Deep Question of the Day

Just how many times in a row can John sing "Do-Re-Mi" from "The Sound of Music"?

Doe- a deer, a female deer
Ray- a drop of golden sun
Me- a name I call myself
Far- a long long way to run
Sew- a needle pulling thread
La- a note to follow so
Tea- a drink with jam and bread
That will bring us back to do oh oh oh

Thursday in the Garden

I was spring cleaning this week when I found two wool berets my dad gave me, probably nearly 20 years ago. The children think they are fabulous and John insisted on wearing one to the hardware store today (where we bought two more of those wonderful toilet seats!).

We spotted a hummingbird outside our kitchen window yesterday, so today I brewed up some nectar and put out a feeder. We've already had our first hummingbird guest, which John is sure was "five hummingbirds" (and not the same hummingbird coming back many times over the course of several minutes). We had many hummingbirds at my dad's house growing up, so I have a special fondness for them.

I know that not everybody cares so much about gardens, especially ones that aren't theirs! I have several serious gardeners in my extended family, so these photos are particularly for them. Above is a shot of some of our trees in the back yard. We recently had about nine large trees cut down to try to bring more sunlight into the property. I've worried that maybe that was too many, but then I counted that I think we have 39 trees remaining in the back yard alone. And that shade is why I cannot grow any vegetables, herbs, or fruit!

A random red rose has started flowering in a corner of the yard.

A happy little coral bell I recently planted in the back.

I learned how to propagate my hostas, so the hostas to the left and right of the center plant are new ones I just transplanted there. I'm hoping that the arc of hostas and vinca minor on the left and I'm-forgetting-the-name-right-now on the right will help define the path.

Farther along the path, you can see very healthy hostas (they're all over the yard), which is where I divided some out for transplanting.

The mahonia is so happy and succulent this time of year.

I don't know anything about settings or techniques of photography, but I thought this accidental result was striking. It was broad daylight, but for a few minutes the back yard was deeply shaded with a bright beam on sunlight on our Blessed Virgin Mary statue.

This tree (whose name I forget at the moment) has the most interesting ridged leaves to me.

Mud play with big brother--in which everyone had fun, despite Mary's sad expression in this photo

Happy children exploring

Tonight John asked if he could learn how to cut with a knife. We've made a few attempts at this lesson before, but this time John really took to it beautifully. He concentrated, he was careful, he cut pieces well--and, yes, Mama was closely supervising the whole time. I suspect that among my gamut of friends, some will be horrified that I let a three-and-a-half-year-old cut with a paring knife and others will wonder why it took me so long.

Building a Bridge

John, with lower lip stuck out in concentration, builds a bridge with toothpicks, cheese cubes, and playing cards. Secondarily, this acted as "feeding therapy" because it got the child who refuses to eat cheese at least to touch cheese, which is sensory input.

Surprises as Motivation

We're still struggling to teach John to pick up his toys. As a first-time mother, I definitely don't have a solid sense yet of at what age to require what degree of picking up how many toys and in how many rooms (since there are toys in the bonus room, the den, and two children's bedrooms) and how often (sometimes, daily, before each meal).

One thing we have discovered is that John strongly resists force to make him clean up. We've "helped" him by dragging around his limp body, forcing his hands to pick up toys. We've put him in ten time-outs in a row. We've spanked him. We've taken away toys. He is so stubborn! Honestly, I wonder if this is a temperament thing because as a child (and still sometimes as an adult), I was known for "cutting off my nose to spite my face." At times I'd simply rather have died than do the thing my parent wanted me to do, even though I knew he or she was right. I often think John would rather suffer anything than be forced.

Very recently we've discovered a new motivation that is (so far) working wonders for John. He loves to surprise a parent! So at the end of the day, Chris will ask John if he wants to surprise Mama by cleaning up the toys in the den. John gets a twinkle in his eye, jumps at the chance, and ushers me into the kitchen, where I am to wait for my "surprise." He'll come in several times to make sure I am still waiting and won't come in until the surprise is ready. Then he calls me in to a gleaming perfect room and I heap praise on him while he beams with pleasure. I've even spied on him while he is preparing the surprise of a clean room and I see that he outright runs around picking up--a great contrast to his paralysis at other times when we ask/command him to clean up.

