Just Nut Butter, Please!

I wave the white flag!

How many months have I served Margaret peanut butter on toast or on crackers, only inevitably to have her scrape off all the peanut butter, ask for more of it, and leave a mess of grain product uneaten? So now I will forgo giving her pretty nutritionally vapid food and wasting money on it, and I'll just give her a bowl of peanut butter. 

She loved that I finally got a clue about this!

New Backpacks

Now I have experienced firsthand seeing children's joy at NEW BACKPACKS. It was tremendous.

These were the only backpacks without cartoons that I could find at Wal-Mart, so it was good the kids liked the designs so much.

Happy Anniversary ...

I dedicate this song to my beautiful wife on the 7th anniversary of her saying yes. (Music Video: Dancing in the Mine Fields by Andrew Peterson)

I love you.

Finding Mary Reading

This morning I heard Mary (3-3/4) upstairs in the bonus room reading to herself. Quite by accident, she began using the phonics program intended for John (All About Reading Level 1) and has been proceeding happily at one lesson per day. She's even reading the stories in the primer that comes with the program.

This was not what I was expecting or planning to teach her!


So this morning after listening to her for a while, I crept upstairs and asked her if I could videotape her reading from this little phonics reader we received in a bunch of hand-me-down school supplies from the cousins (thank you!).

In our fourth week of homeschooling, this kind of thing is a bright spot. There have been tears--shed by teacher and all students. There have been dashed hopes. Learning how to juggle immediate needs of everyone is really hard, and I guess that is all I will say for now. I wouldn't want it any other way, but it doesn't mean this isn't a steep learning curve!

On the bright side, Margaret (17 months) spent the first week screaming over me every time I tried to teach the other children. Then she began imitating us by grabbing a book and plunking herself down in the small chair or a bean bag. She flips through the pages quite studiously, then finds another book, rarely screaming during school time now. That has been a sweet gift.

Above is an example of trying to do a math lesson alone with John (5-3/4). Everyone insists on being involved and wants to try to ask questions. ("Mama, I don't want Mary answering my questions.")

Even little Margaret is a student of sorts!

Anniversary Night Out (Sort Of)

Happy seven-year anniversary . . .

(1) to me on my Confirmation into the Catholic Church, and
(2) to us on our engagement to marriage!

I got to enjoy the day by going on a Mothers' Night Out to a restaurant with a special group of Catholic ladies who meet for spiritual study monthly. Chris pointed out, "I think this is the first time in two years that you've been to a mothers' night out without a baby."

Yes, something like that! I get pretty regular Saturday morning breaks without the children (thanks, Chris!), but nighttime outings are a lot longer in coming because of my being a nursing mommy.

Note above the itty bitty purse I got to take with me! See you later, giant diaper bag!

Note the empty van with exactly zero children in it!

I had a wonderful time. I was so relaxed, even about the 17-month-old and her bedtime without me, that I forgot to check my phone for text messages from Chris until 9:30 at night. Glad there wasn't any trouble!

Mark the Calendar!

Guess which 17-month-old slept through the night last night? Just guess!

Margaret went to bed around 8:00, woke maybe around 9:30, and then didn't wake again until 5:00 when I was able to get her back to sleep till 6:30. Of course, mommies accustomed to babies who wake every 90 minutes don't easily transition to actually sleeping. So you can guess which mommy lay awake for hours trying to convince herself that crib death is almost unheard of in a 17-month-old, but finally had to sneak into the baby's room with a flashlight to make sure Margaret was sleeping peacefully.

I readily admit that if my primary goal were to get my baby to sleep through the night as soon as possible, I do everything wrong and would be earning a big fat 'F.' But that is not my primary goal, so isn't it all that much sweeter when the baby (toddler!) starts sleeping longer! Yay, I feel so good this morning!

