Little Moments

Random note: I discovered this morning that Mary can recite her numbers to six.

Baking cookies yesterday with Mama (and today we baked bread)

Enjoying her breakfast smoothie (whole plain yogurt, whole milk, strawberries, whey protein, honey)

Playing Mass together

Children at Mass

This morning's Mass experience was interesting. Chris sat with John up front and I sat with Mary in back. Mary behaved by far the best she has ever behaved.

We started out in the church and Mary basically sat on her behind the whole time, flipping through my notebook or a missalette quietly. (I don't bring toys or snacks, having tried those and found that my two kids in particular use them as a bigger distraction.) Once she asked to use the bathroom, so I took her out for that. She didn't cry out of scream once, but mostly whispered her little chattering. I was sitting with her, overjoyed that she seemed to be making it through a whole Mass at 21 months, when John didn't start doing that till around two-and-a-half.

But perhaps God wanted to make sure no pride snuck into my heart. We were seated in front of a woman perhaps in her 60s or 70s and perhaps long past remembering what it is like to have little children around. I could tell by her body language that she was highly irritated with Mary--seemingly with her mere presence since she was being such a good girl.

When we came back from the bathroom visit, a woman sitting behind the irritated woman, grabbed my hand as I walked past and whispered, "Would you like to switch with me? That woman is really upset with you." I gratefully accepted the offer, thereby setting me immediately behind the irritated woman instead of immediately in front of her. I'm sure she wished we were farther away.

Then I spent the remainder of Mass somewhat distracted, wondering if the woman would say something bold (like was said to a friend of mine once about her basically quiet toddler: "You ruined the Mass today!"). Should I apologize? Should I say, "I regret that you were distracted"? Should I be more challenging and ask her exactly what the problem was? I pondered these questions when I shouldn't have been, and then the woman never did say anything to me.

It was an interesting situation to me to see that there are pitfalls for pride everywhere (at least for me!) and that one can't please everyone ever. Here my daughter did fabulously and she's not even two years old, and still somebody found reason to be "very upset" with us.

I think there is a feeling creeping into Catholic parishes that children don't belong in Mass unless and until they can be silent and still (so, five, six, seven years old--even older judging by parents I see who troop their eight and nine year olds into the cry room at the start of Mass, to sit there, letting them play and eat snacks the whole time). Frankly, I think the notion is creeping in from our country's Protestant culture, as in Protestant churches it is more the norm to have "children's church" or Sunday school, so that children do not worship with their parents for years.

And that got me to pondering if that particular lack of welcoming of children in Mass is an effect of contraception being embraced by religions, starting with Protestant teachings being changed in 1920, and now among Catholics in practice, if certainly not in teaching (nor will it or can it ever be embraced in teaching). I imagined a culture where families were simply accepting of babies arriving every year or two and generally having big families: that just isn't going to be a culture that relegates children to arts and crafts rooms during worship of God. Also, that culture is going to understand the ages and stages of children and that they aren't still and silent from birth, but good behavior comes with maturity and teaching. But compare that to a culture in which virtually everyone is making sure they have their one or two children only on their own schedule, that culture is going to regard children as a nuisance, which is going to change how and where children are welcomed.

Maybe I'm on a wild sociological goose chase. These were my wandering thoughts during the latter half of Mass today because of a woman who probably wished we had "children's church"--when our parish doesn't have so much as a nursery, thank God!

At-Home Sunday

This is the kind of creativity Daddy exercises when Mommy and Mary are napping. (John loved it.)

Later we got a hankering for chili, so Chris went to the grocery store for ingredients . . . and took Miss Mary with him! That was the first time he's taken her on an errand. By her age, he was taking John on errands with him because I was pretty close to giving birth to Mary. But then we got into a habit that whenever Chris went on an errand, he took John with him to lighten my load. And why would he take nursing baby from nursing mama? But now Mary is 21 months and she still always stays home with me! Anyway, they had a great time together, as did John and I having some mama-son time. He and I played games we can't usually play with Mary around, such as stacking the tumbling blocks and knocking them down over and over again. It's very fun to knock down one's own tower, but it's torment to have one's little sister do it.

Later the kids painted and I think that was Mary's first time with water colors. To my astonishment, they shared really well, no one knocked over the rinsing water, and no one got into a paint fight.

In other news, Mary can now articulate tattling instead of just screaming. For example, today she came running in to find me to report on separate occasions, "John hit me!" and "John is kicking Daddy!" I think this ushers in a whole new dynamic of parenting that I'm not going to enjoy.