Even with Chris out of town, I've discovered that John still absolutely refuses to pick up his toys . . . until I ask him if he'd like to surprise me. He's thrilled to do it!

This tactic has also worked when John is resistant to eating a food. It doesn't work "like magic" (wouldn't that be great?) but if there is any hope of him eating a food that is terrifying to him, it will be if the rest of the family leaves the room and one parent stays behind to cheerfully plot a surprise for the other parent. "Won't Daddy be surprised when you tell him that you ate a bite of mashed potatoes? I can hardly wait till you tell him!"

I don't really know what to make of surprise being such a motivation for John. Is it spiritually a good thing? Should he learn to obey regardless, even without this fun motivation? Or is it just a wonderful thing at this age (three) that anything makes John willingly do a task? I figure that pleasing a parent is a good motivation (more morally good than, say, bribing with a toy or food) and is a mirror image of the motivation of pleasing God. I'm just happy that we've found some motivation that works for the timebeing!

A Royal Proposition

John (3 years 4 months, said in earnest): "I propose that I need to go back to my castle now."

Sunday Back at Home

After the conference, we rushed back Saturday night, arriving home around midnight because Chris had a business engagement starting on Sunday.

The kids and I before Mass (even with John's strange smile, this was the best photo of the bunch)

The weather is gorgeous today, so the kids spent some time outdoors. Lately I've had our yellow wagon (generously handed down to us by our friends the W----s, who were moving away) filled with dirt and parked in the back yard. The kids have spent countless hours simply scooping that dirt! (And they've been going through about three outfits per day.) Then it rained, so now the wagon is filled with muddy water, which is even more satisfying to them than dirt.

Catholic Home School Conference 2010

This weekend we went to the fourth annual Catholic Homeschooling Conference in Georgia. I forgot my camera, so you will just have to trust me that there were many lovely moments when the kids were playing with their aunt, uncle, cousins, and grandparents--including a marshmallow cookout and making of s'mores in the back yard. And you'll miss photographic evidence that Mary got one heck of a shiner (first purple, then black, now green) when she tripped and fell into the metal bed frame.

The conference was informative, inspiring, and invigorating for me. I came away feeling full of idealism and pragmatic ideas, ready to take on the world--or at least the little patch of the world that is our home! I got to see friends and friendly acquaintances, plus meet educators and mothers whom I admire. There were at least three sessions about which I thought that if I went to nothing other than that session, it would have been worthwhile to travel to the event.

Upon arriving home, I reorganized my school shelves in the kitchen. The books from right to left are general home schooling books for the parent (reasons to home school, schools of philosophy, methods, domestic liturgy), curriculum books for preschoolers and kindergartners (poetry, easy readers, books of saints), and books of music (lyrics of traditional hymns, patriotic songs of Americana, and folk music). After I read through the stack of my newly acquired books from the conference weekend, I will incorporate them into my bookshelf!

Now I am left with the delightful but brain-twisting task to try to decide which curriculum I want to try when John starts school officially in two or three years (age 4-3/4 or age 5-3/4). I am deeply attracted to the Classical Method, which would make me lean toward using Mother of Divine Grace or Kolbe (the latter of which has an Ignatian bent, which I like). However, I am also very drawn toward the traditional Catholicism embodied by Our Lady of Victory School, which is a traditional program. (In fact, as I was looking over the curriculum for OLVS, I realized that unintentionally I have already purchased over the last year or two half of the books required for Kindergarten! My heart is really drawn to the culture of the program.) As Chris said to me, and what most parents do, "why don't you just mix and match for a few years?"

Videos of Mary

Per request, I've been trying to catch Mary on video snorting her 'yes.' It is quite difficult because she is so rapidly replacing her snort-snort 'yes' with nodding. Below are some everyday videos of Mary at 17 months old.


