Lunch Guests

Today my friend Lynne and her four children (plus one on the way) stopped by for lunch in the middle of her 10-hour drive. We had a great time! After they left, John kept signing "MORE kids!" (He only signs MORE now when he really wants to emphasize his point.)

Mary having tummy time and holding her head up like a champ . . . (she can hold her head up much better than this, but she was really tired right before her morning nap):

Erica Went Home

Aunt Erica flew home on Sunday and I am so sad. It sure is hard living so far away from family.

I said several times that having her here was like being on vacation for me, but I was thinking only of how I had someone else washing my dishes and helping with chores. The first morning after she'd gone home, I realized it was also lovely having her presence (and my stepdad's just prior) because someone was always here to give attention to the kids. Monday morning I was back to the unavoidable situation of two babies crying at once with legitimate needs and my being unable to help both at once. I needed to get some important thing done in that moment, Mary was screaming in the sling to nurse, John was weeping at my feet about something else, I couldn't hear John over Mary's cries so I began shouting, "I CAN'T HEAR YOU! WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT DO YOU NEED, HONEY?" And then I figured out what he needs only to have to shout over Mary's crying that I can't help him right now anyway. It makes a mama want to sit down and cry herself. Or go hide in a closet.

The Right Tool for the Job

Tonight John was repeatedly trying to poke at Mary's face until I had to tell him not to touch her face at all. He was distressed and pointed to a booger in Mary's nose and said, "rice!" I explained, "No, John, that's not rice, it's a booger." He repeated "booger" somberly and I thought, oh great, now boogers are on his radar. So then John asked me to take the booger "off!" and I told him not to worry, it would fall out on his own. He insisted, "Mama, off!" I showed him that it wouldn't be easy to take off and not to worry.

Then John suggested I use nail clippers to remove the booger. I said no and he proceeded to suggest I use a screwdriver or a hammer. I had to squelch my smile lest he misinterpret that I was giving any approval. I told him it was a VERY BAD idea to use nail clippers, a screw driver, or a hammer on Mary's nose. I said that we only use soft tissue on noses and I showed him tissue.

And then I whisked Mary and her booger to another room so I could laugh in private.

Anniversary Dinner

Our third-year wedding anniversary is next week so we took advantage of Aunt Erica's being here to have her babysit John tonight so we could celebrate at a nice restaurant. Mary tagged along with us.
At the restaurant, photo taken with a cell phone camera:

Highlights of our third-anniversary dinner: Ten-week-old Mary slept on the drive to the restaurant. Mary slept through the dinner. Mary woke up as we loaded into the car and spent the drive home cooing and giggling.

Highlights of our first-anniversary dinner: Six-week-old John cried all the way to the restaurant. John cried as we walked in from the parking lot, so I stayed outside with him while Chris put our name on the list for a table. By the time Chris came out to get me, John was still crying and so was I, so we went home. John cried on the whole drive home too. I sent Chris out for Mexican food take-out. John kept crying, so Chris and I took turns walking with him while the other person ate.

Poor little John! He had a rough time as a little baby and so did we. He and Mary have decidedly different temperaments, from what I can tell so far.

Big Girl

Mary wearing some new pajamas (thanks so much, Ashley!):
Mary is mostly in six-month clothing now (as below). She's ten weeks old. I think my kids must have abnormally chubby arms. The first thing that doesn't fit in any given outfit is the sleeves. Note how Mary's arms are squeezed into her sleeves like sausages.

John being snuggly:

Having Erica visiting is like being on vacation for me. She helps with the kids all the time. She helps me cook (and would do all the cooking if I would let her). She washes all the dishes and puts them away. She quietly picks up toys when I'm not looking. I love her for many other reasons, but her helpfulness is so enjoyable for me too!

Mary Warms Up

Today Mary was content to let Erica hold her for about ten minutes. So sweet. I've been on the lookout for an Easter outfit, so I bought this one (for $4.50!) at a consignment store today. I hope it fits Mary at the time!

Operation Storm Watch and Aunt Erica

Aunt Erica arrived from Oregon at the same time as our own Charlotte-sized "blizzard"! Here is Erica meeting Mary, who is currently quite a Mama's girl and doesn't want anyone else to hold her.
John woke up Tuesday morning to discover snow outside and that Aunt Erica had arrived in the middle of the night. How exciting! Watching her bundle him up for the snow reminded me of that scene in "A Christmas Story" . . .