Baptism of Matthew Michael

Today we had the honor of attending the Baptism (in the old Latin rite) of Matthew Michael!

The children did surprisingly well during the quiet, intimate baptismal ceremony (20-25 people in attendance). John behaved nearly perfectly and needed correction only to stop shushing his sister so loudly. Mary was a little louder and I hope the baptism wasn't being videotaped because then one will forever hear in the background things like a loud, cheerful, "Hi Daddy! Hi Daddy!" coming from my daughter.

At one point during the baptism, the group had moved from the narthex to the church proper, and I stayed on the edge of the narthex with the kids so we'd be quieter. I noticed John wander over to the candles, kneel down on the marble, fold his hands, and pray. So when he was done I walked over just in time to help him light a candle, which he was doing on his own. He told me he prayed, so I asked him what he prayed: "A hail Mary." And who did you pray for? "For Mary and for you." Melt a mama's heart!

Resting on a bench after the ceremony before the reception

Our little friend Teresa, three months younger than Mary, was also at the baptism.

And here is the precious new child of God and member of the Catholic Church! Matthew's baptismal outfit was exquisite and handmade by his grandmother out of his mother's wedding gown. I couldn't stop admiring it.

End-of-Summer Swimming

Here it is, almost the end of summer, and we are swimming in our first proper at-home pool. The kids found this inflatable pool, new in a box, packed away somewhere, and came rushing over to me, John almost crying with joy, "Thank you! Thank you, Mama! Thank you for buying us this pool!" Well, who could resist that guilt trip? So we inflated it in the sun room, which seems like a great place. They're in the shade, so no sun burn worries. No dust or dirt will fall in the water. They can't leap out and get mud on their feet in the grass, then leap back into the clean water. And I can sit in a chair and read my book. It worked out great!

This was the first time Mary wore this cute hand-me-down swimsuit, which she named her "swim dress."

Lightbulb Moment

After days of hearing John ask me to build "egg glue," I just figured out that he meant "an igloo." Makes much more sense!

Outdoor Fun

This morning we found a big praying mantis on a chair by the play set.

I called the children over to look at the neat bug, but then admonished them not to get too close, don't let it touch them, don't touch it, and so forth. John asked if it bit or jumped and I had to answer that no, it wouldn't hurt them. So he wanted to know why he couldn't touch it. I'm so torn because I don't want to pass on an irrational, "girlie" fear of insects to the children, but they are simply so gross! If John touched a praying mantis and it crawled on him, I might just faint dead away, or more like I'd start shrieking "like a little girl" and jumping around.

Mary is already competent at climbing the metal ladder and the rope ladder up to the play set tower. Today she figured out the rock climbing wall. I took these awkward photos with my phone's camera before dashing over to be ready to catch her.

Here she is emerging on top. She also figured out how to stretch out from the rock climbing wall onto the platform. She climbed it over and over again.

Then we came inside and made hats, which was a craft request made yesterday.


Then we went back outside and John got entirely muddy riding this little wheeled garden caddy down the "big" grassy hill from our driveway toward our neighbor's house. This is wild fun for the boy!

Then John got out his tricycle and tried that going down the hill.

Baths were required at two thirty in the afternoon due to all the mud.

So Polite!

This week Mary has added "no, thanks!" to her repertoire of manners. It is so very cute to hear her reply to my questions with a cheerful, "no, thanks!" ("Do you need to go potty, Mary?" "No, thanks!") She says "please" often, and always if I remind her. She voluntarily says "thanks" when I give her things often, such as if I give her a second serving of food. This week she also began saying "sorry" ("sar-sar") spontaneously and appropriately instead of at my request, and that has been precious. If she crashes into me and I say, "Mary! Please be more careful!" she replies quickly, "Sar-sar, Mama." Melt my heart! All she needs know is to figure out "you're welcome" and "excuse me" and we're just about golden! Can I just say how glad I am to have started requesting polite language a whole year earlier with Mary than I did with John?

Little Adventurer Part II

I posted earlier about Mary climbing the outside of the stairs somewhat regularly: I'd say a couple of times per week (but often several times in a row when she's doing it and is determined). But she climbs the counters multiple times per day, which is driving me crazy. I can no longer be in the adjoining den and let her wander into the kitchen alone to play. I am now making my best effort never to leave knives or pizza cutters out on the counter because she climbs up in a flash and makes her way for the kitchen sink.

This photo is a reenactment: Note the stuffed animal perched on the edge of the upper landing. Mary has climbed out on that a couple of times, walking out as far as she can so then she's facing a fall almost all the way down the stairs. It really stops my heart when I turn around from folding laundry on the bed and see her there.