Here I was asking Mary some yes/no questions about her snack in hopes that she'd snort, which she didn't do.


In the middle of this video, Mary does snort-yes one time, and you also get to see an example of her initiating the game of pat-pat-pat the baby doll.


More pat-pat-patting of the baby.

How to Make a Mama Cry

Scene: John is playing with plastic dinosaurs and sees Mama lay down on the sofa and cover her eyes.

John: "Mama, why are you laying down?"

Katherine: "I have a headache, honey."

John: "Why?"

Katherine: "I don't know. Would you kiss my forehead?"

John: "Sure!" Runs over and kisses Mama's forehead. "I'm going to pray now." Ever the private boy, John goes a few feet away, turns away from Mama, and kneels. "Dear God, please help Mama with her headache to feel better." Runs back to Mama. "I prayed to your guardian angel. And this dinosaur stands on his hind legs. Roar! Roar! Roar!"

Mama's eyes get all misty.

The Little Things in Life

Commercial photograph, not our bathroom

Sometimes it's the little things in life that bring a big smile to one's face! Today we bought the Bemis Next Step toilet seat for our downstairs toilet. I was so excited that I actually danced around the house and sang a song.

This seat has a built-in smaller seat for children, so one no longer needs a separate children's potty (like the Baby Bjorn we've been using) or an insert. A long time ago, John had willingly used an insert, but one time he and the insert fell into the toilet and he was so distressed that he'd never used it since. Keeping a children's potty clean is such a hassle that I'm really excited to have this new seat in which both kids (they've already tried it out!) feel totally secure and safe.

For big families that have many small bottoms over the years, I think this toilet seat would be so useful!

Wonder of Worms

We spent hours in the garden again yesterday and found many lively worms. There were two notable moments:

John was holding a fat, squiggling worm when he commented to me, "It feels like an apple." Narrow-minded adult that I am, I almost burst out with a correction, "No, it does not feel like an apple." Thank goodness I bit my tongue and asked, "In what way does it feel like an apple?" He answered, correctly, "The worm is wet. Like an apple."

With a later hapless worm playmate, John suddenly shouted with glee that there were actually two worms! "I thought it was just one worm, but then I realized it was two worms stuck together! And now they are apart!"

Actually, there had been only one worm.

Pigtails

Happy Birthday, Grandmom!

We couldn't be with Grandmom in Atlanta for her birthday, but we sang to her anyway.

This turned out to be an excellent recipe for gingerbread, from the April 8, 2010, edition of the Living on a Dime Newsletter. I look forward to trying the instruction that the batter can be frozen, then popped into the oven while one is eating dinner in order to have fresh gingerbread right after dinner or for company.

Never Fail Gingerbread

I like this recipe because you can mix it all, pour it into the pan and freeze. Then when you want some, simply pull it out of the freezer and bake it. This is great to bake at those times when you want the house to have a nice yummy smell to it. It's a great way to welcome everyone home after a long hard day!

1/2 cup water, boiling

1/2 cup shortening

1/2 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup molasses

1 egg, beaten

1/2 tsp. salt

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp soda

3/4 tsp. ginger

3/4 tsp. cinnamon

1/4 tsp. cloves

1 1/2 cup flour

Pour boiling water over shortening and stir. Add brown sugar, molasses, and egg. Sift the remaining ingredients and then add to the liquids. Beat with a mixer until smooth. Bake in a greased 8x8 pan at 350° for about 35 minutes; until toothpick comes out clean when inserted into center. If it is frozen, place it in the cold oven (don't pre-heat) and then set the oven to 350°. (This defrosts it more gradually so that it still cooks correctly.) It will take about 45-50 minutes to cook. Again, check with a toothpick.

Elusive Time

Sweet John still doesn't understand time. We have a professional pruner coming this morning and John knows that when Mrs. M---- arrives, we all get to go play outside. With great excitement, John told Daddy, in rapid succession:

"Mrs. M---- is coming in one week! She is coming in two minutes! She is coming next year! Mrs. M---- is coming for a month!"