John's first sleigh ride!

This is the rock in the yard where John likes to sit and think about matters.

Hot cocoa after playing in the snow!

On Monday, Neil's last morning here, we took the commuter train from our suburban area to downtown.

We walked around downtown, stopping at this fountain, before eating lunch at a restaurant.

Then it was time to take the train back to our car and drive Neil to the airport. As we were driving away, I could hear John in his car seat, with his plaintive, tiny toddler voice saying, "Bye, Grampa . . . bye, Grampa . . ."

This evening, Chris took some cute video of two-month-old Mary cooing, as she was making friends with the orange fish (when normally she only has eyes for the green whale):

As I post this to the blog, Chris is at the airport picking up Aunt Erica who will be visiting for a week! I told him that I hope they don't get lost in a snow drift. Charlotte is predicted to receive one to five inches of snow tonight, so the grocery store was a mad house when I was there this afternoon and the talk radio station kept talking about Operation Storm Watch: "We have our reporters stationed all over the city, ready to report all storm conditions to you!" It's all very dramatic.

Fun on Sunday

Chris was out of town on Sunday, so I left John with Neil and enjoyed going to Mass "alone" (well, with Mary, but she's pretty quiet). When I came home, John was enjoying coloring with Grampa Neil.
Later they played race car:

Safari with Grampa Neil

On Saturday we went to the safari with Grampa Neil. We are having a cold snap here, so there were only about three vehicles in the parking lot. Some animals were so cold that they were noticeably absent (locked away in barns for warmth?), but other animals that could handle the cold were out and hungry, so they flocked around our car.

Neil was very brave about feeding animals right out of his hand (not even out of the bucket) and letting them stick their heads inside the car. I was one nervous mama!

Brain Rot

You know your brain is slowly rotting away when you say to your husband or wife, "Hey, have you seen that episode of Max and Ruby when Ruby has the hiccups? Oh, it's a really funny one! See, first what happens is . . ."

And, you know, the other spouse is actually interested in what happened on the cartoon aimed at preschoolers.

Grampa Neil Meets Mary

My stepdad Neil is here from California and we're so happy about that! He flew in on a red eye, so Chris and John picked him up at 6:30 a.m. and then we all went for breakfast at an old-timey diner a mile from our house. Here is Neil meeting Mary: John has a special reading spot in his room. He climbs up on top of his cardboard box house and, if he's by himself, just sits up there and reads.

But John is not alone and he is eating up all the attention from Grampa Neil. John is having so many books read to him and games played with him! And Mama feels like she is on vacation, having to take care of only one baby!

Well Baby Visits

Today John and Mary had well-baby checks. Here are their fun numbers:

John

Weight: 28 pounds 6 ounces = 56th percentile

Height: 2 feet 10 inches = 35th percentile

Head circumferences: 19.5 centimeters = 71st percentile

Mary

Weight: 12 pounds 10 ounces = 97th percentile (!!!)

Heigth: 22.5 inches = 77th percentile

Head circumference: 16 centimeters = 95th percentile

Chris and I are grateful to God for the health granted to our children.

John Helping Mary

John has begun trying to soothe Mary when she is crying. Sometimes he does things which are decidedly not helpful, but he has a helpful heart, so I'm letting him try with my supervision. This morning Mary was in her swing and was mildly fussing while I brushed my teeth. I saw John getting some items to "share" with Mary. He likes to put toys or objects right up next to her and say, "share! share!" (which is sort of odd because we don't push "sharing" or talk about it much at his young age). Anyway, first he "shared" his shoes (because Mary would like those so much?) and then his potty training doll. Then John turned the swing on to swing slowly and turned on the music and lights. I was standing in the bathroom a few feet away pretending to brush my teeth while I watched carefully to make sure he didn't put the shoes or doll on Mary's face (which he does sometimes!) or anything else dangerous. It was so sweet to watch him puttering around her! And, indeed, Mary stopped fussing.