I have talked to moms much about this and there seems to be wide variety in how supervised their children are at different ages, and depends tremendously on maternal temperament, kid temperament, layout of the house, ages of kids, number of kids, and other factors. Some people still have baby gates up well beyond two years old and the toddler is never out of eyesight. Some people have been letting their toddlers play upstairs or downstairs alone with the other sibling(s) for months by Mary's ripe old age of 21 months old. I am lengthening my leash and very much wish I could let Mary go play with John out of my earshot, but I don't feel entirely comfortable because she has a daring attitude and lack of judgement--as evidenced by climbing out on the stairway landing!

McDowell Park August 2010

This was our first visit to McDowell Park in which I didn't even bring a baby carrier and let/expected Mary to walk the whole time. She made it more than three-quarters of our steep up-and-down one-quarter mile hike before asking me to carry her.

This is a new shaded sand box they've installed.

That's one big gall.

We ate a snack picnic at the new improved picnic area before going home.

John Doing Crafts

Discovering the joys of glue

This is a three-dimensional paper house John got to stand up using a lot of tape.

Little Adventurer

In 3-3/4 years of parenting, I think this is the first time a child has drawn on my walls. (My friend Sarah is laughing at me now.) I heard a "quiet" take over, then a scratch scratch scratch from the other room. I called out, "Mary? Are you drawing?" She answered, "On the wall!" Then for the next few minutes after I scolded her, she toddled around the house telling me, "I draw on wall! I draw on wall!"

This is a place where I find Mary on a somewhat regular basis. Twenty-one months old and you'll note she's as high as the top of the door frame. I don't have any grey hairs yet, but I think it's only a matter of time.

Safari in August 2010

We haven't been to the "safari" lately, so we visited today on a Sunday afternoon outing. First we stopped at a restaurant to eat.

Mary is now a really good age for the safari, as she realizes how exciting it is to see the big animals.

Llama up close

Water buffalo

How cute are the baby emu?

John took many photos.

Buffalo

Zebra

It was a fun family day before Chris went on his fifth business trip in as many weeks.

A Good Snack

What did Mary ask to eat for mid-morning snack?

"Lettuces" and "spicy" (Mama's homemade balsamic vinaigrette)--and she loved it and asked for four refills!

"I Wuv You, Daddy"

Today for the first time Mary began saying "I love you" in the form of, "I wuv you, Daddy." She was saying it repeatedly while pretending to call him on the phone, so I whipped out the video camera and caught only a couple of them.

"Spider in Mouth"

For a couple of weeks, Mary has been running up to me all in an upset, saying, "Spider in mouth! Spider in mouth!"

You can imagine that I was pretty distressed hearing such a thing.

It took me a while to figure out what on earth was going on because I didn't see any spiders in her mouth. It turns out that it is her hair, which is now long enough that it flies into her face and gets caught in her mouth. She hasn't yet figured out how to pull her hair out of her mouth, and it must feel like the sensation of spiders (a pretty brilliant concept, I think), so she comes shrieking to me for help.

I'm just glad that she's not eating spiders, let me tell you.

Peach Pie

This peach pie was pretty good. Mary really startled us all when she refused to eat it. Now I knew John wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole (which is why he was eating leftover ice cream cake I had made on Friday), but Mary? She eats anything and she loves fruit. But she adamantly refused and then said quite clearly, "I don't like it."

A hush fell over the table. Chris and I looked at each other. "Did she just say she doesn't like it?"

It's not that Mary has never had a food preference, but she's never articulated that she didn't like something, and that without even trying it first! Bad habits rubbing off from her big brother . . .

Back to (Home)School

Today when I was doing my grocery shopping at Wal-Mart, I noticed the great back-to-school sales on supplies, so got a few more crayons, scissors, and the like.

Then I was inspired to clear off some room from my increasingly stuffed home school shelves in the kitchen and put some supplies into plastic drawers I already had. I've now stored them in the pantry, which has a childproof handle on the door knob. John can get into it with a lot of effort, and mostly he just doesn't bother, so I think the system will be pretty safe for now.

I noticed that I really dropped off on doing little arts and crafts projects with John. Upon review, I think it is because Mary reached about a year old and began making project time with John very difficult because she simply couldn't do anything he was doing, yet she wasn't satisfied anymore to sit on the floor and play with baby toys. So, I just stopped. But now she is old enough that she can imitate him in her toddler way with crayons and markers, so I'd like to start anew with some more school-like projects. John really does enjoy them.