Sweet, Quiet Moment

The children were being suspiciously "too quiet" in the play room, so Chris went up to check on them. It turns out that they were reading the world atlas in the tent, with John discussing Christopher Columbus' sea routes with Mary. Last week we read Columbus by Ingri and Edgar Parin D'Aulaire (and may all grandparents be notified that their books are amazing and I now want all the D'Aulaire books for our homeschooling library!).

Chris ended the recording so fast because he heard such a clear "Daddy" from somewhere and didn't know what was going on, since it wasn't coming from Mary. Turns out it was little Margaret speaking so clearly! (Interestingly, she is the first of our children to call me 'Mommy' instead of 'Mama.')

Dancing Party

One night when I wasn't here after dinner, Chris invented the "Dancing Party," which is when we put on YouTube videos of music and the kids dance. Daddies invent the neatest stuff, don't they? I can't help but be cheered when I watch the children in their carefree jubilation.

Tonight the children put on tights and socks in order to slip and slide better on the wood floors.

Nancy Sinatra's "These Boots Are Made For Walkin'"

"That's Amore," which is the current song I have to hear performed most often by the children every day.

"Where's Matt?"

"The Chicken Dance" as taught on the Lawrence Welk show--the funniest video if you watch only one!

Note at the end of the video that Margaret (17 months) lifts her dress and signs POTTY to me. I've been very casual about infant potty training (as it's often called) this time around and she's been happily informing me of matters--usually in time for me to take her to the potty--for months. I'm loving it!

Swinging from Trees

Chris has always wanted a rope swing and a few weeks ago installed one. We still have to buy a proper kind of seat (there are various types), so are using the baby swing seat for now.

The arc that the child is swinging is something around 60 feet.

Let's just say that watching this has taken some acclimation for Mama. It's my job to make sure our precious children never get hurt (the other day John asked me sincerely, "why do you worry so much?"), but I think daddies have an additional sort of job involving learning risk-taking and bravery.

John swinging from the tree, as videotaped from the second story window

At 17 months, Margaret now "smiles" on cue for the camera.

First Day of Catholic Schoolhouse

This is a "grandparent's post," meaning it contains way more details than normal people would be interested in reading!

Today was our first day at Catholic Schoolhouse! I'm not accustomed to getting the whole gang out so early in the day and keeping us out for hours, so I was planning the day ahead of all the things I needed to pack and making lists on my white board. I knew I couldn't have us all out the door by 7:00 in time for Mass, so Chris took John to Mass, then I brought the girls, joined John at 8:30, and Chris left for work.

Yes, that is a whole bunch of stuff to bring along for keeping the four of us out of the house for nearly four hours!

Mary stayed in the nursery where, you can guess, she was absolutely fine. She had thanked God in her prayers the night before for "getting" to go to the nursery the next day. Each time I came back this morning to check on her, she asked in a perplexed way why I had come back. Meanwhile, John had not been excited about this whole venture and was remaining cautious.

I kept Margaret with me because I didn't think she'd do well in the nursery at only 17 months old. Keeping her occupied and mostly quiet in a classroom setting was its own challenge! I brought a few toys. Her favorite activity these days is methodically putting things into a container, then taking them out of a container. So her favorite toy today was an old diaper wipes container filled with small wooden trains. (Above, she is "smiling" for the camera.)

John ended up having a "great!" time today. Each child is assigned to present for three to five minutes on a three-week cycle, and John was actually assigned to the very first day. He declined, saying he wanted to watch this time around. Since he is in a phase of knowing Everything about All Subjects and wanting to tell everything he knows, even to strangers, I had a sneaking suspicion that he would want to give a presentation at the last moment. He's currently wild about Beethoven, so I brought along one of his books on the composer. Once John saw the other kids getting ready to present, he asked me if he could do so too. And then he raised his hand and asked to go first! Of course, he hadn't practiced and had never seen a presentation, so he stood up there and said, "This is my book about Beethoven." And nothing else! I prodded him to share his favorite symphony or anything about Beethoven's life, since he could go on with colorful details for a quarter of an hour, but he didn't want to. I thought he'd be the only young child to give such a lack of a presentation, but most of the children in his class gave that exact same kind of presentation today. It was pretty funny.

