more! This morning Chris suggested that he hold John for as long as John would stay asleep and he insisted that I do some enjoyable things for myself (you know, luxuries like taking a shower). I showered, did a little laundry, I even worked on John's baby album, but my initial thrill of having time to myself faded quickly to discomfort, then mild alarm. I think I lasted between an hour and an hour and a half before I asked to take sleeping John back, "even if that means I'm crazy!"