Baking Soda Vinegar Experiment

An empty wine bottle and the fact that I was baking a cake inspired Chris to quickly put together a vinegar and baking soda experiment for the kids. (The red color is food dye, not leftover dregs of wine.)

The New Remote-Controlled Car

Mary, Our Girl

Mary is definitely proving her femininity and how much of that is nature, not nurture. Children don't have a concept of gender for years (John figured out that he is a boy a few months ago), so it's certainly not possible that Mary is modeling herself after me because she knows we are females.

For example, Mary takes great interest in my makeup. John always liked to play with my makeup, but mostly as the items were things to manipulate. In contrast, Mary already daily imitates putting on makeup herself--and once got into my lipstick and properly applied it to her lips!

The most precious of all is Mary's interest in dolls. I recall that John only began to show vague interest in a stuffed animal at 18 months old, but really didn't embrace a lovey until two years old (and then he dropped it six months later). In contrast, Mary began hauling around dolls (and things that she could pretend were dolls) before one year old. She really likes the felted saint dolls I bought the kids for Easter and shrieks "baby!" when she spots them. She has invented her own game (which you'll note involves interaction with another person, not playing by herself) in which she leads me to the couch, where we sit down with the "babies." She always hands me Baby Francis first and she takes Baby Mary. Then she instructs me to "pat pat pat" the baby on the back, so we hold our babies against our hearts--gently, just like a real baby--and "pat pat pat." Then we give the babies a kiss, and then she indicates that we should exchange our babies. Repeat this game many times. The only doll John ever took interest in was his potty training doll and, really, he was interested because he could manipulate it to pass water!

Mary shows some sweet female behaviors, but she's also adventurous, rough and tumble, and hardly notices when she gets injured. It's neat for me to watch nature at work!

Mary in the Affirmative

For several months, Mary has communicated "yes" by snorting her nose delicately twice in rapid succession. I have no idea how she came up with this method, but it works very well for us.

"Mary, are you hungry?"

Snort, snort!

"Do you want toast?"

Shakes head vigorously

"Do you want apples?"

Snort, snort!


I've commented to Chris that her little double-snort is so cute, I'll be sad when she learns to nod her head or speak "yes," and stops snorting. Indeed, in the last couple of days, Mary has begun nodding "yes." She nods with such stiff exaggeration, bowing low and jerking up again high, that she usually loses her balance and tumbles to the ground. But the message is received!

Change In Plans

One of the things I've become familiar with as a mother is when everything comes screeching to a halt. I used to (and sometimes still do) feel suddenly angry and resentful that my plans have been changed. Now I try to think of these moments as, "Oh, so this is what God wants me to be doing right now! I had no idea!"

What Had Been on Today's To-Do List

Cook Cuban black beans for dinner guests tomorrow night
Scrub the deck furniture with soap and water
Last-minute trip to the grocery store for a couple of items for dinner tomorrow
Mix gingerbread batter and freeze, to bake tomorrow

What God Wanted Me To Do Today

Sit all day near my three-year-old who vomited eleven times (so far)
Keep my so-far-healthy one-year-old from pestering three-year-old
Ask boy to take sips of water throughout the day
Send husband to the drug store to buy box of 120 latex gloves
Watch a lot of cartoons
Read children's books aloud
Disinfect often
Launder many cleaning rags
Cancel our dinner guests for tomorrow
Replace the difficult-to-wash comforters on the bed with easy-to-wash cotton blankets, just in case
Ask the house cleaners to come next week instead of tomorrow

Homeschooling Day at Latta Plantation

"April 14, 2010 (10am-4pm) Spring Homeschool Day: Spring is a busy time on the plantation! Visit Latta's Spring Homeschool Day and learn about all that happened on 19th century farms and plantations in the spring, including plowing and planting, baby animal arrivals, shearing sheep, processing the wool, and much more! Enjoy presentations throughout the day of sheep shearing, spinning, weaving, dyeing, planting, and springtime chores. See the plantation house and outbuildings, visit the farm animals, and honeybees. Homeschoolers can also make sheep magnets using real wool, and participate in a planting activity. We invite families to make a day of it and bring a picnic lunch, tour the circa 1800 plantation house and outbuildings, and visit rare and endangered breeds of livestock. Activities will be ongoing throughout the day. Admission is $5 per person, ages 4 and under are free. NO RSVP REQUIRED!"