Also humorous was observing the innate boy-girl differences apparent even at ages five, six, and seven. The boys struggled to contain themselves. Most of them were bouncing some part of their bodies at all times, making weird faces or weird sounds, and always seeking to move faster. Meanwhile, the girls perched sweetly on their chairs, coloring carefully inside the lines, and raising their hands to speak. Girls stood in lines quietly and still during transitions, or held hands together as they walked slowly. Girls were very helpful to each other, such as one girl raising her hand to say solicitously, "Ma'am, this little girl next to me needs some help." Meanwhile, if we turned our backs for one moment, the boys would be wrestling each other joyfully, caught up in a tangle of arms and legs, or seeing what happens if they poked each other with pencils. I couldn't stop chuckling about it all day. Plus it rather horrified me to wonder how on earth young boys do in regular schools, which are designed by women, taught by women, and are for girls to succeed. My only criticism of the schedule I saw today is that there was no recess, so the children were expected to be occupied quietly in academics for three hours straight, which was fine for the girls but I watched the boys simply falling apart.

I learned great tips for classroom/child management by watching the excellent mother-teachers today. I struggle to keep my two quiet during homeschooling and this one teacher had to keep 13 students in John's class quiet. Instead of her volume going up, it went down. She spoke to them practically in a whisper, to which the children became quieter and quieter. The day was full of useful observations for me to use at home.

We had a great day! And it should be no surprise that I was totally exhausted, we call came home and collapsed for naps, I spent the afternoon like a limp noodle, dinner was boxed mac and cheese, chicken nuggets, and apples, and the dishes have yet to be washed or my day bags unpacked. Phew!

"Why Homeschool?" and God's Divine Providence

I came across a short 12-minute homily entitled "Why Homeschool?" which I heartily recommend as listening for nearly every God-believing parent (click here to listen). Yes, it is written for Catholics specifically but I think Protestants with some understanding of God's divine providence would appreciate it. Without saying so, it is speaking mostly to mothers because we are the ones in the home and around the children nearly all their waking hours, so we get much more opportunity to practice patience (which comes from the Latin for "suffering"), but perhaps that lack of hours for practice is all the more reason fathers should listen to this homily too. Lastly, while the homily is describing divine providence within the context of the homeschooling family's lifestyle, the priest points out that the listener can easily extrapolate to a non-homeschooling situation. (For example, if God is asking this degree of acceptance of his permissive will from parents who are around their children for all their waking hours, why any less so for parents who are around their children for morning and evening only?)

I think this homily is such a pearl of wisdom contained in such a small container (only 12 minutes!), I listened to it again and took notes, which I will share in hopes of whetting your appetite.

Excerpts from "Why Homeschool?"

This is the task that God has given you in there here and now to grow in holiness. It does not matter what the task is!

So why would you want any other task than what God gave you?

St. Maximilian Kolbe retained a spirit of recollection in Auschwitz. Your home may be chaotic, but it is not Auschwitz!

Homeschooling is making of a given situation what God wills of it.

The peanut butter Joey mashed into Suzy's hair is a gift from God meant to give Him glory and to get us to Heaven. You see, the only evil in the universe is to not be at one with the will of God.

How can that be? If we accept that God is all-powerful, nothing occurs without his causing it or permitting it. Everything save sin is God's will.

Anger needs to be a choice that needs to be made with self-control when you know it is in God's will that you become angry to save your child from harm. Anger itself is just a passion, neither good nor bad.

Why would I choose a different reality than here and now? See the pride in willing anything different than what God gave you? Is He capable of giving an imperfect gift? God is all-powerful and He loves you. Can He ever harm you?

God does not will any sinfulness in your child's will, but he does will the actions that he performs. [Note from Katherine: This is permissive will, which is defined beautifully in Trustful Surrender, below. E.g., God does not will the sin in the will of the man who punches you out, but he does permissively will the movement of his arm swinging which made contact with your face.)

