22 Weeks Pregnant

Mama is 22 weeks pregnant!

John opening his very own mail from Auntie E.

This seems to be John's new social smile used for photographs. It's an improvement over the grimace used for all of age two.

They Enjoy What They Know

I am in the kitchen cleaning up after breakfast, listening to my children over the upstairs baby monitor. They put on their favorite CD of Bach music while they are playing.

I love it.

First Sunday of Advent 2010

My goals for Advent are to do more than nothing, but to keep celebrations simple enough that I stand more of a chance of following through with my plans. Chris can attest that my goals can be bigger than my abilities!

We bought new Advent candles for our brass wreath (see to the right on the mantle), which we plan to light each Sunday night and to say the applicable prayers. Also we bought an Advent calendar with little chocolates (see to the left on the mantle). Some of our friends will be amused to realize that some Catholics do not approve of these chocolate Advent calendars because Advent is a penitential season, which makes Chris and me "liberal" on an issue for once! At least for now . . . . Anyway, we made a bit of a mistake tonight because we started the chocolate calendar, as today was the first day of Advent, forgetting that the calendar really counts down December 1-25, so we started it a few days early.

I decided to try doing a Jesse Tree this year. I think John is just enough older really to be able to follow the Bible stories, even better than he did with our Lenten Cross. I made this decision spontaneously today, so had little time for preparation, and we don't own an actual prefabricated Jesse Tree. Instead, I photocopied the images and Scripture citations from "Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany in the Domestic Church" (Ignatius Press). I then pasted the pages onto Christmas wrapping paper before cutting out the images as ornaments.

Each evening, we will read that today's Bible story, then hang the ornament on the Jesse Tree (which is a faux Christmas tree I had Chris pull down from the attic). Tonight began the story of David, son of Jesse, being chosen by God through the prophet Samuel as the next king of Israel. John truly listened quietly and then leapt with recognition at the final line of the story, realizing that the boy who was chosen--David--is the same boy he knows so well who was small, who herded sheep, who killed Goliath, who played the harp, who became king . . .

We also put out the nativity set today. The kids were having tremendous fun with it right away and I realized that--since we own an unbreakable set and we put it down low for the purpose of the kids using it--our nativity set will not look pretty and "accurate" at any point this Advent season. The Wise Men won't be marching from the East, the shepherds won't stay with their sheep, who knows where the cattle will be at any given time. But that is okay!

Thanks, Grandpa!

We arrived home from hiking to find that Grandpa R. had sent the kids new insect puppets for no particular reason except that he thought of them. The kids love them! Mary now says, "I am like a bee hiver!" I don't know if that means she is like a bee keeper or a bee hive, but either way it is cute. And you know a toy is good when fights start breaking out about who gets to play with it and that they don't want to share.

Note: I am still learning how to use our new camera. I see that when I watch these videos from the blog, the wide angle is being cut to a square, so the viewer misses the right edge of the video. I think if you click straight to the video on YouTube, you can view it properly.

South Mountains State Park

Since Chris discovered South Mountains State Park a couple of months ago, he has been inviting me to go every weekend. But pregnancy discomforts have kept me from wanting to go until today, when I thought I could manage it.

On the drive, we pass this tree growing out of an old, broken silo. Chris said it was even more impressive to see when covered in leaves.

We crossed this bridge at the start of the hike and Mary's first words were, "I want to climb!" (Don't worry, we were right there and didn't let her climb higher than this.)

Mary spent the whole hike saying, "I want to do it myself!" So, typical ramblings went like this: "I want to walk myself. Look, Mama, I running! I want to walk on this edge, let me give it a try. Look, Mama, I walking on the edge! I want to jump on these leaves myself. Look, Mama, I jumping!"

This is what John calls the "grotto" and the kids dropping to their knees to pray (which is what they're doing) was spontaneous.

But this is a staged re-enactment of Lourdes!

Even though little John has repeatedly made the full hike to the waterfall at the top, I looked up the rest of the trail (where Chris said "it stops being mild") and said my 21-week pregnant self had to turn back around. So, we all marched back down!