Made Mama Cry

This passage made me cry last night:

"Someone once remarked that 'childhood is such a wonderful period in life, that
it is a shame to waste it on children.' It is a wonderful time and any
parent who fills it with fear and punishment is a wretched person. To stem the
natural joy that bursts from little hearts is the height of folly. There will be
long, dreary years ahead, in which the parent would give anything to hear that
boisterous carefree voice again and deem it an honor to pick up scattered toys
and clothing. Don't wait until the nest is empty to appreciate your children.
They live in childhood's carefree days but once, and they pass, oh, so quickly,
never again to return!"

The paragraph is from Sins of Parents: Counsels on Marriage and Youth Guidance by Fr. Charles Hugo Doyle (1951). That one paragraph alone would give a misleadingly narrow idea of the tenor of the book, which advocates things like marriages staying together because of the devastation wrought on children from divorces (the first 40 pages out of 200 are on that subject alone!) and quite firm discipline (teaching) but not punishment of children. Anyway, I'm enjoying the book and that passage rather sent me over the edge, causing me to think of every time I'm irritated by normal toddler behavior from my sweet boy.

Mary Smiling

Someone gave me this precious Laura Ashley hand-me-down when I was pregnant with John and we didn't know what gender baby we were having. I've been waiting two years to see if I'd have a girl and this winter I have one, but it's a summer outfit! So, yes, before putting the outfit away in a bin, I dressed Mary into a summer outfit just to take a photograph. And, yes, the outfit does have an adorable sash in back which Mama tied into a bow. And, finally, yes, Mary did spit up on the outfit in the two minutes she was wearing it.

Now this is a good video of eight-week-old Mary smiling at Mama!

My Two Babies

I was on the lookout for behavioral "reversion" in John after Mary was born, but I don't think I've seen any. He has, however, tested whether he's allowed to use the novel baby equipment in the house. He repeatedly tried climbing into Mary's little swing and bouncy seat, but I kept telling him that they were for babies and he was too heavy of a big boy. A couple of days ago, I walked into the room to find he had dragged a stool over to Mary's bassinet and climbed in (Mary not being there, of course).

Also this weekend, John saw me wearing my Maya wrap empty: Mary is in it so often that, even when I can set her down elsewhere, I tend to keep wearing my Maya so I don't lose track of it. John asked if he could fit in the sling: "Fit? Fit?" I haven't worn John in a sling since he was about 18 months old and became too heavy for my tired pregnant body. But this time I was able pick up John, pop him into the sling, and he thought it was the most novel, humorous thing ever! Funny how children can't remember all the backbreaking sacrifices we make for them: imagine my John thinking that my carrying him in a sling is something new!

Mary and John after Mass (beautiful cranberry-colored bonnet courtesy of dear friend Elaine):

Hindsight is 20/20

I try to keep this a "family show," so to speak, and avoid much political commentary. But today I'm going to post a link to this article and I'll leave it to speak for itself.

Pill Inventor Slams . . . Pill

Dressing Up My Doll

I've been thinking about a particular outfit I bought Mary at my consignment sale trip a few days ago and considering dressing her in it for Mass next Sunday. (Yes, this is the kind of thing I think about since having a baby girl.) Yesterday I bought her first pair of tights and I couldn't wait for her to try on the ensemble, so I got her all dressed up for nothing today. Mary woke from a nap, wanting to nurse. Instead, I promptly took off her clothes, changed her diaper, then put on four layers: tights, then onesie, then adorable diaper cover, then corduroy dress.

As I grabbed my camera, Mary began screaming to nurse, she was really hungry. Selfish mother that I am, I thought, "I don't want to nurse her yet! If I nurse her, she will spit up on her dress before I can take a picture of it!" But she was crying by then, which would have made an awful picture, so my little daughter won that argument.

This is an outfit entirely impractical for a newborn--but so cute! Note the ruffled edges, embroidered roses, eyelets, and velvet bows. What is even sillier is that I wear Mary in my Maya wrap everywhere I go, so nobody ever sees her outfits, just her little head popping up out of a cocoon of black fabric!
John tried to make her smile for the camera.

And then I took off all the layers and put Mary back into her comfortable one-piece sleep-and-play outfit.

Cute Girl

Seven weeks old tomorrow . . .