Uniting your will to God's is the single most important thing in the universe and it does not matter if it comes through things pleasant or unpleasant. [Note from Katherine: Wow. If we do nothing else, let's read that sentence ten times and meditate on it throughout the day.]

Peace in your heart is always possible by recognizing whatever is God's will for you in the moment. Some things may call you to actions, others not, but all is to be accepted as what is. It is all from God.

Then though there be chaos in the house, peace will reign.

So you do this great thing: you homeschool. It is a noble and a beautiful thing. It has many times become a necessary thing in our world which slides further and further into that darkness prepared for Satan and his angels. Never doubt that you are doing the best thing for your children: not because they will become rocket scientists or even because they will know the commandments and avoid drugs and bad music. But rather the reason why homeschooling is so valuable is because your children will get to see you do difficult things for others and persevere at it day after day after day. And so they will learn what love is. You conquer yourself. You sacrifice for another and they learn what love is. Love is about willing the good of another, even at the cost of your own life, which price you pay every day when you have children.

You do your children the greatest service: you teach them what love is and with that you will save their souls for God is love. And once your children know what love is, they will always seek it, and, always seeking it, they will one day find God. And they will unite their will to his.

Success in homeschooling is not about reaching some goal or end, but in the doing of it.

* * * * * * * * * * 

Back to Katherine's thoughts . . .  Please don't think that I think that I have achieved what I am recounting with admiration above. I feel blessed to already be familiar with the above concepts from reading them over and over again, but that probably makes it even more pathetic that I continue to stumble and fail, day after day. I read stories of martyr-saints and think that I would be able to stand up to tortures, I would be able to do heroic things. I watched "For Greater Glory" and saw the Mexican Catholics attending Mass, knowing that at any occasion the federales might burst in and murder them. I read in the paper just this morning about the Catholics in Syria attending Mass to the sound of machine gun fire outside. I let my mind wander about how I would be so true to my faith.

Then I turn around and lose control and scream at my children because they weren't paying perfect attention, John left his clothes on the floor for the zillionth time, Mary was sassy, and I burned the food I was cooking because I was cleaning up food Margaret threw across the room. I lose control of self amidst the chaos of perfectly healthy children behaving in perfectly normal ways, not even egregiously. Yes, some Auschwitz my home is, right? Quite a few times, the best I am managing is gritting my teeth and white-knuckling it to retain calm amidst it all, which is certainly not a true Christian spirit of recollection. And then some days, for short stretches, I think I get it close to right.

The concept of God's permissive will is both difficult to accept and extremely enlightening. And it's one thing to try to be heroic enough to retain a recollected spirit when Joey smashes peanut butter in Suzy's hair, but quite another when one is diagnosed with cancer or one's child is suffering dreadfully. My mind almost can't even go there and form the words, so clearly God knows how weak I am.

I can't recommend highly enough for every Christian to read Fr. Jean Baptist Saint-Jure's "Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence: The Secret of Peace and Happiness." This tiny treasure will take a person all of two hours to read through. It is available from TAN Publishers or online for free. (If you seek it online, be sure to find an original version, such as found here, because I have discovered at least one source online in which someone has inserted many entirely non-Christian paragraphs, which I think is very deceitful, to say the least.)

Feast of the Assumption 2012

Our sweet John on his way to Mass with Daddy . . . I went to Mass later so that for once I didn't have to stand in the narthex with the baby. Yay! 

We made a Marian triptych celebrating her immaculate conception, her assumption into heaven, and her queenship of heaven (directions here). 

We baked white cupcakes and decorated them white and blue frosting. Why yes, that is a box of conventional cupcake mix and containers of pre-made, chemical-mix frosting . . . I do the best I can and sometimes that best is less than on other days!