John was excited to see cows on the pretty rural drive home.

Because we Catholics celebrate the penitential, preparatory season of Advent, Chris and I really notice how Christmas decorations and activities show up even before Thanksgiving and certainly the day after Thanksgiving. The (religious) Christmas season actually doesn't start till December 25 . . . and we're going to be decorating our tree right as all our neighbors are throwing theirs out to the curbs!

Braids!

Mary's hair is now long enough for braids!

Socialization in Action

But how will they be socialized?!

Sometimes when Mary is crabby, she starts screaming at John to be quiet about every little thing, whether turning the pages in his book or drinking his water or breathing. This morning she was in one of those moods and kept saying things like, "Stop drinking, John! I can't hear!" with her face all scrunched up in a mean expression.

Then the following exchange occurred between my babies, two-last-week and four-next-week:

John, sweetly: "Mary, why did you say that to me? Were you trying to be funny?"

"Yes."

"Well, Mary, that's not funny to tell me not to drink my water. That's not funny. Please say you're sorry to me for talking rudely. And then you need to say sorry to God." (This was repeated a couple of times, as Mary resisted.)

Mary, relenting: "Sorry, Brother."

Astute Questions

We try to be delicate in our language about difficult subjects with John so as to be age-appropriate, but lately I've noticed him asking more astute questions. I then try to answer him, and I hope his asking indicates that he's ready for the answers! Two examples struck me as humorous:

This morning we were discussing that Mary has a splinter in her finger and where do splinters come from? I said I would take it out of her finger.

"But how will you take it out?"

Not wanting to make him think it hurts, "I'll use tweezers."

"Tweezers won't be able to get it out of her finger. What else will you use?"

"Well, a needle, honey, I'll use a needle."

That's when John suggested that we don't need to use a needle, that God will heal the splinter instead.

The example from Thanksgiving was even better. I had prepared the uncooked turkey and was about to put it in the oven.

"What is that, Mama?"

"That is a turkey."

"But how did they make a turkey into that?"

Starting with the simplest answer, "They took off the feathers."

"But, Mama, then where is the head?"

"Um, yes, they had to take off the head too."

Thanksgiving 2010

I woke up Thanksgiving morning to discover that our camera seems to have bit the dust. Nothing like the artificial pressure of wanting a new camera in time for John's birthday next weekend! All fuzzy photos below are from my iPhone.

This morning found John being Mr. Helpful. He kept cheerfully offering to assist with things, such as when I noted that two mysterious children had crunched up their dry cereal and spread it all over the floor. "I know! I'll go get the children's broom and sweep it up!" (Play a little game of "Where's Mary?"--a la "Where's Waldo?"--in the background of this photo. Where else would she be?)

The kids did their first leaf rubbings, creating a little decoration for the dinner table.

Sadly, it didn't work out for us to be with any other family this year, whether at their homes or ours, so I had a fairly light workload today, as far as Thanksgiving goes. We did a lot of hanging around, including in the back yard while watching the fire.

The turkey had been cooking a while, and at around 3:30 I got to cooking the rest of the dishes. Here the kids are watching the whipped cream being made in the mixer.

Each child asked, "What's this?!" upon arriving to the table, so I don't think they've ever seen me use a table cloth. At dinner, Chris and John read a list of things for which they are thankful.

We considered buying our Thanksgiving dinner pre-made, but I wanted to be a bit more Suzy Homemaker than that. However, I knew my limitations and that I'm halfway through a pregnancy, so I compromised by buying some easy items. The menu was: turkey (tried soaking the bird in brine for the first time this year), cinnamon-roasted sweet potatoes. Stove Top stuffing, green beans with bacon, macaroni and cheese, gravy, and frozen pre-made biscuits. Dessert was pumpkin pie, chocolate chip cookies from a mix, and whipped cream.

After dinner, we retired back outside to watch another fire and eat our dessert. Naturally where else would Mary sit to watch a fire but perched up on a fence?

The children were asleep by 7:45 p.m. and I don't think I'll last much later than that.