We visited the bees (and elsewhere there was a discussion and display of bee products) . . .

. . . the chickens . . .

. . . and the cows and horses.

John got to make his very own magnet using a tuft of real sheep's wool.

We watched a sheep be sheared, during which the only way John could see was to place him on my shoulders. Chris does that often and I hadn't realized how much strength it requires!

I've forgotten how shocked I was at the rampant Christianity I discovered when I moved to the South. I was reminded again today when my California ears perked up to hear the man who tends the sheep at the plantation (the shepherd?) spend five minutes discussing how humans and sheep are very much alike, as God knows, and how one can learn a lot about both by reading the Bible, Psalms in particular. And the crowd acted like the Bible was a perfectly normal thing to discuss for five minutes at a sheep-shearing exhibition! Believe me, you don't hear that on the West Coast.

During the sheep-shearing exhibition, my modern girl (who couldn't see through the crowd anyway) played with my iPhone.

John was really doubtful that people ever cooked food in this pot hung over a fire. "People don't cook with fire!"

"Smile, Mama!"

John perched on the well

The kids ran here . . .

. . . and there . . .

. . . to . . .

. . . and fro.

It was a surprisingly chilly day, which is why you can see one of John's tee-shirts peeking out from under Mary's dress. When we arrived at the plantation, I had to dress her in whatever I could find in the car, poor bare-legged girl! At lunchtime we retreated to the van, lifted the tailgate, and ate a picnic in the back, which the kids (forever being admonished not to play in the van) thought was wildly exciting. Then we headed home.

It was a good day.

Sometimes at Their Convenience

Yesterday I had a nice mother moment in which I actually stopped to just be. I had been batch cooking and was very tired (and let me comment that I now have in my freezer individual servings of chili and beef stew, as well as 17 hamburger patties, six mini meatloaves of two to three servings each, and about 20 meatballs). The past few days I've been depriving my three-year-old of a nap because, even though he is yawning and exhausted by the noon hour, if I let him have his nap then he spends from 8:00 to 10:00 p.m. in bed reading, playing, and calling to us a dozen times--thereby ruining any time without children we were trying to have, as by the time he is finally asleep we have to go to sleep! And yet the little guy is still often awake at 6:00 a.m.! So, I've been depriving him of his nap, which makes for an awfully long day, but then he just about passes out by eight o'clock.

Here it was four o'clock and I sat down on the couch to nurse Mary. John ran over to me crying for no apparent reason, and he snuggled into my side. Within moments, Mary fell asleep and then I noticed John's breathing unmistakably rhythmic and quiet: asleep! I was trapped under two sleeping kiddos, with no television remote or book in my hands to entertain me, plus I needed to start cooking dinner. I sat there grumpily wanting to do something about all of this.

But then it occurred to me that I really don't know how many times I'm ever going to have my babies fall asleep on me all at once like a pile of puppies. I sat there imagining when there would be a third child in the mix and how there will come to be so much chaos in the house, how often could it really happen that kids would fall asleep in my arms so easily like that? I always want snuggles and hugs from the kids on my terms, at my convenience. Here they wanted my arms at their convenience.

So, I decided just to sit there, let my mind wander, let them sleep on me, and let dinner be half an hour late. Someday when I'm an old lady, God willing, I will have no clue whether dinner was on time or whether we ate frozen, storebought corn dogs that night, but I won't regret an armful of sleeping children. It was a really sweet moment for me.

Nicknames for Mary

Don't ask me why, but for some reason our first born daughter has been subjected to an unending assignment of nicknames. Our son John may have had a few... but nothing compared to Mary. Below is a list of nicknames that Katherine and I have given our daughter over the past 17 months. I am sure she will appreciate these when she is older :-).