Margaret Feeds Herself

I don't feed many purees to my babies, instead letting them grab squishy or mashed food off my plate while they're learning, so that means I don't end up doing a lot of spoon-feeding. In my experience so far, they end up learning to use a spoon and fork before they're one, which I think is great.

Margaret is now 16 months old and, just like the others, is in a new phase of independence in which she wants control of the bowl of food too.

She will refuse to eat until I give her the whole bowl to scoop from herself. I haven't bothered to have a stand-off with her because, so far, she is not throwing her bowl of food on the floor, so I don't mind at all if she feeds herself.

In fact, this relieves me of a task! Wonderful!

And in a humorous example of how babies are very adaptable and smart: our babysitter does like to spoon feed, so Margaret sits there passively letting herself be fed, while she throws tantrums with me if I don't hand over the spoon and bowl. She knows how different people operate!

Does Mary Ever Slow Down?

Mary (3-3/4) has been helping me cook, including at the stove, probably for a year and a half and has never purposefully touched the heat. So we all remain perplexed as to why she responded to my saying, "The stove is still super hot. Do not touch it."

. . . by putting her whole hand on it. I was moving a hot cast iron griddle off the stove top, so had to pick it up with oven mitts and move it to the other counter. I had turned off the stove, but it was still "super hot," so reminded Mary of that so she wouldn't touch it accidentally in the two or three seconds I was all of three feet away from her.

It was definitely scary and I've never listened to a child scream for so long. We spoke to the doctor and were told what to do.

All's well that ends well: By the afternoon, Mary had figured out how to climb to the top crossbar of the swing set, to climb fences, to dribble a basketball, and to swing on the 50-foot rope swing with her second-degree burns and bandaged fingers.

Week Wrap-Up

Chris wanted to get in on the action of celebrating John's swimming ribbon, so he took out the family for frozen yogurt on Thursday night. At the announcement, John ran upstairs, then emerged wearing his Mass clothes, tie, good shoes, and everything. I opened my mouth to scold him because I want him to keep his Mass clothes neat and reserved for church, but then I bit my tongue and asked with a nice tone of voice, "Why did you change, honey?" John answered seriously, "I just wanted to look my best." Well, it's hard to argue with that so I shut my mouth.

Now, it was Daddy who suggested he go get his ribbon . . . John pinned it on with his Eucharist pin and was looking sharp.

Our first week of homeschooling is over and I am grateful to God for such success. It was a real confidence-booster to me. I know from all my homeschooling friends and acquaintances that there will be days of frustration and tears--weeks and maybe months of them! Therefore, it was a real treat not to feel distress during my first week.

In fact, I organized my homemaking so well this week, anticipating that I'd be entirely overwhelmed by homeschooling, that we'd finish schooling very early in the day, we'd do our family chores, and we'd still have hours of free time, which is rare around here. I also got to enjoy the flexibility that homeschooling affords, such as deciding to do Mary's one-on-one schooling while John was at Mass with Daddy or at 6:30 a.m. in our pajamas because John was still sleeping. I've learned that John does his catechism and math best when the girls are in Quiet Time, but other than that I was able to juggle the three kids at once. John and Mary are learning about their new jobs to occupy Margaret while the other child is doing one-on-one schooling. Initially the child would play with Margaret for 30 seconds, then wander off, or would want to build his own special blocks and be upset that the baby knocked them over. I'm teaching that occupying the baby is their job for those 15 minutes, so that means building whatever she wants or reading to her whatever book she chooses, without wandering away. With reminders, they're starting to "get it."

While everyone else was having a great week, Margaret has been having one of those tough baby weeks. First of all, she's been waking at 4:30 a.m. for about a month. I can get her to stay in bed in restless slumber for about one additional hour, but I never get back to sleep after 4:30 and I have to take her downstairs by 5:30 or she'll wake everyone else. So, Mama is fatigued. Then a week ago, I noticed her overnight sleep got really rough. I suspected teething and was confirmed some days later when I saw all four canines poking through simultaneously! Poor girl! Finally, last night her sleep was atrocious and my mommy radar told me she'd be getting sick: indeed, she woke up with a cold and has been a grumpy girl all day. I anticipate an uncomfortable night ahead for us!