I Knew What He Was Trying to Say

From one melancholic to another:

John walked in with a note he had "written" to me, so I asked him what it said. He replied, "Some others don't love you, Mama, but I love you."

He repeated it about four times, including the part about how some others don't love me. I thanked him and hugged him and said that I love him too.

New Blue Blazer

Today I ventured into the local mall (which I can't help but think of as Sodom and Gomorrah) to buy John a new blazer for an upcoming wedding we're attending. I was able to buy him blazers in size 2 and 3 at the consignment store, but my checks over the last few weeks for a size 4 have been fruitless. Buying new--that's a foreign concept!

Unlike Mary, who has been expressing preferences over her clothing since 18 months old, John has expressed preference ("I don't like that") only a handful of times ever. I just dress him how I want. But when he saw this blazer, his eyes lit up. I had to beg him to let me take it off him so the cashier could ring it up. Then John asked if he could please wear it home, so my sweet boy marched through the mall, rode in the car, and went in and out of the next store on our list, wearing his smart looking blazer.

I couldn't help but think of Niles and Frasier Crane!

Virus Going Around

Last night it was dark and rainy out, I was very fatigued, and I felt like my eyeballs were covered in sand. It must have been bedtime, so I got the kids and I dressed in pajamas. Then I glanced at a clock.

It was 6:22 p.m. Oops.

After the kids were asleep, I unintentionally fell asleep on the couch by 8:30. Chris came down to tell me about something he saw advertised and I fell back asleep right in the middle of his talking. (I think that two new leather chairs might be showing up on our doorstep! Ha ha!) I gave up the fight and was in bed by nine.

This morning I have a sore throat and feel "off" and a little dizzy. I'm worried because I'm hearing reports from friends of a nasty virus zooming through our city and actually all over the country. Flu-like symptoms, vomiting, seriously weak muscles, chest tightness, hair that hurts, etc. We're not having any guests for Thanksgiving, which I was regretting, but now I'm glad there are low expectations in case we get sick.

All I know is that I'm going to get moving on cooking today in hopes of getting a lot done early.

Puzzles

John loves puzzles. This morning he came down to the kitchen but then soon disappeared into the den where I heard a heavy silence. I thought mischief might be occurring, but walked in to find him engrossed in puzzles, which he had spread out.

This is most of our puzzle collection, which I've bought mainly at consignment sales. John can now do puzzles of about 36 pieces.

He is now teaching Mary how to match the pieces.

And, as I think of how puzzles teach image matching and connecting, I am reminded to share that John is very recently showing a lot of interest in letters. There is a very wide range of normal for learning to recognize letters, learning their sounds, and learning to read. I personally know two children who truly knew all their letters and the sounds by 18-24 months old. But then reading as late as seven, eight, or nine is actually within normal (despite all the hysteria of a child not knowing how to write his own name two weeks into Kindergarten). I was reading by four years old, so even though I take a relaxed approach, it has been a little hard on my parental ego at times that John showed no interest or capability in recognizing letters or remembering what sounds they make. He still scribbles instead of drawing patterns or stick figures (apparently the scribbling stage can be "typical" up to about age five, but, of course, many children are drawing stick figures and writing their own names at age three).

But a few weeks shy of four years old, suddenly we've had many moments of interest. John will be staring at a cereal box and shout out that he sees three letters that are the same. Or he'll ask me what sounds certain letters make. He has started "writing" us messages and folding up the bits of paper, then passing them to us, back and forth (endlessly). So I've started telling him what fun it will be when he learns to read because then he can really write us notes and read the signs on the road that he's always asking me about. For the first time, he's responding with eagerness, that he does want to learn letters and to read! So I think after this glut of holidays I will try again some pre-reading activities and see if he enjoys them this time instead of rejecting them. And, of course, we still love reading time together every day!

Benefits of Siblings

This photo shows one of the kids' new games. They overturn the glider and sit inside the "cave" it makes or on top of it and pretend they are driving a train. There are many stops, getting off the train, and getting on the train.