"Hi Neil!"

The other day John woke up from his nap and walked in to find me talking on the phone to my stepdad Neil. After I hung up, John absconded with the portable phone and was walking around saying very clearly, "Hi Neil! How are you? Fine." Of course, he wouldn't talk like that into a phone if there were another human being on the line! I tried to capture that on video tape, but John went silent.

Later we were driving in the car and John was playing with his Winnie the Pooh phone when I heard him start saying "Hi Neil!" again. We're working on getting him to say "Grampa Neil," but so far he won't string the two together.

Girl Clothing

Shopping for baby girl clothing is incredibly fun. Mary is developing quite the wardrobe, what with Christmas gifts, hand-me-downs from my sisters-in-law, and my shopping spree at our fabulous nearby consignment store yesterday. Is it even fair to take Mary out in public wearing this delightful Ralph Lauren piece I found for $2? Note the details in the puffy shoulders and precious Peter Pan collar with embroidered flowers! This little girl is going to stop traffic!
Mary is smiling more and more, especially in response to parental cooing and smiling. She has moved beyond flashes of a smile and will now give smiles for half a minute at a stretch.

(Okay, maternal relatives: Am I seeing correctly that Mary has one eye that squints shut more than the other when she smiles, plus a skewed smile--just like my mom and I have?)

Shredding Papers

Who needs to hire one of those expensive paper-shredding companies when you have a two-year-old?

Yesterday I came upon Chris organizing his office and John helping him shred old papers. John absolutely loves the shredding machine. Don't worry, no children were hurt in the making of this video. The shredder is guarded with safety features so little fingers can't get cut. Unfortunately, important papers are not so safe. After a few times when John snuck into Chris' old office upstairs and shredded papers that were not trash, we discovered that there is a master on-off switch hidden on the back of the shredder, so we now keep it turned off unless in use!

Teach Me a Lesson

I forgot the inevitability of writing publicly about the kids' sleep in yesterday's post. Of course the kids would prove me wrong. Last night John had one of the best nights in his life, waking only twice for a few seconds with no crying. Meanwhile, Mary woke all night, so I saw the clock in the one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, four o'clock, and five o'clock hours. She stayed awake for an hour around 3:00. Then when I tried to go back to sleep at 6:00, Mary was extremely restless. I think she was having a lot of reflux come up all night and I ended up sleeping what time I did sleep sitting up with her on my chest so she could be vertical.

Serves me right!

(I say all this in good humor. One big lesson that has begun to sink in pretty good after a short two years of motherhood is that a mother cannot count on any consistency with young children. So, don't try. If Mama tries to expect to have order, routine, and consistency with babies, she'll go batty and become depressed at the futility of it all. Expect a degree of "spontaneity" (chaos) and everything feels a bit better.)

Two Babies in a Glider

The wide bug eyes of a six-week-old:
Two cute siblings!

My cute boy says "Hi Mary!" and suggests she eat the ball. Then he puts the (soft) ball (gently) on her nose, which makes her fuss a little. (I don't know why the camera was going in and out of focus when I was sitting still and the glider wasn't moving. The video feature has been doing that lately.)

On a different topic, Mary is a very pleasant sleeper--at least so far in her six weeks on the outside. She began "sleeping through the night" (by definition, a five-hour stretch) within a week or so, I seem to recall. Her current pattern is to be asleep for the night around 8:00 to 9:00 p.m. She wakes very reliably at 2:00 a.m. (brief nursing, no crying), 4:00 a.m. (brief nursing, no crying), then at 5:00 a.m. for a long nursing and diaper change. (In the last week, she has not been requiring mid-night diaper changes!) Usually Mary has just fallen asleep when John wakes as if by alarm clock at 6:00 a.m. Then Mary continues what I consider her night sleeping for another one to two hours during which time I'm up with John (unless Chris gifts me with sleeping in, which he has often during his Christmas vacation). I won't rehash how John has slept for the last two years, but if we could survive that, we were prepared for anything . . . anything but an easy sleeper! Of course, now I know enough about infants not to rely on her pattern remaining so easy, but it might. And to answer the obvious question, I have not done anything differently concerning sleep with the two siblings--this difference appears to be one of temperament.