Bonus Reading: Escape from Babyland . . . which I think finds the delicate balance between celebrating being open to life but without sugarcoating the difficulties.

John's Graduation Ribbon!

John finally earned his ribbon! That means he graduated from his Rosie Red Fish class and would be moving up a level, if we weren't ending swim lessons anyway because of the school year beginning.

This ribbon was very hard earned in a difficult saga for John that I haven't documented on this blog since children deserve increased privacy as they get older. John's teacher said that she's never been as proud of a child as she is of John in her six-and-a-half years of teaching swimming (because of how hard it was for him to overcome his fears). And now we have a boy who loves swimming, which was by far the most important goal for me, phobic of water: that he'd love the water and not fear it.

I'm so happy for my boy! We celebrated after swim class by playing at a park and going out for lunch.

First Day of School

When I was growing up, every single year my dad too a photo of me on the first day of school sitting in the same chair. I loved that tradition.

First day of preschool for ages 3-4 

First day of Kindergarten

Without thinking, I scheduled a well-child appointment for John at 11:15 on his first day of homeschooling, so then I was worried we wouldn't finish our work in time. I tried to reschedule, but the next available appointment was a month out, so I didn't make the change. Turns out, I was able to keep us at a properly brisk pace!

We had finished breakfast, dressing, and morning chores in time to start school by 8:00. I did joint preschool and Kindergarten subjects first: music, poetry, nature, and Bible. Then after a three-year-old potty break, I assigned Mary to build stacks of blocks with Margaret while I did Kindergarten work with John: catechism, handwriting, and phonics. Margaret definitely was a difficulty, as she wanted attention and was screaming often (not crying, but screaming in anger). John and Mary weren't cherubic, compliant children, but I gave them a sticker each after each subject and time outs were a possibility for children who were very disruptive, so those two tactics got us through the first day.

At the end, John raced downstairs and announced joyfully to Daddy, "School was fun! It was super fun!"

We were done by 9:30, with time for eating a snack and a whole hour to fill before leaving for John's appointment. Success!

Summer Comes to a Close

Summer is drawing to a close, if not the actual season but the time before Kindergarten begins. I feel like a big shimmering bubble floating around, full of exuberance about starting homeschooling "for real." But I know that the bubble that is me has no way to avoid landing on something sharp (like reality) and popping, probably sooner rather than later. Nonetheless, I use my eagerness to fuel me in getting ready.

John and Mary each have a large binder in which I save their best artwork and handwriting. All of John's work has gone into his Pre-K Binder for the last three years and, starting this week, I will put things in his Kindergarten Binder!

I had great fun creating a History Timeline Binder, which I hope will serve us for years. I found a very useful website on timelines and considered the pros and cons of various types of timelines. As much as a wall timeline appeals to me, I have very little vertical wall space in our attic school room, so I chose to make a binder. I used four different colors of card stock for the four periods of history.

My plan is that any time we learn about something from history, we will add a little picture of it on the appropriate page. We have already added the birth of Jesus, Beethoven, and the invention of the steam engine train. John seems very interested in this project. I'd like to add pictures of our various family members to the timeline to show when they were born (pics of the kids, of Mama and Daddy, of the grandparents).

Take a good look at how neat my desk is because I get it this organized about once per year.

It is almost time to throw away the list hanging behind my computer entitled, "Goals for This Summer." I achieved some things on my modest list, but mostly spent the summer gestating, which involved lying horizontally on the sofa.

As excited as I am for Kindergarten tomorrow, John will tell anyone who asks that he is not excited. Of course, the two parents who have planned to homeschool since before they even met have a firstborn who says he isn't excited about school. That reminds me, it is still on my list to buy "Teaching Boys & Other Children Who Would Rather Make Forts All Day"!