I've been enjoying John and Mary's sibling relationship so much lately and it has me thinking about the benefits of siblings.

I remember when I was pregnant with Mary, I knew theoretically that I wanted more kids (and a big family) but nonetheless I felt like I'd ruined John's life. All I knew for sure was that my pregnancy and subsequent new baby would deprive John of an energetic mother, of nursing, of my full attention, and of my instant responsiveness. I cried at times. All the benefits of giving John a sibling were vague platitudes at best.

The transition was very hard indeed. God spaced the children 23 months apart (which I don't think is "close" despite how often I hear that at the grocery store--talk to all my friends with Irish twins or babies 15 or 18 months apart). Every time I nursed Mary, John flung himself to the ground and threw a screaming fit for as long as I was nursing the newborn. He was still waking a lot at night. I had never let my baby cry before and now I faced letting both my newborn and my toddler cry for stretches, depending on who I thought needed me more instantaneously. And then there was the really distressing period when Mary was six months to 15 months old when John hit her (hard) numerous times every single day. I had no idea how long that would last and the behavior required so much of my attention in order to discipline him every single time, no matter what I was in the middle of doing (while also working all my psychological tricks to calm John).

But now they are the best of pals, as they have been since Mary was about 18 months old. I get to do a lot of my chores while they are playing together nearby. They entertain each other, John concocts wonderfully imaginative games for them to play, they sing duets often, and make each other laugh all the time. No longer do I have to keep up constant conversation with my older child because the two of them talk to each other also (but don't get me wrong, John still asks me a zillion questions!).

Obviously, the atmosphere isn't bucolic at all times. Mary is sporting a bruise on her forehead right now that came from a certain big brother wielding a large object. But now the outright fights seem to happen only a couple times per week, and everything else I can help negotiate. My heart was singing the other day when we were at a play date with variously aged children and I heard Mary at only 24 months saying, "John is having a turn. I can't yank the toy. John has a turn, and then I have a turn. I wait here"--and she crouched and watched the toy with an eagle eye. She and John both seem to have really good sharing and turn-taking skills already. Often John offers food, toys, or gifts to Mary of his own accord. Just yesterday we were at a medical office and the woman (who works with children all day long) commented in amazement at how good John was with sharing because as soon as he had some yummy treat foods, he offered them to Mary on his own.

The kids wouldn't have these opportunities were it not for siblings. And perhaps that is why I'm enjoying this pregnancy more than my one with Mary. Now, the sickness and aches and pains are still really hard, and being laid up on the couch at times while the kids get dumped in front of television doesn't lessen just because I'm more cheerful. But I have zero feelings this time of having ruined the kids' lives, and I have long felt so excited to meet this new baby.

Now I'm really understanding better why so many of my friends say that having babies close together (whether that's two years or less or even Irish twins!) is really hard on Mama but usually makes for happily close siblings. And that is a big blessing!

Monday

You know your toddler is tired when she falls asleep on the floor at 11:30 a.m. Mary ended up taking an hour-long nap here. Note the little overturned glass bowl by her head: I had been in the kitchen eating a snack when I turned my back momentarily, who can remember why, I think it was to answer the phone. Then I began hunting around for my trail mix. Where was it? Where could it have gone? Truly, I turned the kitchen upside down and was mystified about where my chocolate-peanut-raisin goodness had vanished to. Only later did I notice the now empty glass dish by Mary, telling me that somehow she sneaked into the kitchen at just the right moment, saw an unguarded snack, and ran off with it!

The kids and I spent long hours outdoors in the afternoon. John spent considerable time experimenting with an old dry rotted log, poking at it with a plastic stick, when suddenly he poked through to an ant's nest! It was exciting for us all to see a seemingly endless stream of big red ants marching out of their log fortress. I hovered over the kids to make sure nobody got bit.

Another project John undertook was to traipse around the yard, "collecting flowers for God." He said we could place them in front of a crucifix. (And on a related note, Mary's latest is to demand, apropos of nothing, that we "pray for souls" and then she won't stop bugging us until we stop what we're doing and say prayers for the faithful departed and those in purgatory, while she has her little hands folded, and then makes the sign of the cross.)