Ziggy Mary
Zigg-a-Dig
Ziggidy
Fatty

Fatty Girl
Fatty McBottom
Mary Monster
Sweet Pea
Zootles
Zooties
Miss Bits
Nakedy

Nakedy Bottom

Gardening With the Kids

The plants are waking up with the warmer weather and the yard work is beginning in earnest! On Saturday we hired a woman from our parish to prune our shrubs and lend advice. We spent the first entire hour simply making one loop around the house, discussing all our plants: this woman knows a lot! I worked alongside her for a subsequent three hours, most of the time with ~27-pound Mary on my back while Chris occupied John. Let me tell you, I was so sore the next day from all that stooping, squatting, and lifting!

Today I took the kids to a local nursery to buy some plants. For any of my local blog readers, I'd like to recommend Rountree Plantation Nursery. It is a professional nursery, one of those gems that hides in a ratty part of town--the way I think the best nurseries almost always do. The staff was friendly and approached me repeatedly to offer help. Absolutely everyone working there, even the lower level workers, was highly knowledgeable about plants, techniques, care, and design. The plants were organized well and were in fantastic shape. Everything looked vibrant and well-tended; none of the plants I bought were root-bound.

When we got home from the nursery, Chris set up my dirt mixing station.

I made three such big batches of dirt to amend into our dense red clay.

We planted various begonias in the kitchen window box, and they should grow about eight inches tall. I didn't take a "before" photo but envision old, dead dirt filled with weeds.

Before: The top of the driveway is home to a half dozen pink shrub roses. We recently had about eight tall trees cut down right behind this fence, so we're hoping the increased sunlight will allow those roses to finally start to fill out perhaps over the next two growing seasons.

I planted four clumps of white sweet alyssum. How I love the smell of that plant! It reminds me of my childhood.

If they get enough sun, they should fill out into large, fluffy clumps.

Before: This strip is to the left of the driveway, just above the mailbox. It contains some Liriope (Monkey grass), little grass-like plants with purple flowers, and Nandina.

This spot is one of the only places on our whole lot that gets full sun, so I planted an itty bitty rosemary bush.

If it survives, it should grow into a big, beautiful, lovely smelling shrub.

At the nursery, John picked out some mondo grass and asked if we could buy it. I wanted to cultivate his interest in gardening, and the plant was selling for $3 and seems to do well in the shade, so I bought it. I've since learned that I planted the grass wrong (see in the upper right, above the arc of hostas) and needed to separate out the sprigs and plant them a bit farther apart, so I'll go back and fix that.

Close up of mondo grass

For the last two years I have planted annual color spots on either side of the walkway to the front door. It is a tremendous amount of work to dig 40 little holds for begonia or impatiens. This year I decided to try one big plant on either side, something that would be a perennial and provide some interest, although likely would not be as colorful as vibrant annuals.

I chose Heuchera 'Amethyst Myst.' These holes were a bear to dig for several reasons: We were in the front yard, so I had to keep an eagle eye on my children so they wouldn't run into the street. The ground is hard packed. The ground is full of thick roots from the trees and rocks.

My hope is that the dark purple leaves against the light green shrubs against the dark green Otto Luyken laurel will look interesting.

And, yes, I did manage two little children for four hours of gardening all by myself! I involved them as much as possible (which quite challenged my levels of patience because you can imagine how well a three-year-old and one-year-old can follow directions when gardening). For about two critical sessions, I buckled Mary into the red wagon so she couldn't get into trouble. The kids got very, very messy. Toward the end I let them play with the hose, which was a big hit! Look at the joy on their faces!

After those four long hours, I took our bedraggled selves indoors, got us in clean, dry clothing, washed our hands, and plunked the kids in front of a DVD. I put the sound on low and dimmed the lights in expectation that they'd probably fall asleep for naps, which Mary did within ten minutes! Unfortunately, John never did, but that means I will be rewarded tonight with a boy who actually falls asleep around seven or eight o'clock.