Recently we bought a little fire pit which we placed on the deck, so we have been lighting fires most nights after dinner. We have so much fallen timber on our lot most of the time that we've hardly had to buy any wood at all. Now it is a fun game for the kids to collect logs for Daddy to burn (hence the ant-ridden log). Above is a photo of the kids bundled up, ready to venture out into the dark. Both kids are smiling a little bit oddly.

Finally I stocked us with ingredients for s'mores, so we made our first dessert treats over the fire pit. The kids were beyond happy!

Our Calendar Boy

Today we received a free calendar from our local Belmont Abbey. I almost didn't open the envelope because I really don't need yet another free calendar. I have calendars in the kitchen, the bedrooms, all over the place . . .

But I did open it and flipped it open to the middle . . . do you recognize this child? That's our John!

The April photo is of the Belmont Abbey Easter egg hunt, which I posted about on this very blog. I think this is so much fun!

Great Fun

This evening I was straightening the downstairs and walked past Mary, who told me, "It would be great fun to have a swimming pool." (Yes, she does talk that way at 24 months old!) I thought the comment was humorous, agreed with her that it would be "great fun," and proceeded upstairs to drop off a load of folded laundry.

Source of photo

I was upstairs for all of 60 seconds, then returned downstairs to silence--which is rarely good.

Then I heard the splashing.

I followed the wet sound to the laundry room, whose door I try to keep closed, but I had forgotten. Mary was sitting on the floor in a "pool" of water, as poured out of the cat's water dish. Boy, does she love to get a hold of that cat's water dish! She was splashing away in her pool, having great fun!

I should have listened to her.

Halfway There

I am 20 weeks pregnant now!

See here, here, and here for fetal development at this point. The baby has been discernibly very active since 16 weeks along and last night kicked so hard that I let out an audible noise and looked down at my belly.

Pruning the Japanese Maple

For my readers who are not gardeners, this post will probably be boring. But I have enough passionate gardeners in my family that I wanted to post about how I'm learning to prune.

We have a Japanese Maple, which needed serious pruning as it had overgrown our sidewalk. It was planted in a terrible spot, far too close to the house--and let me tell you how much bad planting choices (usually by developers) drive me nutty! I don't know why it is so hard to do the math that if a plant is going to grow, for example, to four feet in diameter, it should be planted two feet plus air space away from the house.

Anyway, since waiting the months required for the sap to stop running (a time when one shouldn't prune), Chris and I decided to try to learn how to prune properly in order to save more money on labor. This home came with landscaping that requires a lot of care month by month. I even created a garden binder that reminds me each month all the tasks needed for each plant in the yard. We studied some online videos about pruning Japanese maples, ordered a book, bought new tools, and asked questions of my aunt and dad, who are both extremely skilled gardeners.

Before

Before

Before

After: We made the bold choice to limb up the tree and take it back to a tree shape instead of a shrub shape. The shrubs have been so overplanted around our house, the last thing we need is another giant shrub. We're hoping to transplant the two Camellias currently on the other side of the sidewalk. (Why, oh why, were Camellia sasanquas planted in spaces walled in at 3'x3' when the plants grow 6-10' tall and 5-7' wide? To keep the Camellias in the space, we have to cut them so small that they don't get a chance to flower!)

After: I knew that the first thing I was supposed to cut were the dead limbs. But when I began, I couldn't find any dead limbs. After I brought the diameter in and limbed up the tree, I was finally able to crawl underneath and stare upwards. I stared and stared and finally dead branches began jumping out at me all over the place! Dead, dead, dead! I'd cut all that I could see, pause, stare some more, and find more dead branches. I bet the tree is much happier now without carrying all that dead weight, restricting air flow and sunlight.

After

After: I was anxious about what to do with the top of the tree. I could see some "wild hairs" coming out of the top. They looked a little funny, but I thought that they were probably limbs growing into the weeping arches they will be in a year or two. I decided to pause, study the tree more, and ask people who know more than me to examine these photos.